Skip to content


Dear Dyspneic Dude

12 comments

I realize that the inability to catch your breath is a horrible feeling.

I'm equally aware that such a feeling may lead one to be, shall we say, less than polite to the responders he has summoned in his hour of need.

It's okay, harsh language doesn't really bother me. And really, you've never even met my mother, so I take anything you say about her with a grain of salt, anyway.

Besides, I'm used to it. You've called me a lot worse, as recently as last week.

Or the week before, or the week before that.

And I can sympathize how maddening it can be to make such frequent trips to the ED. It seems an insurmountable task sometimes, getting a handle on your chronic disease process.

It requires a team approach to move from just treating the symptoms of your emphysema to actually managing it.

Think of your primary care physician as the coach, the guy who devises the game plan.

Those nice folks in the ED and we in EMS, we're the offense and special teams. Our role is to move the ball – that's you – as efficiently as possible toward the goal line of homeostasis and some semblance of health.

Your job, as the ball patient, is simply to follow the directions of your PCP and the rest of your health care team. Simply try to be a good patient, and take responsibility for your own health.

And the first step along that path might be to stop using your crack pipe as an incentive spirometer.

Consider that a Wellness Protip from your friendly neighborhood Ambulance Driver.

  • Lynda Otvos

    Un-farking-believable how tight the grasp of addiction. Sad. Why do we not have rehab programs to treat these individuals. Damn this medical system.

  • Ambulance_Driver

    First, you have to want to break the addiction.

    I doubt this guy did.

    Kelly Grayson

  • Geoffrey Horning

    I thought crack had the off label properties of being a Bronchodilator and smooth muscle relaxant?  You mean it doesn’t?   Weird…

  • Kristopher

    Suicide should be legal.

    Give him his bag of crack, and let him crawl back into the gutter.

  • Kristopher

     Would you force everyone on the planet to wear a nerf suit? The reason some folks are in the gutter is because they belong there.

  • ThePlaidTrunk

    Maybe he thought it was albuterol? lol Thanks for the laugh!

  • BH

     Yeah, damn this medical system where we can’t force people to get help.  Unless you think we should be able to do that, which puts you into another category of scary altogether. 

    Ps- have you never seen or heard of a drug rehab program, ever?  I an think of almost a dozen methadone clinics, for example, within 20 minutes of where I sit.  Every one of them runs outpatient counseling, group sessions, etc.  There’s another half-dozen inpatient programs, maybe more. 

    Methinks you just need to look around a little more.  Or, at all. 

  • L. Z.

    Let me guess….could this person be on Medicare/medicaid?  Are we, as loyal taxpayers, the people who are bearing the brunt of his constant hospitalizations?

    And we wonder why our ER’s are so filled to the brim, waiting times lasting hours.

    Sick.  Just sick.

  • Ted

    OK, we’ve accounted for offense, defense, special teams, and the ball.  Who is the defense?  And the kicker?

    Does that mean that administrators are the referees?

  • Ambulance_Driver

    Defense is the public health and occupational medicine folks, and the kicker is the discharge coordinator at the hospital. ;)

  • Ambulance_Driver

    And the administrators are those drunken fans in the stands, bodies painted, shirtless in January. ;)

  • http://cynicalpharmacist.blogspot.com The Cynical Pharmacist

    “Your job, as the ball patient, is simply to follow the
    directions of your PCP and the rest of your health care team. Simply try
    to be a good patient, and take responsibility for your own health.”

    Amen brother.


Vote for me! Click Here

Polarized sunglasses, Flashlights, and Hiking boots.