Fussy Grandmother: “Now don’t you drop my grand-baby!”

AD (winking at the child’s mother): “We do try to avoid such things, Ma’am. Too much paperwork involved.”

FG (huffily) “Well, doesn’t that beat all! You’re more concerned with paperwork than taking care of my granddaughter!”

AD: “Taking care of brave, pretty little girls like her is the easy part, Ma’am. It’s much harder to do the paperwork and calm down the panicky grandmothers.”

FG: “I’m not panicky! I’m calm!”

AD: “Ma’am, you were waving your arms so frantically we could feel the breeze all the way from the road.”

Child’s Mother:” [spit take]…”

You can get away with saying things like that after you’ve just hit the IV the mother never thought you’d get, much less convince her scared pre-schooler to sit still while you did it.

That’s why they call me The Baby Whisperer.