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Verbatim From The Call Notes

3 comments

On a recent call to which EMS was dispatched:

“Caller told 911 there is a female sleeping in his garage, but he is too scared to go see if she is breathing.”

EMS is lak a bawx o’ chawklits. Yew nevah know what yew gonna git…

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Posted by on September 25, 2012 • Filed under: Uncategorized
  • Too Old To Work

    Have you ever considered that all we have accomplished in EMS is to thwart natural selection and allow stupid beings to live and reproduce?

    I have.

  • BH

    I’m trying really, really hard, but I still can’t come up with a medical emergency here.

  • Matt Landry

    Possible reasons:

    1. He hasn’t a clue who she is, is afraid she’s dead, and doesn’t want to get his fingerprints all over her, in case the cops decide he probably killed her.
    (1a. He’s responsible for her condition, is afraid he killed her, and is trying to get a record established that makes him sound like an innocent bystander.)
    2. He’s married to (or at least in a persistent sexual relationship with) another woman, and doesn’t want said other woman to get the impression he knows who this sleeping/unconscious/dead chick is. For the purposes of EMS, the truth of that particular assertion is probably unimportant. (His ability to convince his wife or girlfriend of it, on the other hand, may bear significantly on the odds of another EMS visit to the household in the near future.)

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