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305

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Actually, it was 302.4, but I'm allowing for the fact that I wasn't in uniform when I weighed in, and had no cell phone camera to capture the scale readout.

That's 55.2 pounds lost since February 1. Hopefully, I can put up a sub-300 post by the time I get back from EMS World Expo!

Next Stop: 300!

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Down to 309.8 pounds. That's 2.9 pounds since last Friday, and 50.4 pounds overall. Last week, I vowed to be below 310 at the next weigh-in, and I barely made it. The next milestone is 300 pounds, and I'll once again match my driver's license and CHL.

Maybe in a couple of weeks…

Plateau

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It's been a month since I last posted a weigh-in, and I'm up 0.6 pounds since then.

 

That's not as bad as it seems, though. My last weigh-in was done after a day on the water, and I was one epically sunburned, dehydrated mofo when I stepped on the scale. Since then, my weight has hovered around 316 pounds, and I've not strictly followed by daily calorie limit. What with trips to Phlegmfest 2011 earlier in the month, and introducing a Yankee to New Orleans cuisine  for the week of our state EMS conference, I did well to remain static at 316 pounds.

So this week's weigh-in is rather encouraging, actually. I'm pretty sure last month's mark of 312.1 pounds was an anomaly, and this week's weigh-in was me, in full uniform and well-hydrated. I'm back to strict adherence to my daily calorie limit, and this weekend promises a great deal of hot, sweaty strenuous exercise.

I fully expect next week to be below 310 pounds. We'll see how it goes.

Still Trending Down…

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… despite a couple of days of indulging myself. I didn't pig out, mind you, but I did go over my calorie count on couple of occasions.

For those of you keeping score at home, that's down 5.9 pounds from 10 days ago, and 48.1 pounds overall since February 1.

I’m a Dodge V8

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Specifically, a 318, but not that deer-smashing wildcat cartridge, the .318 Dakota.

 

Yeah, I know the scale says 317, but I typically have another pound of EMS paraphernalia in my pockets when I weigh in. That's two more pounds down, and now that KatyBeth is out of school, there will be a lot more days of hiking, swimming, and jet-skiing. In a few more weeks, I might even match the weight printed on my driver's license!

 

Three Twenty

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That's forty pounds lost since February 1. Actually, at 319, it's more like 41.2 pounds, but since I normally have more than a pound of EMS detritus in my pockets when I weigh in, I'm going with 40.

That's 3.1 pounds down from two weeks ago. I wasn't able to weigh in last Friday, and after the gastronomical orgy that was Easter weekend, followed by a conference trip mid-week, it was probably a good thing. By the time I stepped on a scale this Wednesday, I was up to 325. Rather than post it then, I chose to wait until this afternoon and weigh again.
 

Even when the scale doesn't show it, my body knows my gut is getting smaller. My left leg is on fire right now, has been for a couple of weeks, and probably will be for another 20 pounds before it goes away altogether.

I can't wait.

Gotta Get Bizzay…

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… because I need to be dropping more than this.

 

I'm 2.7 pounds down since last week, and 37.1 pounds over all. I'm happy with that, but I can and have done better.

Gotta get busy with the exercise. By the time y'all read this, I'll have already walked three miles or so, and hopefully be another couple hundred rounds toward smoothing out that atrocious trigger on my Chiappa.

Steady As She Goes

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Today's weight, 325.8 pounds, down 0.8 pounds from last week, and 34.4 pounds lost overall.

 

Not as much as I'd hoped for, but as long as the downward trend continues, I'm okay with it. Got some pretty strenuous work and play planned for the next week, so hopefully next Friday will see me nudging the 320 pound mark.

I Feel Like a Jockey…

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… provided the horse I'm riding is the size of an elephant.

326.6 pounds, down 2.4 pounds since last week, and 33.6 since February 1.

Go Team Me!

Still Shrinking

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329 pounds.

That's down 2.4 pounds since last week, and a total of 31.2 pounds lost since February 1.

I've gotten some emails inquiring as to what diet I'm on, and the answer is, it's not a diet at all. It's simply better eating and lifestyle habits. One lady in Connecticut was astonished at my daily calorie limit, convinced that I'm going to shift my body into "starvation mode," where it will store every available calorie. I assured her that was not the case, and that I've had a great deal of success with this approach before.

In case any of you are burning with curiosity about what exactly the plan entails, here it is in a nutshell:

  1. 1500 calories a day. Some days I exceed that by a couple hundred calories, but most days I come in at 1250 calories or so.
  2. Six meals a day. The three main meals of breakfast, lunch and dinner are 350 calories, and in-between snacks are 150 calories or so. It's not specifically low carb or low fat or low sodium, but the eating choices I make pretty much make eating fried foods and anything with processed sugar or processed flour a thing of the past. I get lots of protein by way of fish and chicken. I eat red meat when I want it, but I make sure to stay under my calories limit for that meal. This keeps my metabolism running at high rpm.
  3. I cheat. I mean that in all seriousness. My self-image isn't tied up in my looks, but I would like to be able to get off the floor without my knees protesting, and I'd like to take back up some of the athletic pursuits i used to enjoy. Bottom line is, I'm not punishing mysellf for being a fatass. I'm just trying to be healthier overall. So when I'm hungry, I eat something. When I want to treat myself, I treat myself. The difference is, now I have a slice of pizza instead of the whole damned pie.
  4. I listen to my body. One of the hidden advantages of such a low calorie intake is that you become intimately re-acquainted with what hunger feels like. The good news is, after three weeks or so, the serious hunger pangs pretty much disappear, and my body stops screaming, "Feed me, Seymour!'" So now, when I'm hungry, I eat. The good news is, now I can tell the difference between hunger pangs and my psyche telling me, "You're bored. Shovel something into your face." I listen to the former, and I ignore the latter.
  5. Exercise.

That last one is the hardest. I'm not exercising enough, which is the main reason I'm not shedding the pounds at the rate I was last time. When I was working days at PGHNSTRACH, I walked to work every day, a 3.5 mile round trip. Most my shift was spent on my feet as well.

Working nights on a SSM ambulance is another situation entirely. It's largely a sedentary job, interspersed with occasional moments of extreme exertion. I sit in an ambulance all night running calls, and then I come home in the morning and collapse into bed, mentally drained. I'm in no mood at all to exercise during my off-duty hours.

That looks to change soon, now that the weather is warming up. My days will soon be spent mowing grass, on the lake swimming and skiing, or chasing an 8-year-old through the woods. Summers hold the potential for plenty of the kind of physical exertion I enjoy. By the time EMS Expo rolls around in late August, I'm going to be a radically different looking and feeling dude. 

I'm looking forward to it.

Still Trending Down…

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… even if it's only a little.

Today's weigh-in was 331.5, down a mere 0.4 pounds from last week.

But, given how much I indulged myself in Connecticut, I am freakin' ecstatic over that little loss. With all the beer and steak that ran through my system (and garlic mashed potatoes, and bacon, and home fries, and more beer, and…), I really expected to gain a little.

This week, it's back to good habits, and hopefully an even smaller number on the scale next week.

Plateau No Mo’

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Well, after a relatively static week hovering at 337, looks like the downward trend continues:

Yeah, baby!

Yeah, it’s a blurry cell phone photo, but my current weight is 331.9, down 28.3 pounds since February 1.

Go Team Me!

337 Pounds

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Today’s weigh-in showed no change from last week’s.

I’ll take it, though. Considering the circumstances, it’s still probably a net loss of a couple of pounds.

When I weigh in, I try to use the same scale, at roughly the same time of day and wearing the same clothing. When I weighed in at the highway rest stop in Connecticut, I was wearing jeans, running shoes and a light shirt. All my other weigh-ins have been on the same scale at a local ED, while wearing my uniform, Magnum boots and my pockets encumbered with all the detritus of a typical ambulance shift.

That stuff weighs at least a couple pounds more than casual clothing.

Anyhoo, it’s progress, however small. Tomorrow begins the exercise in earnest. I’ll walk 3 miles, and once my weight drops a bit more and the inevitable arthritis in my left knee fades, I’ll start riding a bike.

If anyone is interested in how I’m doing it, there’s no big secret to it. I eat six meals a day; the three main meals are 350 calories each, and the in-between meals are 150 calories each. If I get hungry despite that, I munch celery.

I cut out junk food, avoid fried stuff like it’s Kryptonite, and if I eat bread, I make sure it’s whole wheat. I drink water, and lots and lots of Coke Zero.

And yeah, I know I should drink less Coke Zero and more water. You’ll get my Coke Zero when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

My body has already stopped sending me the hungry signals, and a decent salad can fill me up now, whereas a month ago I could inhale that same salad and 10 pounds of crawfish without breaking a sweat.

I’m still trending steadily downward, and the increased exercise should only kick the weight loss into high gear. I’m feeling good, and these eating habits are easily sustainable for me – something that can be become a lifestyle and not a diet.

It’s working!

Hey, Happy Medic…

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… turns out the nice folks at United Airlines at Logan Airport will indeed let you step on their baggage scale to check your weight.

Unfortunately, that thing only weighs up to 250 pounds.

Who knew?

The Incredible Shrinking Ambulance Driver

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If the coin-operated scale at the highway rest stop in northern Maryland is to be believed, I’m down two more pounds in the past eight days.

I’ll take that, especially considering that I haven’t been able to be as diligent in my diet choices while at EMS Today, and that a few pounds of those are hops and barley retention.

I fly home Monday, and then it’s back to my scheduled meal plan, and hopefully better results next week!

The Incredible Shrinking Ambulance Driver

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If you’ve ever met me in person, then you know that I am, well… portly. The less-charitably inclined, including myself, would say that I am corpulent, wheezing bag of fatassitude.

Despite that, I am generally healthy. My HDL, LDL, total cholesterol and triglycerides would be the envy of any man. My blood sugar is well within normal ranges, my BP runs around 120/80 most days, and my resting heart rate runs in the mid-70′s. I generally don’t winded easily, unless I’m tying my shoes and my big, fat gut impairs expansion of my diaphragm.

I can still do my share of lifting, and for a big guy, I can move pretty quickly.

Still, I am not without health problems. I have meralgia paresthetica, a chronic pain in my left upper leg, caused by my Cinderella belly* pressing on my left lateral cutaneous nerve. It makes it rather painful to wear pants, and especially a belt. But, since I can’t fully adopt the Robb Allen Pants-Free Lifestyle™, I must soldier on.

I’ve had creaky knees since I was diagnosed with Osgood-Schlatter disease in high school, and the pain has been there in various degrees of severity ever since. Mostly, pain is just part of the landscape now, but I notice it when I get up and down from the floor, and my weight ain’t doing those creaky knees any favors.

My current blood pressure is considered normal, but if I drop to well below 300, my BP runs around 100/60, and my resting heart rate runs in the mid-40′s. Plus, my cardiovascular recovery after strenuous exercise decreases from “Somebody please shoot me!” to “Hey baby, wanna go again?”

Regular readers of my blog also know that I went on a successful weight-loss campaign three years ago this month. I lost 84 pounds between February 4 and June 25, 2008, and didn’t have to resort to fad diets or surgery to do it. I simply expended more calories than I consumed, and when I wanted to indulge every now and then, I made sure to expend more calories that week.

Unfortunately, the move back to an ambulance on night shifts, coupled with the bike wreck that left me unable to do anything other than walk (gingerly) for a couple of months, all conspired to knock me off the healthy eating wagon. January 31, I stepped on the scale at the hospital, and was horrified to see that I was back up to 360.2 pounds.

That’s only two pounds short of the heaviest I’ve ever been.

I gained back 82 of the 84 pounds I had lost, in a little over two years.

I vowed then to change my disgusting dietary habits and start exercising, and thus far I’ve dropped 21 pounds since February 1. That’s the really shameful part about it; I have no problem losing weight. My tastes are simple, and I’m just as happy eating a foil pack of tuna and an apple as I am wolfing down a Taco Bell Heart Attack In A Sack™. All it takes is the willpower to do something about it.

So starting today, the weight loss ticker goes back up on the sidebar of my blog, and I’ll post updates on my progress every Friday. My goal is to be below 250 pounds by the Texas EMS Conference in November. That’s over 110 pounds in 8½ months. That’s a lofty goal, but I’ve proven I can lose the weight if I try. Now the task is sustaining good habits, and making it a lifestyle.

Hopefully,  I can eventually go from this…

November 2007, 360 pounds. I call it "Cellulite On Celluloid."

… back to this:

25 years old, 6'2" and 218 pounds.

Yeah, I know it looks like I’m about 17 years old and 165 pounds there, but I’m deceptive like that.

While I’m at it, any of you other JEMS Fire/EMS bloggers want to join me in a weight-loss challenge? Yeah, I’m looking at you, Mike Ward and John Mitchell

* So called because it turns back to penis at midnight, despite the scurrilous lies told by my ex-wife. See also tool shed, hops and barley retention, and solar panel for the sex machine.

Either I Scraped Off More Hide Than I Thought…

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…or I’ve lost another four pounds. That’s 84 pounds lost since February 4th, if anyone besides me is counting, with roughly 40 more to go.

Actually, from looking at a left leg that is twice as large as my right, you’d think I’d weigh more, but that is apparently not the case.

Since I started with The Borg, my exercise regimen has slacked off a bit, and I haven’t been as diligent in my eating habits either. I’m still losing though, and I expect the weight loss to accelerate considerably once my leg heals and I can get on a bicycle.

A number of people have e-mailed me asking my secret, and honestly, there isn’t one. I expend more than I consume. It’s that simple. If you guys would like a post describing exactly what my diet and exercise regimen has been, let me know in the comments and I’ll be happy to oblige.

Be warned, though: it isn’t anything Earth-shaking.

On another note, since I’m essentially an invalid for the next 7-10 days, expect a marked upswing of posting in the next week, starting with the story of the bike wreck later tonight or tomorrow.

You’re welcome.

Slowly But Surely…

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….going from looking like this guy…


…to looking like this one:

And hopefully by Thanksgiving will be back to looking like this one (albeit with a better haircut):


That’s 80 pounds lost since February 4, folks. Another 45 or so, perhaps more, to go. I’m hoping that last 45 pounds is going to make all the difference.

Browsing my blogroll, I got to thinking…

Shaved head? Check.

Dodge truck? Check.

Motorcycle? Check.

Significant weight loss? Check.

Foul mouth and a fondness for firearms? Check.

ZOMFG, I’m turning into Jay G.!

In other news, Wyatt Earp has lost a significant chunk of weight recently, too. When asked to describe the change in Wyatt’s appearance, one of the babes prominently posted in his sidebar described seeing the new Wyatt naked in the locker room:


For Wyatt’s sake, I hope she’s indicating the amount of weight he’s lost.

I Am Made of Win

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Three days since my last weigh-in, and I stopped at the hospital today to pick up some paperwork. I stepped on the scale, just for curiosity’s sake.

That’s 287 pounds, folks. Five more pounds in the past three days, and 75 pounds overall.

Forgive me for saying that I totally rock.

Steady Progress…

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…despite being less than diligent about what I ate for the last couple of weeks. Didn’t get much chance to exercise either, other than playing hard with KatyBeth out on the lake.

Still, that’s 70 pounds down, a loss of five pounds over the past two weeks. I guess it really is all about lifestyle changes and not “dieting.”

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

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By conscious decision, I don’t post about the fluctuations in weight as I go through this ongoing process of altering my eating habits and lifestyle. I only post the pounds lost, not the occasional pounds gained back.

And I don’t obsess about them either.

For instance, during my four days of assimilation orientation with The Borg, they fed us three meals a day. Unfortunately, by the time we got to the cafeteria, most of the salads were gone, and they treat mashed potatoes, rice and gravy as a major food group.

Plus, I went out for beer and wings a couple of those nights. When I weighed in Friday morning here at PGHNSTRACH, my weight had ballooned back up to 304 pounds.

No worries, though. Go back to healthy eating and regular exercise, and the pounds will disappear. At this point, healthy eating is becoming a habit, and it’s harder to eat like a pig than it is to eat in moderation.

This morning, I stepped on the scales and weighed in at 297.

For those of you keeping score at home, that’s 65 pounds lost, in 3 1/2 months.

Yay me!

One Major Milestone Down…

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…only a couple more to go until the finish line.

Today, my lardassitude just took another kick in the crotch. Weight as of this morning, 299 pounds.

I broke the 300 pound barrier, folks! That’s 63 pounds lost in 3 1/2 months.

I am made of win.

I Feel So Relieved

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For the past eight years, I have held a terrible secret, one that has caused me no small amount of sleepless nights. On at least two occasions during that time, I’ve had the opportunity to level with the authorities, and neither time did I avail myself of the opportunity to cleanse my soul of its terrible burden.

But now, as of this morning, I no longer feel like a hunted man. It feels as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. The monkey is off my back.

That is, if the monkey weighed fifty-five pounds.

You see, as of this morning, for the first time in eight years my actual weight has matched the number printed on my driver’s license.

Just makes me want to prance naked through the DMV calling neener neener neener

In other news, it looks as if I may soon be leaving my comfy, well-lit ER here at PGHNSTRACH and going back to work on the bolance. If that happens, I’ll post a couple of before and after weight-loss pics. I’ll wait until the day before I start work at the Big Green Army, so at least my beloved goatee will be memorialized before the powers-that-be force me to shave it back to a simple porn star moustache.

*Sob*

If Pounds Were Playing Cards…

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…I’d be down a full deck right now. Fifty-two pounds lost since February 4th.

My friends have always described me as being a couple cards shy of a full deck. How little they knew…

Yeah, But I'm Really Chewy

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How many cannibals could your body feed?
Created by OnePlusYou

I’d probably go really well with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Just for perspective though, the 48 pounds I’ve lost since since February 4th could feed thirteen cannibals. Hopefully, by November I’ll be little more than a decent appetizer rather than the Family Bucket of Deep-Fried Paramedic(TM) that I am now.

Tuesday, I volunteered to be a guinea pig control study for the professional vampires in the lab while they were calibrating their equipment, and my lipid panel came back as:

Total cholesterol: 167

Triglycerides: 136

HDL: 36.8

LDL: 103

HDL/LDL Ratio: .357

So apparently, I am also a heart-healthy meal for the discerning cannibal.

Now if I could just walk without my left knee giving me fits, I’d be great. I see an MRI and a visit with an orthopedist in my near future.


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