EMS World Expo Wrap-Up

Well, after a week in Las Vegas, I fly home early this afternoon.

Kilted.

I've already decided to opt out of the Porn O' Scan, and will request the enhanced patdown instead. I figure if they're going to invade my privacy, they should have to earn their money by groping a fat guy in a kilt.

EMS World Expo was a smashing success. Aside from a distressing lack of Coke Zero in the faculty lounge refrigerator, EMS World took care of it's speakers very well. I don't have the numbers, but the conference looked to be well-attended, and there were a host of excellent presentations to choose from.

On Wednesday, Confessions of an EMS Newbie did a live episode from the Promed Podcast Studio, sponsored by the American COllege of Emergency Physicians. We got to have our 1st and 3rd place winners of the EMS Newbie Essay Contest on the show, and our winning newbie, Mary Caitlin Kelly, had an excellent couple of shifts shadowing Dr. Bryan Bledsoe around the ED and doing ridealongs with MedicWest Ambulance.

Ron and I discovered that, due to scheduling conflicts, our September 1 live episode of Confessions of an EMS Newbie was canceled. So, Ron and I went back to our hotels, shucked our undergarments, donned our kilts, and prepared to do our kilted episode a day early…

… only to discover that the table at which we'd be sitting, being filmed and live-streamed, was not draped at all.

Gulp.

Despite constantly reminding myself, "Sit like a girl, sit like a girl, sit like a girl…" I think I sounded reasonably coherent, and we got to introduce our newbies to a true EMS legend, Lou Jordan. Look for the audio of that episode on EMS Newbie within a few days. Many thanks to the Promed Network for its support, ACEP for its sponsorship of the podcast studio, and EMS1.com for sponsoring our episode.

My teaching sessions were well-received; the attendees laughed, they cried, women threw their panties on stage, they held their lighters aloft and swayed rhythmically… you know, the usual.

All kidding aside, I was pleased with the reviews, and hopefully I'll be back speaking every year at EMS World Expo.

Got to see some old friends and make a host of new ones, and spend a few precious days with my sweetheart, which makes it not much like work at all.

Walking around the exhibit hall the past three days, and at the Hollywood Nights party at Planet Hollywood Thursday night, I got plenty of sidelong looks and outright stares at the kilt. A few brave souls asked outright if I wore it regimental-style, and I took the opportunity to educate them on prostate and testicular cancer awareness.

Being a first time kilt-wearer, it took a bit of getting used to, and after four days of wearing a kilt in public, I have a few observations:

• Chicks dig it. No, seriously, they do. Even a fat guy like me gets appreciative stares, and I got a few wolf whistles, too.
• I have a newfound appreciation for Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan and Brittney Spears. Getting out of a cab without flashing your junk is harder than it looks.
• When you sit, you have to do the Catholic schoolgirl smooth-your-skirt-down-as-you-sit maneuver, or things get… exposed. This is most especially distressing when the chair you're sitting in has a cold metal frame.
• Sit like a girl. Sit like a girl. SIT LIKE A GIRL.
• Squat or kneel, don't bend over.
• Do not put your foot up on a chair to tie your bootlaces. Most especially, do not do this when there are innocent eyes in the second row of your lecture.
• Wearing a sporran with a camera, wallet and pistol in it, when it hangs correctly, can cause chafing of sensitive bits.
• Certain bathroom activities are much more difficult than you'd think.
• It feels kinda… breezy. And quite addictive. I see myself as a frequent kilt-wearer in the future.
• Chicks really do dig it.

Anyhoo, the conference is over now, and tonight I'll be back to the old grind of saving lives and stamping out disease, and regular blog posting.

And if you haven't signed up for the Kilted to Kick Cancer fundraising challenge, it's still not too late to sign up, or support one of the bloggers who have, by clicking their blog links to donate to prostate and testicular cancer research.

And by "one of the bloggers," I mean ME.