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I Love Edison Medicine

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Makes me feel all… paramedical, and stuff.

Conversation with the patient after I lit him up like a Christmas tree:

Patient: "So I was pretty sick, huh?"

AD: "Still are pretty sick."

Patient: "I didn't want my wife to call y'all, but I'm kinda glad she did anyway. If she hadn't called 911, I'd have…"

AD: "… stubborned yourself to death? Yes, you would have. I hope to hell you got her a nice Mother's Day gift today."

He's already had his coronary arteries stented, new ones grafted, and the grafts stented, so I guess now he'll get an AICD as his latest souvenir for thumbing his nose at The Reaper.

Almost Heaven, West Virginia

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Woke up this morning to this view from my room at the lodge:

Yeah, I'll take that over a view of the Las Vegas strip or Baltimore's inner harbor any day.

Gave three talks today, with three more tomorrow and two on Saturday. I'm beat, but that's probably because, in direct violation of EMS New Year's Resolution #3, I was up until the wee hours of the morning buffing a presentation just hours before I delivered it.

As usual.

So now I am safely ensconced in my room, propped up on pillows with my netbook on my belly, pondering the room service menu and wondering which hospitality rooms I'll hit tonight.

And later, I'm gonna hang out with some cool EMS folks, and get real intimate with a quart jar of watermelon moonshine one kind soul gave to me as a "Welcome to West Virginia" present.

Yessir, it is good to be me.

The Borg: Remorselessly Resuscitating More People Than Ever

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Just got the word from Headquarters Hive that, through the efforts of my fellow drones and I, our cardiac arrest resuscitation rate for 2011 was 27.48%. For the third quarter of 2011, our resuscitation rate was 34.78%. In 2005, when we started tracking it, our resuscitation rate was only 8.2%.

Of course, that's only for witnessed VF arrest, but those are the same measures used by those systems that tout resuscitation rates over 50%. That means that over 1 of 4 of our VF patients were discharged from the hospital neurologically intact or only mildly impaired.

Not too shabby, considering that we cover 58 counties/parishes in Mississippi, Texas and Louisiana, with over 250 ground ambulances in service at any one time. And most of our service area is rural or suburban.

There's nothing mystical about what we're doing, either – no special drug regimens, no mechanical CPR devices, no whiz-bang airways, no six-man CPR pit crews. We simply emphasize uninterrupted chest compressions.

To that end, we deemphasize advanced airway access until later in the resuscitation (if at all) and only if we can do it without interrupting compressions, and we work our codes on scene, because packaging for transport results in too many interruptions, and chest compressions in a moving ambulance suck.

I'd say "good job" to my fellow drones, but that praise has already spread through the Hive Mind already.

Spinal Immobilization: You Make The Call

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With apologies to Happy Medic for borrowing one of his regular themes, allow me to present an exercise in distinguishing Doing What Is Right from Doing What Is In The Protocol:

It's a balmy late summer night, and you respond to lovely, pastoral Decubitus Manor Convalescent Home for a patient injured in a fall. Upon your arrival, you find a charming and alert elderly male complaining of neck pain. He fell 24 hours before, went to the local ED that night and had staples put in his scalp. Skull and C-spine x-rays revealed no obvious fractures, and patient was discharged back to the nursing home.

He complained of neck pain throughout the day today, and finally the doctor ordered him sent back to the ED for a CT scan of the cervical spine. The gentleman had been back at the nursing home today until 9:00 pm, when the radiologist finally interpreted the CT scan. The unofficial, verbal interpretation relayed to the rad tech was "odontoid fracture, and comminuted fracture of C-1."

Our charming little old man is neurologically intact, and has been doddering around the nursing home for 24 hours with no ill effects. The nursing home doc wants him to go somewhere with an on-staff neurosurgeon, which the local ED says is a facility 70 miles away. They call an ambulance to make the transport.

Enter your intrepid hero, Ambulance Driver.

Now here's the conundrum. This is a neurologically intact patient, 24 hours post-injury, with a history significant for osteoporosis, severe arthritis, and anxiety. He is alert and able to follow commands appropriately, and participate in his exam. He has no parasthesias or weakness in his extremities, but does have point tenderness to his posterior cervical spine. He does not have kyphosis to any appreciable degree.

My protocols are pretty clear on this issue: Gramps gets the full spinal package. Not only is he over 65 with an "injury above the clavicles" (two of our sillier criteria, based on the Canadian C-spine rules), but he has the cervical spine tenderness, not to mention the friggin' CT scan that reveals a potentially unstable high C-spine fracture.

Now, an 80+ minute trip strapped to a spine board isn't the cruelest thing I can think of doing to this man, but the other two possibilities involve nipple clamps and a live ferret. He weighs less than his age, and his chart already includes orders for a Fentanyl patch PRN and gel seat pads for his wheelchair. I don't like the idea of boarding him if I can help it.

But we're not talking about what I would do. What would you do?

Do you shrug your shoulders and say, "Protocols are protocols," and tell him to suck it up for the 80+ minute trip to the hospital with neurosurgery, or do you explore other options? If so, what are those options? You tell me what you'd do in my place, and I'll post what I actually did in a few days.

You make the call.

For You EMS Types…

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… there's a new Clinical Tip on EMS1.com.

You old hands have probably used this trick a few times, but I'll bet most of the newbies have never heard of it. I know my partners usually look at me like I've grown a second head whenever I have them help me do it…

On the Cult of Mechanism:

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Rogue Medic weighs in with his opinion on evaluating vehicle intrusion as a predictor of injury, which was the subject of a recent episode of the excellent EMS Research Podcast. In his post, he states: 

"We want EMS to pay attention to the assessment of the actual patient, rather than the assessment of the possible cost of repair of the vehicle."

Word to your mutha, RM. In fact, I'm stealing that line. Next time one of my co-workers makes a silly decision based solely on what the vehicle looked like, I'm going to ask him, "Are you an EMT, or an auto insurance adjuster?"

I've opined before on the irrational degree of faith EMS places in mechanism of injury criteria. For some, it's a belief system bordering on culthood. MOI criteria were developed as a conceptual tool to give us an idea of where and what to assess, and a rough means of predicting what injuries may be present.

It is not the assessment itself.

The proper use of MOI is to guide assessment, not to dictate treatment and transport decisions.

Further in, Rogue Medic points out:

Why do we treat STEMIs (ST segment Elevation Myocardial Infarctions) with the opposite approach?

The dichotomy is that with trauma triage, we accept a 1,000% to 2,000% overtriage rate, while with STEMI triage, we consider a 5% overtriage rate to be unacceptably high.

The reason is because we're activating trauma centers based on what the car looked like, and we're doing STEMI alerts based on what the patient looked like.

While their pack/day cigarette habit, the number of cheeseburgers they routinely scarf down, and whether their daddy died of a heart attack may be pertinent history, we're activating the cath lab based on presentation.

We should be using the same approach to triage our trauma patients.

Blogger Save!

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“So there we were, a crowd of anxious onlookers gathered around, me and my trusty sidekick kneeling next to a sweet little grandma in the throes of VF, and us without an AED or even a CPR pocket mask. And right then, I turned to my compadre and said, “Partner, this is the kind of call where legends are made…”

**********

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t exactly how it happened, but since that’s the way most EMS war stories begin, why break with tradition?

TOTWTYTR and I left EMS Today 2011 after the exhibit hall closed Saturday, and pointed ourselves north to Philly to meet some blogger friends for dinner. After a superb meal and a couple hours of riotously funny conversation, we continued on our way, stopping overnight in Edison, NJ.

Sunday morning, before continuing our trek to Massachusetts, we stopped at a local diner for breakfast. Since my vow to change my eating habits for the better, breakfast for me has usually been a cereal bar and a piece of fruit. This morning, however, I decided that man cannot live on twigs and berries alone, so I indulged myself with scrambled eggs and bacon, with the substitution of Egg Beaters being my only concession to healthy eating.

TOTWTYTR, being the supportive friend that he is, had the friggin’ French toast, liberally smothered in powdered sugar and maple syrup.

So, as I morosely pushed my imitation eggs around my plate and wished a four-vessel bypass on my friend, we heard a commotion behind us.

“Call 911!” came an urgent voice, echoed shortly thereafter by a more authoritative one, this time with the force of command, “CALL 911.”

“Sounds like they could use some help,” TOTWTYTR observed laconically.

“Sounds like it,” I replied coolly. “Shall we?”

Because you know, it’s important to be laconic and cool when you’re a pair of trauma fighting superheroes.

So, following EMS Axiom #4 (paramedics do not run), we moseyed over to the booth in question. Well, I moseyed. TOTWTYTR, being the senior medic in the room, chose to swagger.

As we shouldered our way through the knot of waitresses and onlookers, we identified ourselves as off-duty paramedics. “Thank God,” one of them breathed, and the crowd parted to reveal an elderly woman slumped over in the booth, eyes open and unfocused, breathing agonally.

TOTWTYTR, not one to mince words, suggested, “Let’s get her out of the booth and onto the floor where we can manage her airway.”

As we did just that, I noticed an elderly gentleman sitting in an adjacent booth, watching us fearfully, tears welling in his eyes. Her husband.

A waitress stood behind him, fluttering hands gently placed on his shoulders in a comforting gesture, but her eyes had more tears in them than his.

I slid my fingers up the sleeve of her coat, feeling for a radial pulse. Finding none, I glanced up at TOTWTYTR, who was also searching in vain for a carotid pulse.

“Got anything down there?” he asked hopefully, and I shook my head. “Okay, time to start compressions.”

It occurred to me then that, for the 10+ years we’ve been friends, this was the first time TOTWTYTR and I had ever worked a call together. Despite that, we were already completing each other’s thoughts.

As I started compressions, grimacing at that initial crunch of rib cartilage separating in an elderly person, he said, “No pocket mask… let’s just do compression-only CPR until help gets here.”

I interrupted my mental compression count to reply, “I’ll call for a switch after 200, and we’ll swap positions. Just keep monitoring her airway.”

As I was nearing my 100th compression, I felt an urgent tug at my left elbow. A voice asked, ”What compression are you on?”

By way of reply, I started counting aloud, “Ninety-four, ninety-five, ninety-six…”

Stop!” the voice blurted, and I turned my head to see an attractive woman in her mid-thirties, kneeling on the opposite seat of the booth. “You’re only supposed to do thirty compressions at a time!” she admonished.

Rather than explain the differences between dual-rescuer CPR for healthcare providers and compression-only CPR for laypersons, I simply smiled reassuringly and replied, “It’s okay, we’re both paramedics and CPR instructors.”

Apparently, that wasn’t adequate explanation.

She drew herself up haughtily, and retorted, “I took CPR just six months ago, and I know you’re supposed to give 30 compressions and 2 ventilations.”

So I retorted, just as haughtily, “Do you know who you’re talking to? DO YOU?? You’re talking to Ambulance Driver and muhfuckin’ Too Old To Work, beeyotch!

Okay, so maybe I didn’t say exactly that. Instead, forcing myself to remain polite, I kept the confident smile on my face and used my Paramedic Voice. “Thanks for your assistance, Ma’am, but the standards changed only four months ago. You can rest assured that the paramedic CPR instructors know how to do CPR.”

TOTWTYTR suppressed a chuckle, and said, “That’s two minutes. Ready to switch?”

As I slid into position at the woman’s head, both of us noticed that her eyes had begun to focus, and that her breathing had improved enough to notice visible chest rise.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing that.

They teach you in CPR class that breathing becomes agonal within seconds following the onset of ventricular fibrillation, and truly that describes this woman’s respiratory effort. Her rate, however, was 12, perhaps 14 breaths per minute.

That’s within normal range for an adult.

I’ve seen healthcare providers mistake the onset of VF for a seizure, as the patient arched their back and spasmodically jerked. Only checking a pulse clued the nurses in to the fact that we were dealing with a lethal arrhythmia and not a seizure.

I’ve also done CPR on witnessed arrests where our compressions provided enough brain perfusion to allow the victim to open his eyes, look at you when his name was called, and nod his head in answer to questions. The moment you stopped, however, those eyes lost their focus, and the patient quickly lost consciousness.

Apparently, that was the case with this woman, because as we vainly searched for a pulse, her breathing quickly declined and her eyes rolled back once again.

Muttering under his breath, TOTWTYTR resumed compressions, and I maintained a head-tilt, chin-lift in hopes that a little passive oxygenation might be possible with the changes in intrathoracic pressure brought about by chest compressions.

Shortly after beginning our second cycle of compressions, a set of AED pads appeared in my field of vision, held by a police officer whose hands were shaking so badly that he could barely pull the backing paper off the pads. TOTWTYTR looked at the shaking hands, followed them up to the officer’s face, and made his judgment.

“It’s okay,” he said gently, “we’ve got it.” Taking the pads from the grateful officer, he quickly lifted the woman’s blouse and applied them. As the AED analyzed the rhythm, he rocked back on his haunches to rest.

Shock advised,” purred the AED in its telephone operator’s voice. “Stand clear. Push the SHOCK button.”

“Everybody clear!” called TOTWTYTR, waving his hand over the patient.

Nothing happened.

I looked up to see the cop standing three feet away, the SHOCK button on the AED flashing an insistent red.

“I think he’s waiting on you to do it,” I said softly, nodding at the cop. TOTWTYTR twisted around to look at the abandoned AED, then up at the cop. Shrugging, he pressed the button, the woman’s back arched in spasm, and we were already shifting positions before her torso relaxed onto the floor once again.

TOTWTYTR resumed compressions, waving off my offer to switch places. “I’m good,” he grunted. “I had just started when we stopped to shock, anyway. See if the cop has a BVM.”

The cop, overhearing him, unzipped a side pocket of his BLS bag, ripped the BVM out of its plastic wrapper, and thrust it at me.

Naturally, the mask was not attached to the bag. Story of my life.

I got up, stepped behind TOTWTYTR and fished the mask out of the BVM wrapper. I settled in at the woman’s head, tilted her head back, and nodded at my partner.

“Go ahead,” he grunted, hands poised just above the woman’s chest. I delivered two breaths, and as soon as the second one was in, he resumed compressions, counting aloud this time.

See what I mean about completing each other’s thoughts? It couldn’t have been a more seamless transition into two-rescuer CPR, with barely a word exchanged between us.

I wish my BVM technique had been as flawless, because I was missing a few breaths now and then. I dropped the BVM briefly to reposition her head, and resumed ventilations the next time the count reached 30.

Only got the first one in, damn it.

“Someone hand my partner an OPA if you’ve got one,” TOTWTYTR ordered, and presently a medium adult Berman-type OPA was handed to me. The arm that held it was clad in turnout gear.

I looked up at the firefighter holding the OPA. “If you’ll hand me your tubing, I’ll hook you up to oxygen,” he offered. Gratefully, I handed him the BVM’s oxygen connector, and he opened the flow meter to 15 liters.

Unfortunately, inserting the OPA proved more difficult, because our patient was trismic. I managed to wedge the OPA briefly between her molars, but since I wasn’t wearing gloves, I was somewhat reluctant to stick my thumb in her mouth to perform and tongue-jaw lift.

Besides, adding a severed thumb to the mix would only complicate her airway issues. So, I carefully repositioned her head and resumed ventilations, sans OPA. With a little more attention to detail, I was able to ventilate her more effectively.

As the AED counted down, “Analyzing in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… stop compressions… do not touch the patient…” I looked up to see more professional rescuers in the room, including several not wearing turnout gear.

Problem was, they were all on the wrong side of a knot of onlookers, and were having little success in making their way to the patient, doing it the polite way.

As TOTWTYTR pushed the SHOCK button a second time, I maneuvered into place to resume compressions. We had given several sets of compressions and ventilations when I heard that familiar voice at my left elbow, “Here, put these under her neck.”

I looked up to see our helpful bystander, the CPR critic, thrusting a six-inch stack of wet napkins at me. Resisting the urge to tell her to go boil some water, I instead thanked her for her help and laid the soggy napkins on the woman’s chest. “We’ll get right to that on the next compressor switch,” I lied.

The next time the AED started its analysis sequence, a calmer voice said, “Thanks guys, we’ll take it from here.” TOTWTYTR and I looked up to see that the BLS rescue squad had managed to maneuver their way to the patient’s side. One was already kneeling beside the AED, finger poised over the SHOCK button. A third was standing behind TOTWTYTR.

As we stood up and massaged the kinks from our lower backs, the local EMTs delivered a third shock and resumed compressions, with little wasted motion.

As we stepped back and watched the CPR ballet, for once as spectators and not participants, my buddy said laconically, “Our work here is done. Shall we wash our hands before finishing our breakfast?”

Remember how I said it was important to be cool and laconic when you’re a lifesaving superhero? Y’all make a note of that.

“Good idea,” I chuckled, and followed him to the men’s room.

As we made our way back to our table, I noticed our patient still lying there, and no one doing compressions or ventilations. I elbowed TOTWTYR.

“Check it out,” I snorted. “We do uninterrupted chest compressions right up until the professional EMTs get here, and now everyone’s busy doing anything but what they’re supposed to be…”

… and then I noticed the woman breathing, and doing a pretty fair job of it, in fact. One EMT was feeling for a carotid pulse, a triumphant grin on his face, while another was filling the reservoir on a non re-breather mask.

“Okay, well maybe they had good reason to stop compressions,” I admitted sheepishly. “Looks like they got her back.”

“Hope so,” TOTWTYTR agreed. “Witnessed arrest, CPR started immediately… maybe she’s got a fighting chance.”

When we got back to our table, the busboy had already cleared our plates. Damn it, and I was looking forward to those home fries. It seemed the fates were conspiring to keep me honest.

Our waitress, however, appeared immediately, topping off TOTWTYTR’s coffee and refilling my water glass. She was still crying, and her hands were shaking like a leaf.

“Hey,” I said softly, nodding toward the EMTs. “Look over there.”

The ALS ambulance had arrived, and they were busy packaging the patient for transport. From fifteen feet away, we could see the steady rise and fall of the woman’s chest. The waitress stared for a moment, and turned her eyes back to us.

“They got her back,” I told her. “Wouldn’t have happened if someone hadn’t had the good sense to call 911 right away.” TOTWTYTR nodded in agreement.

As we gathered our things and made our way to the cashier, it seems everyone wanted to thank us.

The cops shook our hands gratefully.

So did the firemen.

Ditto for the EMTs.

The medic from Robert Wood Johnson made it a point to duck back into the diner and give us an attaboy before she transported.

The manager of the diner refused our money, saying our breakfast was on the house. Diner patrons tugged at my sleeve, wanting to shake my hand before I left.

To be honest, it felt a little weird. And one thing I noticed; no one bothered to heap such praise and gratitude on the people in uniform who were working on her, too. There’s something wrong with that.

But something also tells me the cops, firefighters, EMTs and paramedics don’t much mind. They know that resuscitation is a team sport, and saves are a team victory.

After all, they’re professionals.

Observations on EMS Today

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TOTWTYTR weighs in with his impressions of EMS Today.

I agree with his assessment. My impressions of EMS 2.0 run along the same lines, misgivings I outlined in my wet blanket posts on the movement. None of the ideas espoused in EMS 2.0 are substantially different than the 16-year-old EMS Agenda For the Future.

I can remember 12 years ago, when I was Chris Kaiser or Justin Schorr, and TOTWTYTR was the guy tempering my idealism with a hard dose of reality and perspective.

What is different this time is the social media revolution.

EMS bloggers like Justin Schorr, Chris Kaiser, and others, filmmakers like Ted Setla, and EMS podcasters like Jamie Davis, Chris Montera, Greg Friese, and Ron Davis have recognized the power of social media, and they’ve harnessed it to empower the rank-and-file EMS provider in the process.

The days when the professional committee members could shape EMS policy without input from street providers are becoming a thing of the past. We have a voice now, and its a powerful one.

Now we just need to figure out what we want to say, but that subject is weighty enough to deserve its own blog post.

Other observations on the EMS Today exhibit hall:

  • Therapeutic hypothermia is taking off in a big way. Three or four years ago, when we realized how effective a prehospital treatment CPAP couldbe, we saw an explosion in the number of product offerings to fit the demand. Now, it’s therapeutic hypothermia for post-ROSC patients. I saw at least a dozen more cooling systems than were offered even last year.
  • We’re still taking the wrong approach to airway management, but it’s getting better. Yes, there is an ever-widening array of suproglottic airways, but there is also an ever-widening array of toys, gee-gaws, doodads and expensive video laryngoscopes that supposedly make endotracheal intubation easier…
  • … ignoring, of course, the fact that the problem isn’t so much lack of tools as it is lack of education and practice, and ever-decreasing proof of benefit. And that’s not likely to change as long as we continue to view ourselves as a patch and a skill set.
  • Ambulance design continues to evolve. After EMS Expo, I posted a look at some of those changes. Later this week, I’ll revisit the subject with some of the new stuff I saw at EMS Today 2011.

That’s all the free ice cream I’ve got for right now, folks. Check back soon for a post where I pose the question: “What is EMS – public health, or public safety?”

Nomex Underoos: ON

31 comments

I know the fire service EMS contingent is going to flame me for this, but I always thought EMS had more in common with law enforcement than the fire service.

OLD SAYBROOK – Police Chief Michael Spera would be facing a nearly $30,000 bill for overtime costs in the next few weeks but for officers’ generosity.

Almost every officer is training to become a certified emergency medical technician by taking 90 hours of classes for about two months after their shifts and on days off, without overtime pay.

Those who aren’t participating are already certified.

Think about it; high mobility rather than fixed locations, some degree of personal autonomy within the rank structure, strong communications and interpersonal skills, creative problem solving…

… all these things are part and parcel of EMS, and they seem to describe law enforcement far better than they do fireground operations. Even an interrogation and gathering patient history have a great deal in common.

Combined law enforcement/EMS isn’t a very common system model, but it is done in other places. Gretna, LA has had a dual role law enforcement/EMS system for many years, and I’m sure there are others.

Try as I might, the only negative thing I can say about this idea is that, at only 90 hours, their EMT training is only about half as long as it should be. The 1993 National Standard Curriculum for EMT-B was a minimum of 110 hours, and most schools did more than that. I doubt that implementation of the new National EMS Educational Standards would make the course shorter.

So what say you, readers? Does a law enforcement/EMS model make sense?

On Teaching, Mentoring and Stewardship

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What is a preceptor, exactly?

Of the various definitions found in the dictionary, the one most applicable to us would be, “an expert or specialist, such as a physician, who gives practical experience and training to a student, especially of medicine or nursing.”

That definition fits as well as any, I suppose, but the role of a preceptor cannot be distilled into a one-sentence definition. Much like the Supreme Court’s opinion on pornography, it’s hard to describe, but we know it when we see it.

When a preceptor passes on that “practical experience and training,” there are volumes of tradition, science, art, wisdom and bullshit encompassed in those four little words. The good preceptor passes on the collective wisdom – and sometimes, inadvertently, the bullshit – of our profession to the next generation, and I mean all of it; what EMS was, what EMS is, and what EMS should be.

I’d say “what EMS will be,” but so much of that depends upon how well that preceptor does his job.

If you want to know what a preceptor really does, you have to go back to the root word:

Precept: [pree-sept] -noun

1. a commandment or direction given as a rule of action or conduct.
2. an injunction as to moral conduct; maxim.
3. a procedural directive or rule, as for the performance of some technical operation.
4. a law.

All four definitions are important. All four have direct bearing on our practice as EMTs. They encompass our traditions, our attitudes, and our expectations of proper behavior. They are our professional ethos. The role of the preceptor is to be a steward of our profession, and in so doing, prepare the next generation of EMT’s to be stewards of the profession as well.

So why is it that many preceptors only pay attention to #3?

I suppose it’s only natural that, in a profession dominated by action-oriented, Type A personalities, that many of us feel uncomfortable teaching, for lack of a better word, the “soft skills.” As a long-time member of Louisiana’s training cadre for new EMS instructor candidates, I saw this firsthand.

The vast majority of new EMS instructors feel most comfortable teaching only in the psychomotor domain.

A few gregarious, creative types find themselves well-suited for teaching in the cognitive domain. A few more of the psychomotor types, after gaining confidence in their knowledge and skill set, add the cognitive domain to their repertoire.

But damned few, if any, have any clue how to teach the material most vital to preceptors: the affective domain.

EMT instructors can teach the knowledge and skills, but the preceptor instills the attitude, and we all know that, of all the traits necessary for success in a given profession, a positive attitude is one of the most important.

This is not a failing unique to EMS instructors and preceptors. Academics in all disciplines struggle with teaching attitudes and behavior, and few succeed at it. Those that do are easy to spot. Chances are, you’ve seen them yourself. If you think back on all the teachers you’ve had in your life, I’ll bet you could pick out one or two that had the most positive influence.

In your moments of greatest stress and indecision, whose advice do you crave? Who do you first think of when you want to share the elation of a professional triumph? When you feel beaten and discouraged, whose voice whispers your mental pep talk? Who plants the metaphorical foot in your ass when you need the motivation?

Right now, you’re probably smiling, thinking of just such a person.

Your mentor.

When it comes right down to it, any idiot can earn an EMT card. But there is a big difference between holding a card, and being an EMT. Regulatory agencies and all-too-many EMS systems don’t recognize the difference, but your patients and fellow providers do. Unfortunately, the patients usually only encounter us once. If the crew they encounter is a pair of card holders instead of real EMT’s, guess who is now the representative sample of your profession in that patient’s eyes?

So what was it that helped your mentor mold you from a mere card-holder into an EMT? What magic did they possess, and how might you learn that magic when your turn comes to be a steward of our profession?

Luckily, by learning a few simple principles -  precepts, if you will – of mentoring, you can develop your own technique in molding a card-holder into an EMT. Like watching Penn Gillette explain one of his tricks, you realize it wasn’t really magic after all. The real magic is in how skillfully those techniques are applied:

Be the EMT you expect them to be.

The first rule of teaching in the affective domain is simply to model the proper behavior. Be an example.

Be exemplary.

It’s harder than it sounds. We all have days when we aren’t at our best, when fatigue and frustration whisper in your ear that it really isn’t that important to come to work with your boots shined and your pants pressed. But when you feel it necessary to counsel your trainee that patients don’t trust a paramedic who looks like a friggin’ hobo, it really boosts your credibility not to look like one yourself.

“Do as I say, not as I do,” only works with toddlers, and it doesn’t work that well on them, either. It’s a parent’s way of saying, “My attitude isn’t as important as your obedience,” and don’t think for a second that the toddler – and your trainee – won’t eventually be perceptive enough to make the translation.

Likewise, your attitude toward others is going to have some effect on your trainee. Either they’ll adopt it – wrong or right – or they’ll spot it for the bad attitude it is, and vow never to treat others the way you do.

Congratulations, you’ve become an example. A bad one. Instead of a mentor, you’ve become a cautionary tale.

Every experienced medic has a hundred nursing home horror stories, and most are willing to regale you with them at the drop of a hat. Within each of those stories is a kernel of truth, that nursing home care does leave a lot to be desired, and that’s what makes them so toxic.

It’s easy to belittle a nursing home nurse, because you’ve heard the clueless reports, and you’ve seen the shoddy care with your own eyes. You’ve smelled the aroma of poop, urine and bleach that permeates the halls.

What’s harder is respecting them for the job they do, and how hard it is. Until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes, you might want to rein in the condescension a bit, and teach your trainee instead how to assess and treat his patient under challenging circumstances, with very little information to go on.

You know, like we do every single day outside the nursing home, without bitching and belittling the people who called 911.

And on those days when you aren’t at your best, man up (or woman, as the case may be) and admit it. No one expects their mentor to be perfect, but they should be worthy of respect. Earning that respect means being willing to admit when you’re wrong.

Which reminds me: Hey, Peter Griffin? Next long distance transport is on me, man. Or one Genevieve transport, whichever.

Teach more, evaluate less.

I notice an interesting phenomenon among some of my preceptor colleagues. Some of the most talented medics I know, people who will tirelessly coach, critique and encourage a paramedic student, shift gears into Evaluation Mode whenever they’re precepting a newly certified paramedic. It’s as if they expect the new medic to prove his mettle, the attitude almost, “Show me what ya got, kid.”

The question is, what have they got? What have they proven, other than the ability to successfully negotiate a standardized test designed to weed the minimally competent from the outright dangerous? What do they know this week that they didn’t know last week?

Formal education can give a student the pieces to the patient care puzzle, but it takes a talented preceptor to show them how to put it together. What the new EMT-Basic has taken from the sum total of their classroom and clinical education is a set of instructions along the lines of, “Draw a square, with a triangle on top. Now, in the big square, draw two smaller squares, and a rectangle. On the rectangle, draw a little circle.”

Luckily, he drives better than he draws.

A preceptor translates those instructions into, “Draw me a house.”

None of the shapes change. The skill set is no different. The artist doesn’t need you to draw it for him. He only needs you, his muse mentor, to show him what the picture is supposed to look like.

What he doesn’t need is for his mentor to systematically deconstruct everything he learned in the classroom. None of this, “Well, that may work in the classroom, but this is the way it works on the street,” bullshit. You’re supposed to provide confidence and clarity, not contradiction and character assassination.

The picture isn’t any clearer when the trainee is a newly minted paramedic. Bryan Bledsoe delivered a lecture once on critical thinking, and in it, there was one slide defining the levels of practitioners that really stood out:

Novice practitioner:

*Rigid adherence to taught rules or plans
*Little situational perception (symptom management only)
*No discretionary judgment
Competent practitioner:
*Able to cope with pressure
*Sees actions partly in terms of long-term goals and broader conceptual framework
(disease management)
*Follows standardized and routine procedures
Expert practitioner:
*No longer relies on rules, guidelines or maxims
*Intuitive grasp of situations
*Uses analytic approaches only in novel situations or when problems occur

One might think that paramedic school is what changes a novice practitioner like an EMT-B into an expert, but is that really the case? Does paramedic school actually teach you to think critically, or does it just produce another novice practitioner with a broader skill set?

Actually, rather than teach critical thinking skills, most formal EMS educational programs do just the opposite.

They systematically – either by accident or by design – suppress any innate critical thinking skills the student may have had. What emerges is a practitioner who has faithfully memorized the ACLS algorithms, can recall drug dosages, indications and contraindications at will, and can recite system protocols verbatim. They learn to pass a multiple choice exam, when real life is more on the order of an essay question. They’ve memorized all the rules.

What they don’t know, is how to apply them, or more importantly, when they shouldn’t. Teaching that sort of nuanced thinking is the role of the preceptor. It’s your job to turn them from novices into experts, or at the least, competent practitioners.

More teaching, less evaluating.

Know your trainee.

Past street experience can be both blessing and curse for both the trainee and the preceptor.

Experience is hard to quantify, and the plain truth is, not all experience is good. Every EMT filters a patient presentation through a prism of his past experiences. If they’ve been good experiences, that prism can refract a muddy clinical presentation into a clear diagnostic picture.

If they’ve been bad experiences, well… even the clearest set of symptoms can be hopelessly distorted when seen through the eyes of a trainee who has learned all the wrong things on the street.

When I trained retrievers for a living, I described it as a mental photo album. When your retriever steps to the line in a field trial or duck blind, he’s flipping through a mental photo album of all the past retrieves he’s catalogued, until he finds a picture that matches the scene in front of him. As a handler, it was my job to make sure my retriever was looking at the right picture. The only way to do that is to know the retriever. You have to know his personality, his mannerisms, be able to read his body language.

As a preceptor, it’s an easier task, because your trainee can talk.

And that’s what they should do; talk, talk, talk, and then talk some more. Have them plan possible scenarios on the way to the call. Let them speak first in the post-call critique. Encourage them to ask questions. Let them gather most of the patient history, and only speak when you feel they’re missing something important.

The more they talk, the easier it is to learn their weaknesses and strengths, learn what motivates them, learn what they fear, learn how they process their thoughts. But while they’re talking, keep one thing in mind:

Communicate clearly.

While they’re doing all that talking, don’t sit there silently like the Sphinx. Use Socratic dialogue to guide the conversation. Ask rhetorical questions that begin with “why?” or “why not?” Parse your words carefully, and allow your trainee to arrive at the conclusion on his own. Play devil’s advocate occasionally.

But never, ever just assume that your trainee understands why you do things a certain way. For you, it may be intuitively obvious, a shorthand you’ve worked out through years of experience. For your trainee, it may be incomprehensible, or even worse, wrongly ascribed to a different motivation entirely.

Case in point: My trainee and I treated an elderly patient in the nursing home who had fallen and injured her hip. By the time we had arrived, the staff had already picked her up and put her back in bed. They were busy turning her this way and that, cleaning her where she had soiled herself, changing her diaper, putting her in a fresh gown…

… and I chose not to immobilize her. Despite her medical issues, including early Alzheimer’s, she was a fairly reliable patient. She didn’t know what day it was, but she could clearly relate the circumstances of her fall, and the pain wasn’t so distracting that she couldn’t participate in her own NEXUS exam. She followed all commands appropriately, and focused clearly on my instructions.

Now, rigid adherence to our protocols would necessitate immobilizing this lady. But I’ve spent three years in this system, and I have enough experience with our medical director and the people who QA our reports to know that they are not prone to judge harshly, provided our documentation paints a clear picture of why certain steps were omitted.

To the trainee, the medical director is GOD, perhaps even an unmerciful one, and our protocols may as well be written on stone tablets.

So rather than allow my trainee to attend the patient and document the run, I took over. I had my reasons for doing this, but they weren’t clear to the trainee.

He said as much during the post-call critique, insulted that I didn’t trust him to run a simple hip fracture. Instead of replying, I simply asked him, “Why do you think I didn’t immobilize that lady?”

“Because it’d be a major pain in the ass,” he answered. “The bed was against the wall, you couldn’t get to her to log-roll her properly or hold C-spine alignment…”

Wrong.

I didn’t immobilize her because I judged that the procedure was 1) unnecessary, based on my examination, and b) likely to substantially increase my patient’s pain and discomfort, and c) perhaps even cause harmful sequelae like decubitus ulcers or respiratory decompensation.

I went on to explain to my trainee the difference between experience and expedience. Experience tells you when to omit certain things because it’s easier on your patient. Expedience means you omitted those steps because it’s easier on you, and that is never acceptable.

I also explained to him that, since I made a judgment call that differed with protocol, I chose to shield my trainee from scrutiny by handling the entire call myself.

When I document such a run, it’s an experienced medic using his clinical judgment. Were he the one to submit the electronic report, he’d be seen as a raw rookie making a mistake. Even now, when my judgment is sometimes questioned, I have the knowledge and experience to defend my decisions. My trainee has less ammunition.

View mistakes as teachable moments.

It is human nature to learn more from our mistakes than our successes. As the saying goes, “good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.”

It’s the preceptor’s job to transform those mistakes into learning opportunities, while still ensuring good patient care. Some mistakes -the ones that negatively impact patient care or reinforce bad habits – must be corrected immediately, while others can be identified in the post-call critique. Simply by asking, “What would you have done differently?”you’ll discover that your trainee has often realized his mistake without you having to point it out.

For your example, if your trainee has chosen an IV catheter far too large for the vein he’s identified, you might want to intervene, and have him choose a smaller catheter rather than risk a blown IV and sticking the patient again unnecessarily.

On the other hand, if his venipuncture technique is sound, but you notice that he has placed all of his supplies on his non-dominant side, or out of reach…

… it might be a more valuable lesson to let him futilely try to occlude the vein while he scrambles to hook up the line. Nothing like a good blood stain on your pants leg to teach you to lay out everything within easy reach, is there?

And afterward, while your trainee is changing into a clean uniform, you can smile tolerantly and ask, “So what would you have done differently?” You might even make it another teachable moment, and tell him how to use peroxide and elbow grease to get those blood stains out of his pants.

It’s orientation, not indoctrination.

Part of your job as a preceptor is to familiarize your trainee with your agency’s organizational culture. Every agency has its own way of doing things, and there’s nothing wrong with that. As a preceptor, no doubt you have your own personal style, too.

But just because your trainee does things differently, doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Keep an open mind, and your trainee just may show you a better way of doing things. You’re trying to create a competent practitioner, not a clone of yourself.

Culture constantly evolves, and organizational culture is no exception. The day an agency, no matter how great, refuses to accept outside influence, is the day that agency starts the downhill slide toward mediocrity. As a preceptor, your responsibility to the agency is to consider whether your trainee’s method might have merit, and make suggestions to management accordingly.

If such suggestions are unwelcome, then you’re not orienting, you’re indoctrinating. Cults indoctrinate people, and they do not tolerate independent thought.

As a teacher, a mentor, and a steward of your profession, do you want a cult of protocol monkeys, or would you rather have thinking medics?

Your choice.

For You EMS Types…

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Ambulance Driver In Print!

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Check out January’s EMS World magazine for the first of a series of patient assessment articles by myself and my cohort, Mr. Gene Gandy.

Assessing the Patient With Altered Mental Status.

For You EMS Types…

2 comments

… there’s a new clinical tip for you on EMS1.

If you’ve ever documented AAOx4 on a patient care report or refusal, and felt safe doing it, here’s why you shouldn’t.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

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After much speculation, the American Heart Association released the 2010 ECC Guidelines last week.

And like past versions of the guidelines, there are some good things, and some recommendations that leave one scratching his head, wondering what dark, smelly orifice they pulled that idea from.

This year, it appears that AHA is afraid of the big, bad Nitroglyerin Boogeyman, too.

Either that, or they think that EMS providers are a bunch of booger eating morons incapable of utilizing Nitro safely, but are afraid to just come right out and say it. You’ve already read my view on the subject.

This if my fifth version of the guidelines to teach. I’ve taught and coordinated over 350 ACLS and PALS classes (I quit counting in 2006), a couple dozen instructor courses, and done God only knows how many CPR courses, instructor updates, monitoring and mentoring.

And in those 17 years spent doing this, I have come to believe two things:

1. Despite the stated emphasis on evidence-based medicine (and it strengthens with every new release), some recommendations make it into the guidelines based on no evidence whatsoever.

2. Somewhere in a dark basement at AHA headquarters, there is a little troll named Melvin whose job is to write stupid test questions and come up with ludicrous recommendations. Melvin wrote the test questions about Milrinone for the PALS course, and the oxyhemoglobin dissociation curve a couple of ACLS versions ago, and the Grand Prize Winner of stupid questions, whose correct answer required that providers turn off all oxygen delivery devices before defibrillating.

Just because you see something in an ACLS book doesn’t necessarily make it valid, folks.

What Comes First, the Nitro or the IV?

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In comments to my last EMS Newbie post, reader 40Lizard commented on the discussion Ron Davis and I had on this episode of Confessions of an EMS Newbie:

Funny you should mention starting an IV before giving NTG- we’ve been having that discussion in class this week- and the general consensus is that unless we are SuperMedic and can have divine intuition on how the pt is going to react to the NTG- we’d better have a line in place before giving it! :)

Um, no offense to you, 40Lizard, but… horse shit.

Allow me to tell you a little tale about a patient I had some years back. We were called to the local nursing home for a patient with respiratory distress. We get there, and find a lady who weighs about three hundred pounds, parked on a chair in front of the air conditioner, oxygen mask strapped to her face at – unusual for a nursing home – an appropriate flow rate of 8 liters per minute.

Now, the lady has really exaggerated air hunger, and from across the room she sounded like a washing machine with the top left open. She’s diaphoretic as hell, and I don’t know who had the more desperate look on her face; the patient, or the LPN attending her.

Now, for you experienced medics out there, this presentation is probably just screaming “CHF! CHF!” in big red, flashing letters, and you’d be right. That’s exactly what was wrong.

She had decided to celebrate her recent discharge from the hospital (for CHF exacerbation, oddly enough), by treating herself to a pound of salted pistachios.

Obviously, this did not prove to be a good idea.

Her heart rate was 140, blood pressure 240/120, and respirations of 40, all with an oxygen saturation of 78% on 8 LPM oxygen. She was obviously tiring, and had that, “I’m about to pass out and you’re going to be picking my large butt off the floor” look about her, so the first thing I did was get her on our cot.

My partner, being the quick-thinking type, was already setting me up an albuterol nebulizer. Unfortunately, she was quickly thing the wrong things, but she can’t really be faulted for doing what she was taught. Lots of EMTs (and nurses and ER docs, I might add) think that albuterol cures all respiratory ailments.

I shook my head and ordered, “Nitro.”

She gave me a quizzical look, but gave me the spray bottle of Nitro anyway. The nurse gave me a nervous look and said, “Um, she hasn’t complained of chest pain…”

I ignored them both, lifted the lady’s face mask and told her to lift her tongue… and promptly delivered a triple squirt of sublingual nitroglycerin spray.

Both the LPN and my partner nearly fainted dead away. But they recovered, and managed to help me load the patient in the rig. I repeated that triple dose of Nitro three more times on the way to the ED. After the last dose, I noticed was getting close to our destination, and decided an IV might be in order, you know, to keep the nurses happy. So I managed to get a 22 gauge in her hand (and it pains me to admit I stuck something that small), and I was still taping it down when my partner opened the rear doors of the rig.

Inside, the receiving ER doc turned out to be none other than our service medical director, a man with whom I’ve taught many an ACLS class. We’ve got that whole absolute trust thing going on, but it really wouldn’t have mattered if it had been another doctor.

So I give him the basic rundown, “CHFer, just got out of the hospital today, celebrated by eating a big salty bag of pistachios. Looks like flash pulmonary edema. Initial BP was 240/120 and sat was 78% on 8 liters, but I’ve been hitting her with the Nitro all the way in, and her BP is down to 160/90, and her sats are 100% now. Breathing a lot easier, too.”

“Any Lasix?” he wanted to know.

“Nope,” I shook my head, “didn’t figure it was a priority, and I just got my line as we pulled up anyway.”

“I agree,” he nodded. “How much Nitro did you give her?”

And that’s when I hesitated.

“Um,” I hedged, “how much Nitro did I give her, or how many times did I give her Nitro?”

He cocked an eyebrow at me quizzically, put on his Medical Director Face, and said, “How about you tell me both.”

So I swallowed hard, and admitted, “I gave her four rounds of Nitro… 1.2 mg at a time.”

He kept that same quizzical expression on his face and said, “You know that’s not in the protocol. And you felt comfortable triple-dosing her with Nitro, without an IV?”

Oh well, if I go down, might as well go down swinging.

“Very comfortable,” I affirmed. “She didn’t need Lasix or fluids, she needed vasodilation. And if a certain medical director I know would push the company to adopt a CPAP protocol, she’d have had that, too.”

He laughed and said, “Well, she’ll have BiPAP as soon as respiratory gets down here, and if that medical director had any pull with the corporate bean counters, a certain ‘I’d rather beg for forgiveness than ask for permission’ medic I know would have had it to play with. Now get your ass back to work.”

**********

The previous anecdote was merely intended to demonstrate that, indeed, lots of Nitro can be safely administered without an IV, and you need not be Supermedic to know when it can be done. All you need do is assess your patient.

I know of medics who devoutly believe that an EMT-B should never assist a patient in taking prescribed nitroglycerin tablets. I don’t know if it’s just protecting medic turf or some baseless superstition about precipitously dropping BP with one or two doses of Nitro, but it’s probably a little of both. And it’s just as wrong as the notion that EMS personnel should never administer more than three doses of Nitro before consulting with medical control.

First of all, the three dose limit on Nitro is something that cardiologists instruct their patients. It doesn’t apply to us. It is simply a trigger for calling 911, in the event that the patient’s chest pain turns out to be more than stable angina.

The end point of Nitro dosing for EMS personnel should be relief of symptoms, or a systolic BP approaching 90 systolic. Period. That applies whether you’re an EMT-B assisting a patient with their Nitro, or a medic administering it yourself. And honestly, if you’re a medic, you probably still need to be giving it to your MI patients, even if you’ve achieved adequate pain relief with opiates. I know the Mayo Clinic studies suggest that Nitro mainly makes us feel better, not the patient, but they are not yet the standard of care.

Secondly, cardiologists apparently believe it is safe to prescribe to their patients who presumably will not have an IV when they take it. Heck, it’s rare enough that they even know their blood pressure before that pop that little white pill under their tongue.

The only time you need be concerned with obtaining an IV before you give Nitro is when the BP is low or borderline, or the patient is suffering from a right ventricular infarction.

A 12-lead EKG takes about 30 seconds to obtain. If it indicates an inferior wall infarction, do a 15-lead EKG (or a second 12-lead with lead V4R). That’s another 30 seconds to determine if your patient is having an RVI or not. If that happens to be the case, you might need to start an IV before you administer Nitro.

I emphasize the word might, because RVI is not an absolute guarantee of preload dependency. If the patient is truly preload dependent, and thus prone to a precipitous drop in BP from relatively small doses of vasodilators like Nitro, there will generally be other clinical signs that point to that fact.

Look for things like orthostatic weakness, syncope or hypotension, and look for Kussmaul’s Sign.

Normally, when you see significant jugular venous distension in a heart patient, you’d expect to hear wet lungs to some degree. Also, JVD usually decreases with the negative intrathoracic pressure of inspiration.

The jugular venous distension in Kussmaul’s Sign does just the opposite: it worsens (or stays the same) with inspiration, and it’s usually present with dry lungs. This is a hallmark sign of impaired reight ventricular filling, and a big clue that vasodilation with Nitro may result in you having your patient flat on his back with his legs in the air, cursing the fact that you didn’t get an IV while they still had a blood pressure.

But it doesn’t take Supermedic to figure that out, it just takes assessing your patient. And it ain’t really all that common anyway.

There’s a Time For Orthostatic Vital Signs…

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… and there’s a time for common freakin’ sense.

I know paramedics who can tell you chapter and verse about their patients, and hand off a thoroughly assessed, neatly packaged, NEARLY DEAD patient. There’s a time and place for a thorough history and physical exam.

That time and place is not when your patient is circling the drain.

The ambulance has wheels for a reason, people.

Sparky.

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My partner is a constant source of amusement, every shift. The kid is quite possibly the sparkiest EMT ever. And if I could teach him to engage his internal censor when the calls turn out to be less than the fun and excitement he envisioned, he’d be just about perfect.

Tonight, Kelso got the sort of shift he has always wanted: shootings, codes, overdoses, respiratory arrests, grisly trauma… you name it, we’ve had it this shift.

Our first call of the evening was a shooting well out in the sticks, and we wound up flying the patient to the trauma center. The call had everything a little adrenaline junkie needs: two medics and half a dozen firefighters acting out a tightly choreographed resuscitation ballet, and for a change, a patient sick enough that his survival may very well have hinged on speed and the skill of the people treating him. And Kelso was right up in the middle of it getting his hands bloody, a goofy grin plastered on his face.

In other words, one of those calls where all your training actually matters.

The flight medic pushed the paralytics while I got the tube, we decompressed his chest, packaged the guy and hustled him to the bird. When the flight medic asked Kelso to ride in with him, I thought the kid was going to piddle himself.

“Go get in the bird, hero,” I chuckled. “I’ll clean up here and pick you up at the ED in a few minutes.”

I swear, if the kid had a tail, right now it would be wagging hard enough to generate a breeze.

Heeeeyyyy, Nice Veins!

10 comments

For you EMS types, there’s a new clinical tip on EMS1.

Remember, ladies, if the paramedic you just met won’t look you in the eyes when he talks, he’s not ogling your boobs.

He’s ogling your neck.

Hemi-Inattention

15 comments

Many medics do not realize that the Cincinnati Stroke Scale or Los Angeles Prehospital Stroke Screen are only reliable at identifying a hemispheric stroke. They can usually identify paralysis or weakness on one side of the body or another, but aren’t really geared towards identifying stroke of the brainstem, cerebellum, or intracranial hemorrhage.

To do that, you have to check for limb ataxia, visual field deficits, and deficits in extraocular movements.

But one phenomenon that never ceases to amaze me is non-dominant hemisphere syndrome. For around 85% of the population, the left hemisphere of your brain is the dominant one. Southpaws have a dominant right hemisphere.

And when a right-hander strokes out the right, non-dominant hemisphere of their brain, often the left-sided paralysis is accompanied by a total lack of awareness that anything is wrong.

Weird, that.

I’ve had a couple of patients over the years that I had to force to go to the hospital, so deep was their denial. One sweet little old lady was so certain that nothing was wrong with her that she insisted that the frail, flaccid black arm I was holding up before her eyes was my arm.

The guy I ran just a little while ago wasn’t quite that bad, but it still never fails to weird me out when I have to point out to someone that one entire side of their body has stopped working.

For you EMS Types…

3 comments

… there’s a new column up on EMS1.

A snippet:

All of this demonstrates two ugly facts about EMS that I suspect have been true since Jesus Christ performed the first successful resuscitation: everyone is an expert about someone else’s call, and EMTs eat their own kind.

Read, enjoy, comment!

EKG Geekery

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TOTWTYTR posts an EKG and case history for that most elusive  of creatures, Brugada Syndrome caught in the wild.

Very cool when you can very possibly save a life by using your brain, and not your hands. Those are the kind of EMS calls I love.

Anytime. Anywhere. We’ll Be There.

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“Thank you so much for coming, young man,”  the old woman tells me, for the fourth time this call. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.” Her voice is frail, querulous. She seems grateful and apologetic at the same time.

“It’s no problem, Ma’am,”  I assure her with a warm smile. “This is what we do.”

“It’s just that he’s so heavy,” she explains, yet again. “I can barely move him, and when his legs give out, he just…” her voice trails off helplessly.

“He’s a big man,” I agree. “You need some help with him, that’s for sure.”

I don’t make the usual suggestions. He has a home health nurse, but she can’t be here 24 hours a day, and they can’t afford a sitter. There were two children, and they’ve outlived them both. I know this, because this isn’t my first call at this address.

Nor is it even my tenth.

We come here once or twice a week, to this small frame house on the north end of town, an impossibly neat and tidy oasis of better times in this wasteland of crack houses and urban blight. They built here, sixty years ago, back when this was a nice place to live. Back then, they left their doors unlocked, and knew every one of their neighbors.

Now, there are bars on the windows and doors, and they live in fear of their neighbors. But they are still together after sixty-plus years, and they will not be separated, nor will they live elsewhere. This is their home. Nothing will separate them.

Not even a stroke.

And so now her days are spent caring for her husband and this house, his strength but a shadow of what it once was. The house shows the lack of a man’s touch for the past eighteen months. The interior is still immaculate, the flower beds carefully tended, but the yard is thick with unmowed grass and the cheery yellow paint is peeling.

She needs help. She’s much too frail to manage Frank alone. She’d struggle with a man his size even if she were still the dark-haired girl of twenty in the wedding photo in their foyer. Her husband needs to be in a nursing home.

But that would mean being apart. When you’re eighty, the only thing you fear more than the loss of your independence is being separated from the spouse you’ve slept beside for the past sixty years.

And so here she remains, at his side, and every few days she will be unable to lift him from his chair, and Frank will slide gently to the floor, there to remain until the EMTs pick him up. He’s never injured when we do these calls — he never has anything resembling an emergent complaint.

“Okay, Mr. Hildwine,” I smile reassuringly as my partner and I grasp his hands, “let’s get you off the floor and back into bed, shall we?”

His left hand rises to meet mine, the grip still strong, but the right remains uselessly at his side. His eyes are still sharp and clear, and in them, gratitude wars with frustration at his helplessness. My partner and I gently lift, and pull Frank Hildwine to a standing position. We stand there for a moment, waiting for him to regain his equilibrium, hovering just a touch away should his right leg betray him yet again. We hold his arms as he haltingly makes the five steps to his hospital bed, and we tuck him under the covers when we’re done.

“Here, take this,” his wife says gratefully, thrusting a crumpled twenty into my palm, just as she has done every other time we’ve come here.

I shake my head gently and place the bill back into her palm, clasping my hand over her clenched fist. “That’s not necessary, Mrs. Hildwine,” I say. “There’s no charge.”

“Violet,” she corrects automatically. “I’ve told you to call me Violet. And you can’t keep coming out here and not expect to be paid!”

“Yes we can,” I say with a wink, “and if I call you ‘Violet’ instead of ‘Mrs Hildwine’, my Grandma would rise out of the ground and git me.”

“But, but…” she splutters. “You young men are here several times a week, and I know you have sick people to take care of. This is not what I should be calling 911 for, but I just don’t know what else to do. Please, let me offer you something.”

I consider that for a moment. She’s right, this is not what we were trained for. There is no emergent medical complaint, never enough trauma to warrant any treatment. Frank and Violet Hildwine do not need the services of a paramedic.

Then again, I believe there is honor in the implicit compact; someone calls 911, an ambulance comes. Always. Who am I to say what form my help should take when I arrive?

“Very well, Mrs. Hildwine,” I sigh. “The going rate for helping your husband off the floor is a couple of those oatmeal cookies I saw on your kitchen counter. One for me, and one for my partner.”

As she ushers us outside, cookies in hand, she apologizes again for calling. “I’m so sorry I had to trouble you again for this. I know you have more important things to do.”

“No Ma’am,” I tell her firmly as I take another bite of cookie. “You need us, you call. Anytime, any where, we’ll be there.”

To celebrate EMS Week, EMS1 is holding a contest. The theme of EMS Week 2010 is “Anytime. Anywhere. We’ll be there.”

Be it a short story of 500 words or less like the one above, a poem, a photo or a video with a 50 word caption, we want to hear of the time you were there. Click here and enter now! Deadline is May 16.

I won’t be entering the contest, but I’ll be on the judging panel, so I’m calling out all my EMS peeps and fellow bloggers. Epijunky, Lt. Michael Morse, Ckemtp, Happy Medic, Medic 999, Medic Scribe and all the rest of you… send us your stories!

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

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Overheard over the radio:

Dispatch Drone: “Medic XXX, we need you to respond to #1 Kiloton Way on a lift assist. We’ve got Medic YYY en route to back you up.

Reluctant Medic: “10-4, do you need us to go lights and sirens?”

Dispatch Drone: “Negative, Medic XXX. It’s just a lift assist on a bariatric patient who needs help getting back into bed.”

Reluctant Medic (being deliberately obtuse): “So, are we expected to transport this patient to the hospital?”

Dispatch Drone (speaking very slowly, with small words): “Negative, Medic XXX. The. Patient. Just. Needs. Help. Off. The. Floor.”

Reluctant Medic (feigning confusion): “So, do we need a signature page, or do we write it up as a refusal?”

[long pause]

Dispatch Drone (with a certain amount of satisfaction): “Write it up as a refusal, Medic XXX.”

If she’d have kept her mouth shut, there would have been no paperwork involved. Now, she gets to document a refusal, which counts as a black mark on her performance scores.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes!

For You EMS Types

3 comments

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

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What’s in a name?

Everything, apparently.

Over at the JEMS Magazine Facebook page, they apparently link to my posts fairly frequently. And whenever they do, the indignant remarks about the title of my blog usually far outnumber the reasoned comments about the content therein.

Every post, without fail, there’s an avalanche of “ZOMG! I went to school  for [insert length of curriculum here] to learn how to do questionably beneficial stuff without really knowing why, and I didn’t give up a rewarding career in the fast food service industry just to be called an AMBULANCE DRIVER! You suck, JEMS!”

Yeah, and Dr. Evil didn’t go to evil medical school for 12 years just to be called Mister Evil, either.

Rarely do I see any of these comments here, so my guess is that the commenters never read any further than the title of the blog. In fact, they usually direct their righteous indignation toward JEMS and not me, thus confirming their precarious hold on the lower rungs of the reading comprehension ladder.

Evidently, there’s a good reason most publishers write their EMT textbooks at the 8-10th grade reading levels. To such an audience, a lengthy discourse in the use of satire in my blog title is an exercise in futility.

Likewise, explaining to people why a paramedic blogs about guns, politics, and fatherhood just demonstrates that some people can’t grasp that the title of my blog is “A Day In the Life of an Ambulance Driver.”

Not all of my days involve thwarting natural selection on my ambulance. Sometimes, those days involve shooting. Or musing about politics. Or camping with my kid. Or hanging out with my tribe at blogger shoots and EMS conferences. Or shooting off my mouth about whatever the hell I please, when it comes right down to it.

In the first couple of years of this blog, I got quite a few private e-mails questioning my choice of blog titles. Invariably, they’d start by saying how much they liked what I had written, how entertaining or inspirational or educational they found my blog, but…

BUT.

“AD, you’re an experienced paramedic,” they’d chide. “Surely you understand our struggle to be recognized as a true healthcare profession! How can you, of all people, call yourself an ambulance driver? It’s demeaning and disrespectful!”

To those people, my response is usually, “Splintered wood and mineral fragments may rupture my skeletal structure, but nomenclature does not impair me.”

Because, you know, we also have to use highfalutin’ language in order to be taken seriously.

Once upon a time, I was one of those medics who used to bristle at being called an “ambulance driver.” With the nurses, I’d usually respond with “ass wiper.” If it was a respiratory therapist, I’d call them “snot jockey.”  Cops were “donut receptacles.” Non-EMS firefighters were “hose monkeys.

If it was a doc, I’d ask what it was like to be practicing medicine when penicillin was discovered.

“Ambulance driver!” I’d chortle with exaggerated mirth. “Good one, Doc! So tell me, what was Galen really like in medical school?”

And all those snappy comebacks only succeeded in making me look like an insecure ass.

I no longer correct people when they call me an ambulance driver, for the same reason I don’t sign my name Kelly Grayson, AAS, NREMT-P, CCEMT-P, ACLS RF, PALS RF, BLS TCF, EMS I/C, Farmedic I, NREMT QA, BEMS QIM, AMLS I, GEMS I, PEPP I, PHTLS I, NRP, HMFIC, BMOC, AEIOU and sometimes Y, recipient of Mrs. Sanders’ 3rd grade gold star award for an especially spiffy crayon drawing of a duck, author, columnist, raconteur, studmuffin:

Because to laypeople, all of those things are meaningless designations, and to the people whose opinions matter, it only makes me look like an officious ass with the occupational equivalent of Little Man’s Syndrome.

If you’re an EMT, be you a sparky, inexperienced rookie or a grizzled veteran, who gets all butt hurt about being called an ambulance driver, consider this:

Respect can never be demanded, only earned.

90% of the patients who call you an ammalance drivah do so for one reason and one reason only – because you do indeed drive the big horizontal taxi. If they’re the type to call you for a hangnail in the wee hours of the morning, or fake abdominal pain to get a free pregnancy test at the ER, they’re not interested in your capabilities.

They want a ride, period. You’re it.

The other 10% of your patients are pretty easy to spot, because they usually preface their chief complaint with some variation of “I feel so silly for calling y’all, but I just didn’t know what else to do.”

Those people may well represent a teachable moment, an opportunity to teach the public about our capabilities. And when that moment arises, their education would be better served by couching your words in gentle humility, and letting your actions demonstrate your skills and professionalism.

Offer them a blanket if they’re cold. Take a few extra seconds to fetch a pillow. Treat their MI with calm competence. Gently coach them through their anxiety attack. Administer what you can to relieve their pain. Sit beside them and hold their hand if they’re scared. Be solicitous to their worried loved ones.

Rather than shout, “You must respect mah authoritah!” like Eric Cartman, instead strive to be the island of calm in the sea of turmoil. People respect that, and will naturally look to you for leadership.

In short, be a professional caregiver, with emphasis on the care.

Believe me, they’ll come to see you as far more than just an ambulance driver.

And if you demonstrate with your medical care that you are indeed a professional worthy of respect, the other medical professionals will treat you that way, regardless of the patch on your shoulder or the number of initials after your name.

If people who should know better still call you an ambulance driver, it is because they choose to remain ignorant or disdainful. Arguing with such assholes only gives them the power to make you look like an asshole, too.

And really, why should the opinion of someone like that matter to you anyway?


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