Parish Fair Protips For 40+ Dads

Ferris Wheels and kilts are a bad combination, especially for the folks standing directly in front of the Ferris Wheel.
Do not get on the Tilt A Whirl with your daughter after eating a corndog and fried shrimp on a stick.
Do not get on the Tilt A Whirl while wearing a kilt.
In fact, just say no to the damned Tilt A Whirl altogether.

Making puke faces at the ride operator does not inspire mercy in said ride operator. In fact, I think he sped up and gave us extra time, just to see if he could make me spew. The unkindest cut of all for a former roller coaster junkie is being told by your eight-year-old daughter, "I wanna ride it again, Daddy. But if you don't think you can handle it, I'll ride by myself and you can watch me."

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 17, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, KatyBeth, Kilted to Kick Cancer

Anonymous

Hey, I’ll ride any roller coaster you put in front of me as many times as I can until they throw me out of the park. But one ride on a tilt-a-whirl was enough for a lifetime…you’d need a gun to get me on another of _those_ things. Totally, totally different.
Anonymous

Same for me!

Roller coasters I can handle, and enjoy. But if you put me on those teacup kiddie rides, or the swings… I’ll spew like a can of warm beer.

Ambulance Driver

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Anonymous

Oops… Multiple ways…
Michellecomeslast

We called it the vom-i-tron when we were kids. As for the skirt (girl pr tip) if you wear to an amusement park wear one a little longer so you can tuck it under a leg. That is, tuck under one leg medially, to prevent wardrobe malfunctions.
Snigs

The first husband “convinced” me to get on the tilt-a-whirl after eating a carnival sausage dog (I’m pretty sure it was dachshund, marinated 6 years in grease). I begged that carnie to stop and I got a 3 toothed grin and watched the Sweet Ol’ Boy crank it on up. Exiting the ride, I promptly blew massive chunks on him as he opened the cage.

Most rewarding barf in.my.life.