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It’s As Good As Real Elvish Rope, It Is!

You outdoorsy types are probably familiar with the utility of 550 paracord. It's strong, with a breaking strength of 550 pounds, lightweight, and mildew and rot-proof. Whether it be camping, home repair, hunting, or the zombie apocalypse, you can pretty much always find a need for good strong rope. I've used it as clothesline, to hang a hammock, tow a jet ski, anchor a boat, make tent repairs, as an improvised gun sling, used it to wrap the haft of knives, hiking and wading poles, decoy line, braided whistle lanyards and keychains with it…

… pretty much everything but truss up a dead body in a roll of carpet with it. But hey, if I ever wake up in Vegas next to a dead hooker, with no recollection of how she got there, all I'll need is the carpet, because I carry 100 feet of 550 paracord in the toolbox of my truck. Not that I'm saying I would wrap a dead hooker in a carpet, mind you, but with 550 paracord, I could if I had to, you know, if I were framed by that malevolent cabal of paramedics who hate my blog name and I had to hide the body until I could track down the Real Killer, and…

… okay, let's just forget the whole dead hooker analogy. Now, where was I?

Oh yeah, paracord! Aside from being the modern equivalent of real Elvish rope, it also makes a dandy fashion accessory:

That's a light green/camo paracord bracelet made by my buddy Ordo at Paracord Ord. He'll make you a custom paracord bracelet for $10, in up to 3 colors, in a variety of designs. He does some really purty work, too:

I liked mine so much, I ordered four more for myself, and I'll be ordering more as gifts for friends. Ordo's bracelets get the official Ambulance Driver Seal of Approval.

Go check out his site and order some for yourself!

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 30, 2011 • Filed under: Product Reviews • Tagged: paracord bracelets

Random Kilted Pic Of The Day

Someone is being a little camera shy today…

Since the nice lady at the grocery store was curious enough to ask about the kilt, I asked her to snap a pic after I told her why I was wearing it. She pressed $20 into my hand for cancer research, despite my protests, and favored her husband with a withering glare and said, "See? I told you that you should stop putting it off. One in six men get prostate cancer!"

So, I have another $20 to add to my PCF total, and another guy is probably going to go get his junk checked soon. I score that as a double win.

Speaking of wins, Jay G., Caleb and I are all hotly contesting the fundraising challenge, with DiverMedic lurking just back of the pack, ready to make his finishing kick. Now, I made a side bet with DiverMedic and Jay G. a while back, and finishing behind either of them would score me an extra helping of humiliation.

Don't let that happen, folks. Donate to Prostate Cancer Foundation or LiveStrong today. A $40 or greater donation gets you a signed book by Yours Truly. All you have to do is forward me your confirmation number or email.

I've got 8 books left, so get yours now!

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 29, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer

Spinal Immobilization: The Conclusion

In my post on spinal immobilization, I asked if any of you would collar and board an elderly patient (24 hours post-injury) with clear radiographic evidence of a comminuted C1 fracture and cervical spine tenderness, but no neurological deficits.

And to my overwhelming delight, few of you said yes. I think there is a clear difference here between doing what is in the protocol, and doing what is best for the patient, and most of you recognized that. Some of you work in systems that allow such judgment calls, and a healthy number of you mentioned contacting medical control for permission to deviate from protocol in this instance.

I tried that myself.

Problem was, I was unlucky enough to get the one ~~arrogant horse's ass~~ doctor on the phone who doesn't like giving orders to paramedics. His words to me were, as close as I can remember them, "You do what you feel you must do, but understand that I haven't examined this patient. I only know what you're telling me."

In other words, if something bad happens, he's going to do his best to duck any responsibility for it, placing all blame on my shoulders.

Rather than give him a primer on the "hold harmless" clause written into most state EMS legislation that makes online medical control possible, I politely thanked him for his time and hung up the phone. Why argue with someone who is unclear on this whole "physician extender" concept? I mean, we're taught from Day One that we are the eyes and ears of the Emergency Department physician in the field, and if he doesn't trust any assessment not done with his own eyes and hands, it's pretty much useless to ask such a man for orders beyond "monitor and transport."

So, I went hospital shopping.

After politely inquiring of the charge nurse why Hospital X was chosen as the receiving facility, she replied, "Because Podunk General said that's the closest hospital with neurosurgery capability."

Now, I know for a fact that this isn't true. There is a hospital in my response area, only 20 minutes away, with neurosurgery. They know me there. I asked the LPN at Decubitus Manor if they were wedded to the idea of transporting to Hospital X, and she imperiously waggled a finger at me and informed me, "Hold on a second, I've got our doctor on the phone now."

Meaning, of course, the gerontologist who sees most of the patients at that facility.

She went on to inform the doctor, "That ambulance driver doesn't want to take the patient to Hospital X… no, he's right here… would you like to talk to him?" She then handed me the phone and smugly folded her arms, no doubt waiting to hear the epic ass-chewing tthat awaited me.

So I favored her with the winning smile I bestow upon uppity nursing home LPNs and brain injury patients with severe cognitive impairment – but then, I repeat myself – and said hello to the Doc. I went on to explain my reasoning at not boarding the man, and informed her that there was a comparable receiving hospital only twenty minutes away.

Much to the LPN's chagrin, the gerontologist agreed with my plan, and gave me her official blessing to transport to Hospital Y.

So I transported the man with cervical collar – an undersized one - in place, seated in semi-Fowler's position on the stretcher, with the admonition not to move his head. He cooperated like a champ, and arrived at the ED just like I found him – comfortable, and with zero neurological deficits. I was prepared to administer pain relief and sedation, but in the end it wasn't necessary. The ED doc, agreed that – protocols be damned – collaring and boarding would have been counterproductive in this case.

Here's the thing: we have zero evidence that the practice of collaring and boarding is beneficial, even for the patients with spinal fractures. On the other hand, we have a growing mound of reliable evidence that it does harm. Vacuum mattresses and such may have indeed been a reasonable compromise, but they are not available in my system. In the case of high C-spine fractures and internal decapitation, there is at least one study out there that indicates that even a properly-sized cervical collar can result in cervical distraction of 2 centimeters or more. An undersized cervical collar results in far less distraction, but allows 30% greater lateral movement. The authors of that study go on to say that, in the unimpaired patient – neurologically or cognitively – there is already a mechanism in place that limits movement: pain.

Simply put, if you're awake and alert, and it hurts like hell to move a certain way… you're not gonna move that way. That degree of self-splinting is likely as good or better than anything we'd accomplish with a rigid cervical collar. Now, had he had neurological deficits or cognitive impairment of any sort, I may have chosen a more elaborate splinting method – perhaps even a spine board.

Blanket rolls and horse collar arrangements, like many of you suggested, are probably also good ideas, but they all relate to the point that most of us got – boards are imperfect solutions to imagined problems, and we always need to balance patient comfort with the proposed benefits of any treatment. As the admonition goes, "First, do no harm," and in this case a board would likely have done more harm than good.

So if you would have transported our patient in a position of comfort, and tried the most reasonable and non-tortuous means of limiting his spinal movement, you made the right call.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 29, 2011 • Filed under: Spinal immobilization, Uncategorized

Random Kilted Pic Of the Day

She's engaging in public displays of affection with a guy in a kilt. The least you can do is donate!

If you haven't made your donations to Prostate Cancer Foundation or LiveStrong yet, I've only got 12 books left. The next 12 people to donate $40 or more get the signed books.

And again, thank you to all who have donated, most especially to those who gave generously before I resorted to bribery. You're the berries.

Or, whatever it is the cool kids are saying these days…

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 28, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer

I’ll Take “Things I’ll Never Understand” for $1000, Alex

Things I just don't get:

Boarding a chest pain patient in the ED for 8 hours, when there are open ICU beds at your own facility, as well as at the larger hospitals an hour away.
Scheduling an angiogram for one of those chest pain patients, at a non-interventional cardiac cath labs, at 6:30 pm on a weekday.
Non-interventional cath labs, period.

There's nothing like packaging up a very sick patient and telling him to bear with you and try to be patient while you hustle him to the hospital he should have gone to in the first place.

If wait time is the biggest factor in your decision-making process, you're looking for a restaurant, not emergency medical care. "Faster seen" does not always equal "better care," folks.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 28, 2011 • Filed under: Uncategorized

Calling All My EMS Peeps

With only six days to go until the donation deadline for the Kilted to Kick Cancer fundraising challenge, my publisher has committed twenty copies of my book to the cause.

For those of you who already own a copy of En Route, don't get excited. This is just the paperback version of that book. But, from now until 2359 on October 3, any donation of $40 or more to Prostate Cancer Foundation or LiveStrong gets you a free, signed copy of the book. I only have twenty to give away, so act fast.

I'll sign it.

I'll personalize it.

Heck, I'll write whatever the heck you want in it.

You want the dedication to read, "Dear Roberta, I'll never forget the night in Fargo with you, me, the marmot and that vat of lime Jello. It's a pity the marmot will never be the same. ~ Love and kisses, Kelly," then that's what I'll write. Someday long after I'm dead, that signature might actually be worth something, or at the very least, it will make future anthropologists scratch their heads.

$40, people. That's all I ask, and it's a fully tax deductible donation. Gather up your squadmates, pool your money if you must, and add your copy to the ambulance or fire station library. Or give your copy to a friend. Better yet, donate the money on behalf of a prostate or testicular cancer survivor you know, and I'll personalize the autograph as your gift to them.

All you need do is hit either of the donation links in this post, and leave me a comment here or by email with your name, donation date, confirmation number, and how you want the inscription to read. It's first-come, first-served, so the first twenty donors between now and the deadline get the books.

Just donate, please. So many of you have opened your wallets and your hearts, and I truly appreciate it, but in just three days, prostate cancer awareness is going to get lost in a flood of pink for breast cancer awareness, a disease that kills fewer women than prostate cancer does men, yet receives four times the research dollars.

The time to make your statement is now.

Donate, please, and if you have a male friend or loved one over age 40, urge them to get checked.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 27, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer

Pulling Out All The Stops

Okay, so Caleb has overtaken me in the fundraising challenge in less than a week of soliciting donations, Jay G. is nipping at my heels, and Divermedic looks to perhaps overtake us both by contest's end.

The good news is, by meeting his $1000 fundraising goal, Caleb is going to compete in the 2012 Bianchi Cup while kilted, and he's going to auction off whatever prize package he wins, and donate the proceeds to LiveStrong on behalf of Kilted to Kick Cancer. Moreover, he's going to kick in $2 for every X he shoots in the match, which translates to another $200 or so towards testicular cancer research. Altogether, the EMS and gun bloggers who have participated in this challenge have raised well over $4,000, and we hope to hit the $5k mark by October 3rd, the end of the challenge.

So at this point, unless AD's Army gets a sudden attack of pride and kicks in more donations to win back the lead from Gun Nuts Nation, I'm gunning for Second Place (or actually, as sweet as these prizes are, 1a). But I definitely don't wanna suffer the humiliation of wearing a MArooned or Divemedic tee shirt in public if I lose to either of those guys. So I'm pulling out all the stops. I'm going to use the secret weapon that helped me beat Lt. Michael Morse for the Black Diamond EMS Blog of the Year:

KatyBeth.

I wore a kilt to my uncle's memorial service in Oklahoma City last weekend, people.

In front of my family.

That's how dedicated I am to the cause, and KatyBeth explained to most of my relatives that I was wearing a kilt for prostate cancer awareness Well, that and the fact that I know that somewhere my uncle was giggling his ass off watching me deliver his eulogy while wearing a kilt.

So without further ado, I give you the gratuitous Cute Kid Pictures. Donate generously, people, or you'll disappoint my lovely daughter.

"I let my Daddy embarrass me in front of my classmates so he can raise money for cancer research. Won't you give generously?"

"If you tell me you can't donate at least $20 to prostate or testicular cancer research, you might as well tell me there is no Santa Claus."

"If your blog readers help you beat Caleb, you'll buy me a real puppy?" That's awesome! Your blog readers are the best, Daddy!"

And if that isn't enough to convince you to give, I'll throw in this extra incentive: For every donation of $40 or more between now and the end of the contest, I'll throw in a free, signed copy of my book. Simply hit the donation links under my profile picture in the left sidebar of my blog, and then leave me a comment here with your name, donation amount and confirmation number. I'll send you an email to get your shipping address, and I'll send the books out after contest's end.

Just donate,folks. And men, get yourself checked.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 27, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Win a Free Gun

Kilted to Kick Cancer Spotlight: Happy Medic and Motorcop

After Save the Boobies month last year, in which Happy Medic convinced a great many EMS bloggers to change their blog backgrounds to pink in support of breast cancer awareness, TOTWTYTR pointed out that prostate cancer claims as many male lives as breast cancer kills females, and yet receives a small fraction of the funding and public attention.

Well, flash forward a year, and Happy, not one to let a good cause go unsupported, conceived Kilted to Kick Cancer along with his buddy and podcasting partner Motorcop.

They conceived the campaign, rounded up the corporate sponsors, and did 99% of the legwork. I just jumped on their coattails at the last minute when I decided to raise funds for the cause. The money my blog friends managed to raise in the fundraising challenge can be quantified, but the awareness and direct donations garnered by their campaign cannot, and are likely much more.

They're good men with a strong sense of duty and public service. You can support Happy Medic's donations to Prostate Cancer Foundation here, and LiveStrong here, and you can support Motorcop's donations to Prostate Cancer Foundation here. Go by their blogs and let them know you appreciate their efforts in getting this whole thing started, and drop a little in the pot for male-specific cancer research while you're there. Every little bit helps.

They're Happy Medic and Motorcop, and they're Kilted to Kick Cancer.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 26, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Sweet linky love, Uncategorized

Spinal Immobilization: You Make The Call

With apologies to Happy Medic for borrowing one of his regular themes, allow me to present an exercise in distinguishing Doing What Is Right from Doing What Is In The Protocol:

It's a balmy late summer night, and you respond to lovely, pastoral Decubitus Manor Convalescent Home for a patient injured in a fall. Upon your arrival, you find a charming and alert elderly male complaining of neck pain. He fell 24 hours before, went to the local ED that night and had staples put in his scalp. Skull and C-spine x-rays revealed no obvious fractures, and patient was discharged back to the nursing home.

He complained of neck pain throughout the day today, and finally the doctor ordered him sent back to the ED for a CT scan of the cervical spine. The gentleman had been back at the nursing home today until 9:00 pm, when the radiologist finally interpreted the CT scan. The unofficial, verbal interpretation relayed to the rad tech was "odontoid fracture, and comminuted fracture of C-1."

Our charming little old man is neurologically intact, and has been doddering around the nursing home for 24 hours with no ill effects. The nursing home doc wants him to go somewhere with an on-staff neurosurgeon, which the local ED says is a facility 70 miles away. They call an ambulance to make the transport.

Enter your intrepid hero, Ambulance Driver.

Now here's the conundrum. This is a neurologically intact patient, 24 hours post-injury, with a history significant for osteoporosis, severe arthritis, and anxiety. He is alert and able to follow commands appropriately, and participate in his exam. He has no parasthesias or weakness in his extremities, but does have point tenderness to his posterior cervical spine. He does not have kyphosis to any appreciable degree.

My protocols are pretty clear on this issue: Gramps gets the full spinal package. Not only is he over 65 with an "injury above the clavicles" (two of our sillier criteria, based on the Canadian C-spine rules), but he has the cervical spine tenderness, not to mention the friggin' CT scan that reveals a potentially unstable high C-spine fracture.

Now, an 80+ minute trip strapped to a spine board isn't the cruelest thing I can think of doing to this man, but the other two possibilities involve nipple clamps and a live ferret. He weighs less than his age, and his chart already includes orders for a Fentanyl patch PRN and gel seat pads for his wheelchair. I don't like the idea of boarding him if I can help it.

But we're not talking about what I would do. What would you do?

Do you shrug your shoulders and say, "Protocols are protocols," and tell him to suck it up for the 80+ minute trip to the hospital with neurosurgery, or do you explore other options? If so, what are those options? You tell me what you'd do in my place, and I'll post what I actually did in a few days.

You make the call.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 25, 2011 • Filed under: EMS dogma, EMS Topics, Patient Management, Spinal immobilization

Kilted to Kick Cancer Spotlight: Better and Better

With apologies to Shaquille O'Neal. the real Big Aristotle is my buddy Matt G. of Better and Better. It's an odd juxtaposition to find a man so intimidatingly large, and yet so thoughtful and well-spoken. You sit and drink a beer with him and swap stories, and you expect what comes from his mouth to sound like Bull Shannon, and when it comes out sounding more like Ben Steyn, you can't help but blink. And in these days of the ever-increasing police state and cops behaving badly, he is one of the peace officers whom I hold up as worthy of emulation. He is a credit to his profession, and what more cops should strive to be.

His tag line says it all:

I think that there's bound to be a way to serve myself, serve my community, and not take freedom away from good people.

He's a cop, a shooter and hunter, a libertarian, and one of my dearest friends. You can support him with donations to the Prostate Cancer Foundation here. Drop by his blog and let him know you appreciate what he's doing, and drop a few dollars in the pot to support male-specific cancer research. If even 20 of you donate $5 each, that's $100 closer to a very worthy goal.

He's Matt G. of Better and Better, and he's Kilted to Kick Cancer.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 25, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Sweet linky love

Kilted to Kick Cancer Spotlight: I Aim To Misbehave

When I first started blogging, I noticed that a bunch of the bloggers I followed were huge fans of Serenity and Firefly. I made a mental note to check it out, perhaps rent the DVD or watch the series on Hulu sometime, but ever really got around to it.

Then one day I followed a trackback from my blog to I Aim To Misbehave, and I noticed a quote Captain Tightpants had on his wall:

"This report is maybe 12-years-old. Parliament buried it, and it stayed buried till River dug it up. This is what they feared she knew. And they were right to fear because there's a whole universe of folk who are gonna know it, too. They're gonna see it. Somebody has to speak for these people. You all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything I know this, they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, 10, they'll swing back to the belief that they can make people . . . better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave." ~ Captain Malcom Reynolds

For some reason it intrigued me, so I Googled it, and the next day I bought the Serenity DVD. So I guess you could say that he is the man responsible for making me a fan.

I figure any blogger with a Malcom Reynolds avatar and a Captain Mal quote on his wall is my kind of people, and that suspicion was confirmed when he signed on to raise funds for Kilted to Kick Cancer.

He's a cop, a libertarian, a former soldier, a shooter and Second Amendment advocate, and you can support his fundraising efforts for the LiveStrong here. Drop by his blog and let him you know you appreciate what he's doing, and drop a few bucks in the kitty for cancer research while you're there. If even 20 of you donated $5 each, that's $100 toward a very worthy cause.

He's Captain Tightpants of I Aim to Misbehave, and he's Kilted to Kick Cancer.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 24, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Sweet linky love

Kilted to Kick Cancer Fundraising Challenge: The Standings

Okay folks, with little more than a week to go, we've raised $3512 in donations to Prostate Cancer Foundation and LiveStrong through the trackable donation links, with untold more dollars made directly to those organizations. I couldn't be happier with the way this is turning out, and I'd like to thank everyone who has donated and all the bloggers who accepted the challenge. This is the last update I'm going to post before the final standings on October 3rd, so here they are, as of September 23rd:

A Day In The Life Of An Ambulance Driver: $875
Gun Nuts Media: $855
MArooned: $370
New Life Changes: $325
A Look At EMS From 120 Feet Below: $302
Atomic Nerds: $150
Nobody Asked Me: $145
Reactuate: $100
Husband In Law: $90
Snarkybytes: $80
I Am McThag: $45
I Aim To Misbehave: $45
Evyl Robot Soapbox: $35
Better and Better: $20

As you can see, I'm hanging onto the top spot by the skin of my teeth, and am likely to get spanked by Gun Nuts Media by the time all this is over. Caleb has managed to nearly match my 23 day total in a little over 72 hours, and he has made a pretty darned generous offer if his readers put him over the top. If he wins, and wins big, Kilted to Kick Cancer may even double its fundraising total by the time he finishes his 2012 match season.

So if you haven't picked a blogger to support yet, pick one. Pick me, pick Caleb, pick anybody.

Just donate.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 23, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Win a Free Gun

Kilted to Kick Cancer Spotlight: Medic Madness

Sean Eddy is the blogger behind Medic Madness and Droid Medic, the resource for all the best Android-based EMS apps on the intarwebz. He's a little late in joining the Kilted to Kick Cancer fundraising team, but he's got a good excuse; he moved to Texas on September 1.

Welcome to free America, Sean!

He's a medic, a programmer, a blogger, a shooter and Second Amendment advocate, and a proud new resident of the great state of Texas. You can support his fundraising efforts for the Prostate Cancer Foundation here. Drop by his blog and let him you know you appreciate what he's doing, and drop a few bucks in the kitty for cancer research while you're there. If even 20 of you donated $5 each, that's $100 toward a very worthy cause.

He's Sean Eddy of Medic Madness, and he's Kilted to Kick Cancer.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 23, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Sweet linky love

For You EMS Newbies…

… Episode 63 is up on Confessions of an EMS Newbie.

Ron and I discuss birthin' babies, projectile vomiting, pooping on babies, and why it's not really necessary to do deep tracheal suctioning for meconium babies.

You know, your typical dinner conversation for Confessions of an EMS Newbie. Play us next time you're at a restaurant, and watch the patrons seated around you turn a sickly green and beckon for the check!

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 22, 2011 • Filed under: Confessions of an EMS Newbie, Podcasting

Kilted to Kick Cancer Spotlight: A Mile High And 45 Degrees North

You don't have to have a Y chromosome to care about male-specific cancer, and Carrie of A Mile High and 45 Degrees North has accepted the Kilted to Kick Cancer fundraising challenge on behalf of her friends and relatives who sport external plumbing. She also has my dream job of working in EMS at freakin' Yellowstone National Park. Seriously, with scenery like that, the National Park Service could buy AD's services very cheaply indeed.

She's a space-age cartographer, an EMT, a blogger, a grad student, and a cancer survivor in her own right. You can support her fundraising efforts for the Prostate Cancer Foundation here, and LiveStrong here. Drop by her blog and let her you know you appreciate what she's doing, and drop a few bucks in the kitty for cancer research while you're there. If even 20 of you donated $5 each, that's $100 toward a very worthy cause.

She blogs at A Mile High and 45 Degrees North, and she's Kilted to Kick Cancer.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 22, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Sweet linky love

All Right, This Is Embarrassing

Not that I'm complaining or anything, but Caleb Giddings has managed to raise $290 for Kilted to Kick Cancer in just 48 hours.

Forty. Eight. Hours.

He's only been fundraising for 48 hours, and he's done almost as much as the rest of us have done for the past 20 days. Guys, at this pace, Gun Nuts Nation stands to raise $1500 for the cause by October 3rd. There is no way – no way – I'm not gonna try to match that.

Sh*t fixin' to get real up in here, boyeee…

So it's time to unleash AD's Army. Y'all go hit the links on my left sidebar, and donate. Spread the word and tell others to hit the blog here as well. Every little bit helps.

It's AD's Army vs. Gun Nuts Nation in the no-holds-barred, steel-cage fundraising death match. Time to show 'em what we're made of.

These guys donated. Will you?

If you're one of those contrary types who just insists on rooting for the underdog, fine. Don't support me. Go find one of these guys who hasn't raised much money, and donate on their links.

Just. Donate.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 21, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Win a Free Gun

Kilted to Kick Cancer Spotlight: Caleb Giddings

Before he was an up-and-coming competitive shooter, Top Shot Season I contestant and gunblogger extraordinare, Caleb Giddings was an insurance agent who wrote a blog called "What Would John Wayne Do?" and even before that, "Call Me Ahab." In fact, I had the honor of penning the tagline to his second blog: "Where John Wayne meets Emily Post."

He's come a long way since then, not only as a shooter of formidable skill, but as a writer who has proven himself adept at branding and navigating the seas of social media. Caleb's a big name now in the gun blogosphere, and soon to be a bigger name in the shooting sports. His popularity is well deserved.

He's not going kilted, but he is marshalling his legion of readers to help raise money in the Kilted to Kick Cancer fundraising challenge.

Nice slingshot, son. You know they make kilts in kid's sizes, right?

He's a competitive shooter, blogger and gun writer, Second Amendment advocate, former Coastie, wielder of the tactical coffee cup, and good guy. You can support his fundraising efforts for LiveStrong here. Drop by his blog and let him you know you appreciate what he's doing, and drop a few bucks in the kitty for cancer research while you're there. If even 20 of you donated $5 each, that's $100 toward a very worthy cause.

He's Caleb Giddings, and he's Kilted to Kick Cancer.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 21, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Sweet linky love

Speaking of Kilted Men Carrying Weapons…

… the prize packages for the Kilted to Kick Cancer fundraising challenge just got a lot sweeter. Dennis of Dragon Leatherworks has graciously offered a prize of his own to be added to the pot.

Our 2nd Place kilted fundraiser will get a custom Dragon Leatherworks Talon holster for their semiauto handgun, inlaid with their family tartan or the fabric of their choice.

Here's the specifics from Dennis:

Holster Model: Talon
Value (includes inlay work): $145
Talon is designed for Semi-Autos only. Will not work with revolvers.
The inlay will be of the same tartan pattern of the kilt of the winner, or they can select one of my regular skin offerings of Python, Stingray (no eye), or Ostrich.

That is one sweet holster, folks. The only reason it's not in our 1st place prize package is because we're already giving away custom gunleather to that winner, so these packages could really be considered 1 and 1a. Here's what you get for being second best at raising money for Kilted to Kick Cancer:

A $250 gift certificate from Hornady Ammunition.
Free registration to one of Todd Louis Green's handgun classes. Todd is one of the most highly regarded handgun trainers around, and he teaches all over the country. Check his site for upcoming classes in your area!
$150 voucher off a new kilt ($300) from Kilt This, choice of one of their standard designs in your color choice, and one kilt chain.
A custom Dragon Leatherworks Talon holster inlaid with your family tartan. *NEW*

Or I'd imagine, if you provided Deniss with a small enough swatch or logo to be used as an inlay, you could personalize it:

Stingray, that means you could be at gun school, wearing your new kilt from Kilt This, one of those wedding ring 1911's strapped to your hip, clad in a Talon holster inlaid with the Atomic Nerds logo, when Todd Louis Green comes up to you and says, "Say, that's some sweet gunleather ya got there!" and he'd be so impressed with the holster he'd forget to even ask why the hell you wore a kilt to gun school…

… or Jay G. could be wearing his Gold Cup .45 to the next Northeast Blogshoot, and his Talon inlay could be a tiny representation of a standard Q target, with all his hits in the white, and everyone would understand why…

… or DiverMedic could have a PADI symbol…

… or Medic Matthew could have a Star of Life…

… or Old NFO could have a tiny representation of his Old Farts Brigade patch inlaid there…

… or Alan could have a Monster Hunter International logo, since he's surely already got a Talon with the Vicious Circle inlay…

… or Ron could have have a smiling picture of me on his holster, since I'm the star of his podcast.

… or since I don't have a family tartan, I could just have the Kilted to Kick Cancer logo inlaid into mine, and next year I'll just open carry while kilted all through the month of September.

But if some enterprising blogger really wanted to win this, he'd just join Team Kilted To Kick Cancer at LiveStrong, put up a kilted pic on his blog, solicit donations, and then start feeding money into his donation account, keeping an eye on the standings to make sure he gets second place.

Because really, where else could you get a custom holster, free ammo, a combat handgun training class, and half-off a custom kilt, for likely less than half what you'd pay for all those things…

… and have it be tax deductible, to boot?

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 20, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Free Gear, Gun Pr0n, Kilted to Kick Cancer

Kilted to Kick Cancer Spotlight: Divermedic

Fellow EMS blogger Divermedic, of A Look at EMS From 120 Feet Below, took up the Kilted to Kick Cancer fundraising challenge early, pulling out all the stops at raising as much money as he can, including convincing his employer to match employee contributions to the designated charities. This is likely to a) dramatically increase the total funds raised, which I applaud wholeheartedly, and b) vault Divermedic to first place in the standings, which will make AD a sad clown indeed if I don't win that gun. Oh well, I suppose I'll just have to console myself by thinking of all the money we raised.

I'd say that Divermedic really, really wants that Ruger .22/45, but that wouldn't be true. The truth is, this is a personal cause for him, just as it is for so many of the participating bloggers.

Cancer took his Dad.

He's an EMT-B, diver med tech, a shooter, Second Amendment advocate, and all around great guy. You can support his fundraising efforts for the Prostate Cancer Foundation here, and LiveStrong here. Drop by his blog and let him you know you appreciate what he's doing, and drop a few bucks in the kitty for cancer research while you're there. If even 20 of you donated $5 each, that's $100 toward a very worthy cause.

He's Divermedic, and he's Kilted to Kick Cancer.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 20, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Sweet linky love

Concealed Carry For The Kilted Man

My first obstacle in participating in Kilted to Kick Cancer was, well, getting a kilt.

I had never worn a kilt prior to the campagin, and after a little intarwebz research, I discovered that the un-bifurcated lifestyle is an expensive proposition. The custom numbers from all of the popular makers run in the hundreds of dollars, and even though the Steampunk kilts from Alt.Kilt struck my fancy, I decided to wait until I was closer to my weight loss goal to purchase one. I just couldn't see laying out big bucks for kilts that wouldn't fit in another couple of months. Besides, if I was going to go kilted for an entire month, I'd need not just one kilt, but several.

In the end, I went the DIY route, and those kilts turned out pretty well.

And of course, once the answer of how to procure a kilt was solved, the only other pressing concern was, "Where am I going to pack my heater while wearing this thing?"

You could open carry, I suppose, and Husband In Law did just that, but concealed carry while kilted is a bit more problematic. I have a number of IWB holsters in my carry rotation, but none of them are tuckable, and my normal expedient of wearing an untucked cover shirt just looks, well… funky while wearing a kilt. The things just look better with a tucked-in shirt, and the weather is not yet cold enough for me to wear my shoot-me-first vest as a cover garment. Plus, most formal kilt belts are 3 inches wide or larger, making them too large to fit the J hooks or belt slits of most holsters.

One option was the Galco Thigh Band concealment holster.

While a thigh holster may be an elegant solution for the dedicated kilt wearers among us, utlimately it wouldn't work for me. I have a neuropathy in the dermatome that runs down my left lateral thigh, caused by being overweight. When I'm at my heaviest, it's just a dull ache, but 60 pounds down, it's a raw, seething, burning pain all along the lateral aspect of my left thigh. Imagine taking a barbecue grill brush to your thigh until it's nice and raw, and then dousing it with kerosene. That's me, 24/7.

If you slap me on the thigh, you'll start a fight, but if you just lightly brush that area, you'll win the fight. Light touch is excruciatingly painful, which has actually made wearing a kilt a bit of a revelation for me. Aside from the refreshing sensation of breezes reaching my boy bits, it's actually far less painful than wearing pants or shorts. Even though this pain will be gone in another 25 pounds or so, I can definitely see myself wearing kilts more often in the future.

So anyway, yeah, me wearing a thigh band… not gonna work. Wearing the rig on my left thigh is a non-starter, and wearing it on the right thigh increases the likelihood of printing. So, I had to buy a tuckable IWB holster (and limit myself only to kilts with belts), or think of something else.

Answer: the sporran.

After a great deal of exhaustive research (okay, it was a 5 minute Google search), I discovered that no one makes a concealed carry sporran. The closest thing I could find was the Nightstalker nylon cargo sporran from Stillwater Kilts.

The Nightstalker has a zippered pocket in the flap perfect for a credit cards or a money clip, an inner sleeve pocket to carry your wallet, and a zippered and padded cargo pocket large enough to carry your keys, camera or a full size 1911. In fact, that's just what I did with it. Aside from meandering around the Las Vegas Convention Center, where concealed carry of firearms is legally prohibited, I carried pretty much everywhere else I went in Vegas, using this sporran.

However roomy it is, though, it's not designed for concealed carry, and something in me quails at the thought of walking around with my pistol just banging around loose in a cargo pocket. It was an imperfect solution at best.

Enter my buddy Michael Hast of Michael's Custom Holsters.

Shortly after Michael agreed to donate a custom holster and belt combo for the Kilted to Kick Cancer fundraising challenge, he emailed me with an offer too good to refuse:

"Kelly, how would you like me to make you a coyote-faced, concealed carry sporran?"

Uummm… yes, please?

Michael's holsters have been favorably reviewed by more popular gun bloggers than myself, and aside from the quality leather work, one of the nicer things about his operation is that he's willing to experiment. Exposed or hidden stitching, stingray hide, leather or carbon fiber, dyed in funky colors or traditional brown leather, IWB or pancake holsters, if he can find a mold for your heater, he'll make a custom holster to your specifications.

Including, apparently, the tanned pelt of Canis latrans enclosing a cowhide holster for my officer-length 1911.

After a few email exchanges collaborating on what I wanted, Michael put together a prototype and sent it my way for review. Unfortunately, it didn't arrive before I left for Vegas, but some time during my absence, the Big Brown Truck of Happiness dropped off the package from Michael's Custom Holsters on my front porch. Inside the box, I found this:

Purty, ain't it?

First impression: it's big, a good bit larger than my other two sporrans. The size, of course, was dictated by my request that it accomodate a 1911 holster with zero cant. Michael's concealed carry sporran measures roughly 9×9 inches, making it just an inch or so larger in both dimensions than my other two sporrans:

Left to right: Standard brown leather sporran, concealed carry sporran, and the Nightstalker

As expected, the leather work is impeccable. The stiching is even and ruler-straight, including the untanned cowhide holster he used for the inner holster. There are no rough or unfinished edges or seams. The back of the sporran is heavy weight saddle leather fitted with standard 1.5 inch belt slots, with the rest of the sporran constructed of tanned purse leather and the aforementioned dead critter skin stitched to the flap. From what Michael tells me, the two coyote faces he ordered were folded, spindled and mutilated by the tannery, and he had to do some serious repair to make them presentable. Still, I think it compares very favorably to other fur sporrans I've seen on the web.

The sporran as designed hangs well using a sporran chain, or a sporran keeper hung from a standard kilt belt. The holster itself is untanned cowhide, and offers excellent retention. I can turn it upside down and shake it and still it holds my pistol in place, yet still offers an easy draw. In a stroke of genius, Michael affixed the holster to the back of the sporran with heavy-duty, stainless steel snaps, allowing easy removal of the holster.

That simple arrangement allowed me to retrofit my Nightstalker with Michael's holster by the simple expedient of adding a row of heavy-duty female snaps to the back of the sporran. It worked perfectly, and the snaps hold the holster in place even during your draw stroke.

The only things i'm not fond of are the belt slots on the back of the sporran, and the lack of D rings to which a sporran chain can be affixed. However, Michael can hardly be blamed for that, as I didn't specify belt width nor inclusion of D rings in my specs. And although fur or animal-faced sporrans are popular choices for kilt-wearers, my own personal preferences tend toward the plain leather type, with hard, saddle leather sides rather than the purse leather used in the prototype. Soon I'll be commissioning Michael to build such a concealed carry sporran, similar in looks and construction to the brown leather sporran on the left in one of the above photos, with two removable holsters with a 30 degree cant: one for my 1911, and another one for my Taurus 709. This one will also have 2.5 inch belt slots and D rings for a sporran chain.

The sporran I have, however, has a special destination in mind. Michael and I are going to donate it to Carteach0's fundraiser for the Wounded Warrior Project. We'll do a special raffle of this one-of-a-kind concealed carry sporran with integrated, removable 1911 compact holster, at $5 a ticket, and add the proceeds to Carteach's fundraising total.

And if you haven't heard of the Wounded Warrior Project, go visit the site and read about a very worthy cause, and then head on over to Carteach0's blog and buy a few tickets to benefit the cause.

If you're a member of the kilted nation and have been pining for a concealed carry sporran, you could certainly do worse than Michael's Custom Holsters. Give him a buzz, and have him build you a concealed carry sporran for your weapon, or have him retrofit one of your existing sporrans with a removable holster.

Edit: Welcome to the readers from Say Uncle! Y'all be sure to click one of the donation links on my left sidebar while you're here (the Prostate Cancer Foundation and LiveStrong logos), and donate to help fight male-specific cancers. If y'all don't think I'm going to take full advantage of an Uncalanche, you're crazy!

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 19, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Product Reviews • Tagged: concealed carry sporran

Kilted to Kick Cancer Spotlight: Evyl Robot Soapbox

One of the first people I contacted for prizes for the Kilted to Kick Cancer fundraising challenge was Michael Hast of Michael's Custom Holsters. All too many gun owners will shell out serious money for a sidearm and then stick it in a cheaply made $15 nylon holster. Well, Michael's holsters are affordable, but they are anything but cheaply made. Not only was he happy to donate a holster and gun belt combo for the prize package (a set worth hundreds of dollars), he also collaborated with me on a concealed carry sporran I'll be reviewing on the blog in the next few days. While he was at it, he also joined the fundraising challenge, and he's been going kilted every day he can.

He's a shooter, Second Amendment advocate, maker of quality leather holsters, and good friend. You can support his fundraising efforts for the Prostate Cancer Foundation here, and LiveStrong here. Drop by his blog and let him you know you appreciate what he's doing, and drop a few bucks in the kitty for cancer research while you're there. If even 20 of you donated $5 each, that's $100 toward a very worthy cause.

He's Michael Hast, and he's Kilted to Kick Cancer.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 19, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Sweet linky love

And Get Off My Lawn!

My friend Too Old to Work, Too Young To Retire lays the smackdown on the younger EMS generation and their work ethic (or lack thereof). The money quote:

Chivalry might not be dead, but it’s not working tonight.

I ROFL'ed at that one, and I'm adding it to the many lines I've stolen from my friend over the years.

At the risk of sounding like an old guy myself – and TOTWTYTR was a veteran when I was a rookie – I've noticed the same thing myself with the under-thirty set. So is it a generational thing, or the type of people we're attracting to EMS these days?

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 18, 2011 • Filed under: EMT's Behaving Badly, Sweet linky love

Kilted to Kick Cancer Spotlight: I Am McThag

McThag was one of the first gun bloggers to take me upon the Kilted to Kick Cancer blog challenge. I hadn't realized he read my stuff, and after reading his blog a bit, I realize I'm going to be following him more closely. We share a number of interests.

See? Chicks DO dig a guy in a kilt!

He's a liberty loving American gun owner, and you can support his fundraising efforts for the Prostate Cancer Foundation here and LiveStrong here. Drop by his blog and tell him you support what he's doing, and drop a few bucks in the hat for cancer research while you're there. If even 20 people who read this donate only $5 each, we'd be $100 toward a very worthy cause. Every little bit helps.

He's Angus McThag, and he's Kilted to Kick Cancer.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 18, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Sweet linky love

Parish Fair Protips For 40+ Dads

Ferris Wheels and kilts are a bad combination, especially for the folks standing directly in front of the Ferris Wheel.
Do not get on the Tilt A Whirl with your daughter after eating a corndog and fried shrimp on a stick.
Do not get on the Tilt A Whirl while wearing a kilt.
In fact, just say no to the damned Tilt A Whirl altogether.

Making puke faces at the ride operator does not inspire mercy in said ride operator. In fact, I think he sped up and gave us extra time, just to see if he could make me spew. The unkindest cut of all for a former roller coaster junkie is being told by your eight-year-old daughter, "I wanna ride it again, Daddy. But if you don't think you can handle it, I'll ride by myself and you can watch me."

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 17, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, KatyBeth, Kilted to Kick Cancer

Kilted to Kick Cancer Spotlight: Reactuate

Ron Davis, the guy many of you know as the EMS Newbie, is actually an IT professional and quite a talented professional photographer. I found his blog, Reactuate, through a back link one day, and we found we had a mutual interest in guns.

Turns out, I had his dream job of being a paramedic, and he had my dream job of taking pictures of beautiful women and guns all day long. Thus, a good friendship and a successful podcast was born. At EMS World Expo in Las Vegas, we kicked off the kilted festivities a day early:

He's a social media maven, shooter and Second Amendment advocate, IT wizard, EMT and professional photographer. He doesn't always drink malted beverages,but when he does, he drinks Ovaltine. He's the Whitest Man In The World. You can support his fundraising efforts for the Prostate Cancer Foundation here and LiveStrong here. Drop by his blog and tell him you support what he's doing, and drop a few bucks in the hat for cancer research while you're there. If even 20 people who read this donate only $5 each, we'd be $100 toward a very worthy cause. Every little bit helps.

He's Ron Davis of Reactuate, Confessions of an EMS Newbie, and Photographer and Model, and he's Kilted to Kick Cancer.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 17, 2011 • Filed under: Charity, Kilted to Kick Cancer, Sweet linky love

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