… and it ain’t pretty. I just went to pick up cold medicine, Coke Zero, and chicken soup at Wal Mart. While wearing pajama bottoms with leaping deer on them, Mossy Oak Breakup house slippers, and an Advantage Timber shirt with a big hole in the back. I expect my picture to appear on People of Wal Mart presently. Hey, ...

… there’s a new column up at EMS1. read my Top Ten EMS events of 2010, and while you’re at it, visit the 2010 Year in Review page to read all the other columnists’ wrap-up of the EMS news of 2010. Enjoy.

… Episode 30 is up at Confessions of an EMS Newbie. Listen to the greatest hits of Ron’s first semester of paramedic school. We talk about excited delirium, why you can’t always accept dispatch at face value when they say the scene is safe, why intraosseous insertion doesn’t hurt, excerpts of the Mark Glencorse and Bryan Bledsoe interviews, why the ...

Sore throat, eyes packed with hot sand, and body aches. Since my immune system is known to attack squirrels in the back yard, I can only conclude that I’ve caught something serious, like ebola. Check back this afternoon, when I’m not feeling like death warmed over.

Drinking Protip: If you’re at the keg party, and the instructions you’re given for getting really, really drunk, really, really fast, begin with the phrase, “Take your pants off and lay down on your stomach…” … just say no. You kids these days with your hula hoops and your Davy Crockett hats and your rock and roll music and your ...

There was a time when Christmas wasn’t a very happy time for me; there was too much family strife and bickering, enough to make me avoid any and all social engagements during the holidays. My Christmas mornings were usually spent in the woods or the duck blind, and that was fine with me. All that changed when I got married ...

Your favorite EMS bloggers wish you a Happy Hair Metal Christmas. Courtesy of Sean Eddy at Medic Madness.

Four years ago, I only had a vague idea of what blogs were. I had never read one. And then, a friend forwarded me this story from LawDog, with the subject line, “If Kelly were a Texas peace officer…” I was hooked. I had just published a book, and it struck me that this blog business might be an effective ...

It's Confessions of An EMS Newbie, the only podcast too hardcore for even Keith Richards. Snort us at your peril.

Overheard in the ED: “Do you think it’s time we put Grandma in a home?” Well, seeing as how Grandma was living at home alone, and brought in with raging sepsis and dehydration, yeah, I’d say you’re well beyond that decision point. Was it the unholy stench of decaying flesh, or the maggots crawling in her leg ulcers that clued ...

KatyBeth asked Santa for an iPod for Christmas, so she can get a head start on being a sullen, isolated teenager listen to her favorite music. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been gently pumping her for information, presuming that Santa did grant her wish, what sort of music would she like on her iPod? Because, you know, I might ...

Verbatim conversation from last shift: Patient: “My arm was kind of numb and aching from where I was sleeping on it, and it scared me.” Ambulance Driver: “Okay. So why all the jerking and flopping around, and the catatonic act?” Patient: “I have conversion disorder. That’s how I deal with fear, pain and stress.” Translation: “There is nothing physically wrong ...

… whether you’re a believer or unbeliever, Christian or Jew. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDeXUvWbLp8&feature=player_embedded[/youtube] Simply magnificent. Found via Bob Agard.

In case you haven’t read them, the EKG Yoda, Tom Bouthillet, has a series on narrow complex tachycardias on his Prehospital 12-Lead ECG blog. If you’re interested in cardiology, you should definitely give them a read. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Narrow Complex Tachycardias: Part 1 Narrow Complex Tachycardias: Part 2 Narrow Complex Tachycardias: Part 3 Other than the rare zebra, ...

The EMS gods are fickle beings, quick to anger and hard to appease. They rarely give you what you pray for. If you want good calls, they send you transfers. If you want rest, they send you on back-to-back cardiac arrests. If you bitch about taking a BLS transfer, they’ll send you a ventilator-dependent patient with intracranial pressure monitoring, an ...