Once Upon A Time…

… I was a sparky, idealistic, naive paramedic with grand ideas and strong opinions on how EMS ought to be, and what we  were doing wrong, and how to fix it.

And I used to spar regularly with some asshole on various internet forums who insisted on popping my idealism balloons with a hard jab of reality. I used to think he was bitter and cynical and captured by the system, and that he rejected new ideas because he was an EMS dinosaur who refused to evolve.

That guy was TOTWTYTR.

It took me a few years of losing arguments with him to realize that he was cynical, but not bitter at all, and that he shot down my new ideas because to him they weren't new at all; he'd seen them before, and had seen first hand why they failed.

I'm not sure when it was we had our first battles, but it was probably close to fourteen years ago.

Damn. Fourteen years.

Has it really been that long, brother?

After a while, I came to realize that you don't stay in EMS as long as he has if you don't love it, and possess some measure of skill at the job. He's been providing care in a premier urban EMS system since I was driving ambulances made by Matchbox. Surely, there was something I could learn from this guy.

We became friends, and eventually collaborators on a number of projects. Today, I'm proud to count him among my closest friends. He's a brother-from-another mother, and if at times he seems a little more inscrutable than I am, I know now that it's just because my friend holds his cards closer to the vest, not because he's not every bit as passionate about this job as I am.

At this point in my career, I've found myself doing the same things he did for me, fourteen years ago. Whether it be in podcasts, or in columns I write, or being a wet blanket, or in offering advice to a peer still young in her EMS career, it seems I've become the sage dispenser of wisdom, the wise EMS Jedi master, the Dear Abby of EMS.

And truthfully I have my days when I'm less the sage dispenser of wisdom than I am some guy talking out of his ass; more Cliff Claven than Dear Abby.

But my buddy TOTWTYTR is still out there doing his thing, and he had these words of wisdom to offer as well:

The emergency belongs to the patient, not to the responders. Our job is to do whatever we can to mitigate the emergency and it’s consequences but when all is said and done, what we’ve done is our job.

That's everything you need to know about professional distance, in two easy sentences. Doesn't mean you don't care, just means you don't let it eat you up so you can keep caring for your entire career.

You gotta keep some heart and soul in reserve, in other words, or you'll run out before you reach your destination.