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Verbatim Patient Report From Tonight:

Ambulance Driver: "Heya, Mercy General. This is AD on Borg Cube 387, 5 minutes out with Patient X, who is apparently suffering from, well… let's call it acute exacerbation of chronic Patient X-ness."

ED Nurse (sighing): "So she's drunk and fighting with her boyfriend again? What is it this time, abdominal pain or demonic possession?"

AD: "Not really sure, haven't determined if I'm talking to Patient X or the demon."

ED Nurse: "Straight to triage upon arrival, AD."

AD: "Roger that, straight to triage for exorcism via fluorescent light therapy. See you in five."

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on July 19, 2011 • Filed under: Frequent Fliers, Humor

You Know He’s a Frequent Flier* When:

26 comments

You arrive on the scene for the unconscious male lying in the roadway, cruise slowly past the police cars blocking traffic, and without even getting out of your ambulance, you roll down the window and bark, “Leon! Get your ignorant ass outta the road! Someone runs over you, you might damage a perfectly good car!”

And not only does Leon obediently cease being an impediment to traffic flow, he also hobbles meekly to your ambulance and climbs aboard. You should have seen the face of the cops who called us.

Yes, Leon is a patient we transport all the time, and yes, that’s exactly how the call went down.

And no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him that about 220 grains of Trepanazine wouldn’t fix.

*Of course, The Borg frowns on us referring to such people as frequent fliers. Rather, they’re valued repeat customers, which everyone knows are the foundation to a successful business.

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