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Thirty years old.
Eight months pregnant with her tenth child.
At a bar.
At 5:00 am.
Medical history: Significant only for polybabydaddia, chronic and apparently uncontrolled.
Mechanism of injury: An altercation with a candidate for Inseminator, 2011 Edition.
I'll not describe her further, but let's just say that "employed" and "privately insured" are terms rarely used to describe her socioeconomic demographic.
If OSHA knew how much traffic her vagina gets, they'd make her install hand rails.
… Episode 57 is up on Confessions of an EMS Newbie.
Ron and Kelly talk about the AHA's long and tangled history with stroke treatment recommendations, how oxygen can actually harm someone, and how paramedic instructors like to torture their students by making them convert apothecary measurements to terms people use here in the 21st century.
It's Confessions of an EMS Newbie, slaughtering sacred cows so often that India's government has declared us Public Enemy Podcast #1. Give us a listen, and bask in the sweet, dulcet tones of EMS heresy!
Economy in the tank, spending unsustainable, and none of the people responsible seem to be willing to acknowledge it.
A debt burden that will cripple the next several generations.
A government so dysfunctional that the only way to tell the parties apart is by which part of the Constitution they're pissing on, and which side of the public trough they're gorging from.
The erosion of personal freedom and the creep of incrementalism so slow that the frogs barely notice the water is getting hotter.
Yet, here in the United States, women are paying to get their hoo ha surgically beautified in record numbers.
My history is a little fuzzy, but I think vajazzling marked the fall of the Roman Empire, too.
I brought a patient into the ED early this morning with a medical issue. It was a serious, potentially life-altering medical issue, but the exact condition isn't important. Somehow, during the course of hand-off report to the triage nurse, I mentioned that the patient was fasting during Ramadan. The triage nurse rolled her eyes in disgust.
"Whatever," she spat, "I'm so sick and tired of dealing with these fucking people and their religion."
Yeah, whatever, bitch. I'm kind of sick and tired of dealing with Yankee triage nurses with bad attitudes, but you won't catch me showing it in public. Our mamas taught us to be more polite to people down here in the backward South.
I'm quite sure that, if she were to take ill in a middle-Eastern country, she'd be squealing in indignation if the nurses there treated her like an animal because she was Christian. She'd probably use it as moral justification for condemning Muslims as barbarians.
Some people I just wish would get the hell off my team, you know?
… but there's a brand on my right hip, just above the belt line, shaped exactly like a seat belt buckle.
I saw a fat chick in polyester pants spontaneously combust in the parking lot. Seriously.
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