Monthly Archives: May 2013

Memorial Day

Monday is Memorial Day. Most of us will spend the weekend grilling burgers and visiting with relatives, or lounging on a beach somewhere, or watching a baseball game in an opulent stadium, overpriced beer and hot dog in hand. And most of us will have forgotten the meaning of the day. So when you partake in your Memorial Day festivities ...

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They Laughed, They Cried…

… they held their lighters aloft and swayed rhythmically. A few women threw their panties on the stage. You know, the usual. Seriously, though, thanks to the guys from Lake Land College and Sarah Bush Lincoln EMS for inviting me to speak, and thanks to everyone who attended. And thanks especially to my hosts, Steve and Shirley Sherwood. You guys ...

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Happy EMS Week

In 1974, President Gerald Ford signed the original proclamation declaring November 3-10 as National EMS Week. The official week jumped around a lot in the beginning; first in November, then in September, finally settling for the 3rd week of May back in 1992. This year's proclamation reads:   In every corner of our country, emergency medical services (EMS) practitioners are ...

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Calling All Parents of Special Needs Children

I'm putting together a new conference presentation on Children With Special Healthcare Needs, and I figured I'd do a little crowdsourcing to get the parents' perspective on EMS care for their children. Specificially, what I'd like to know is: What is your child's medical history? What, in your view, are your biggest concerns for providing EMS care for your child? ...

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Leavin’ On A Jet Plane

Headed to Mattoon, IL for a speaking engagement on Monday. The folks at Lake Land College and Sarah Bush Lincoln Hospital EMS are having me speak at their EMS banquet Monday night at 6:00 pm. And apparently, my host this weekend will be providing the Four B's: Boating, Beer, Burgers and Brats. Yeah, it's a tough life I live. CEU ...

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Here I Come, Illinois!

For you Illinois EMS types (and anyone else), I'll be in Mattoon, IL to kick off EMS Week. I'll be giving a (hopefully) humorous and inspirational talk hosted by the nice folks at Lake Land College at 6:00 pm, May 20. Admission is free, and CEU credits will be awarded! Spread the word to your agencies, friends and colleagues! Be ...

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For You EMS Types…

… Gene Gandy and I have a new article in EMS World Magazine. Gotta give props to Gene, who did most of the heavy lifting in this one. Gene Gandy and Ambulance Driver, deconstructing EMS one myth at a time…

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For Mother’s Day…

… a repost for you. And if you can hear me, Mom, have a happy Mother's Day. ********** A Love Song For Joyce   There are few things more dismal than an ICU waiting room. People gather in familial clusters, keeping vigil against the specter of death. Books and blankets abound, snacks and cups of stale coffee cluster on tastefully ...

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Overheard On The Bolance

AD (reading directly from dispatch notes on our data terminal): “Patient is a 34-year-old female who swallowed a handful of Flintstones vitamins, and now feels as if some of them are stuck in her throat.” Partner: “How ironic it would be to choke to death on vitamins…” AD (continuing): “Patient states she is no longer choking but her throat is ...

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Overheard On The Bolance

Gas station clerk: “He’s drunk, and trespassing. When I asked him to leave, he made like he was going to sit on one of the concrete pump barriers, pretended to fall off of it, and now he won’t stop screaming.” AD: “What’s your name, sir?” Patient:“AAAUGH! AAAARGH! WOOOO! GAWD HAVE MERCY!” AD: “Luther, is that you?” Patient (nodding) “WAAUGH! LAWDY ...

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Overheard At The NRA Annual Meeting

Vendor: “The Blastomatic 3000 is the ultimate solution to your tactical needs. It is ideally suited to take down a knife-wielding mugger at bad breath distance or a Hadji at 1000 yards. It slices, it dices, and it’s made from 100% distilled hippie tears. Ambulance Driver: “What’s the chance of me getting one for T&A for a month or so?” ...

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Notes From The NRA Annual Meeting

Conservative estimates of roughly 70,000 attendees, and 620 vendors. Attendee count may be as high as 100,000. Our President would have us believe that 90% of Americans support expanding background checks, yet only five people could be found to stage an anti-gun protest. Seriously, they were well outnumbered by the press filming and interviewing them, and the small gaggle of ...

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