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“Why y’all looking at me like I’m the douchebag?”

31 comments

Well, perhaps it’s the 100-pound girlfriend we’re tending to, the one with the nasty shiner on her eye.

Maybe it’s the 5 pound Chihuahua laying paralyzed on the floor that you stomped.

Maybe it’s the two heartbroken children crying because they’re taking Daddy to jail. Again.

I’d say that if the hose and smell of vinegar fit, then…

**********

There are times in this job, the job you took because you’re more driven than most to protect and heal, that everything you believe about manhood and justice wars with what society and the legal system says justice should be.

This is one of those times.

So tonight, rather than follow my instincts, I’ll channel my rage into dry, clinical prose, and I will meticulously, objectively document every single aspect of the hurt you inflicted. And I’m going to pray that every period, comma and quotation mark ensures that you will spend your days being sodomized by men larger and tougher than yourself.

And damn your black fucking soul, I can still see your little boy’s face as he cried that they were taking Daddy away. God only knows what kind of psychic torment you have inflicted on the kid in the past, and will continue to do well after you’ve gone to prison.

I still can’t help but think that seeing Mommy cap Daddy the first time he punched her would have resulted in less psychological trauma than seeing you abuse her for years.

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Posted by on July 10, 2010 • Filed under: Uncategorized

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  • AC

    Too bad he didn't accidently fall down the stairs.

  • http://www.arizonarangerems.blogspot.com The Ranger

    What kills me is that those poor kids will likely, one day, be forced to visit daddy because some family court judge can't move past the thought that not all “families” should remain together. That's one of the reasons why I'm almost glad my supervisors shield us from the outcome of some of our calls in the big city. I know enough to know I'd rather not know.

  • http://twitter.com/lilminimedic Mini Medic

    I'd channel my rage at reading

  • http://twitter.com/lilminimedic Mini Medic

    Mom and pet hurt? I highly doubt the kids haven't been touched by some type of abuse…as this man seems to take out his rage on objects that have little chance of defending themselves.

    AD, you left out an adjective that begins with “f” and ends with “g” when describing this guy…buuuuut that's just my opinion…

  • Baca Strings

    Know the feeling bro. Seen more than one of that type, and will probably see more before I shuffle off…

  • Carteach0

    Yeh man, understood. Sometimes the choice is between being the hand of long overdue justice, or keeping the career.

    The first time I was told we couldn't do anything about a physically abusive parent because the kid was eighteen…… that messed me up. What I wanted to do would have cost my career, and possibly my freedom. What I did do was drop a word in a local officers ear. Even that, the school admin would have nailed me for.

  • steve

    My one and only ghost comes from such a call. The biggest frustration for me is that as the years pass, the names change, and types of abuse we see seem to get more voilent but the system built to deal with it remains pretty much the same. Very frustrating… Very sad.

  • Azureketo

    Having been on the receiving end of such abuse at one point in my life I know now what I would do to protect me and those around me that needed it. It would not include lead poisoning – but rather “LODGE” embossed across the frontal lobe cover. (cast iron – not just for cooking anymore!)

  • http://daddybearden.blogspot.com/ DaddyBear

    Just goes to show that you don't need to qualify as a decent human being to be have kids. I won't call this piece of garbage a parent. Too many good people have earned that title to be lumped in with this waste of protoplasm.

  • mrmacs

    Proof that the human genome pool sometimes needs an application of bleach and chlorine.

    That thought, while pleasant, can never erase the scar that is left while at the scene, only smooth it over a little.

  • Totwtytr

    If more women were armed, there would be far fewer abused women. But of course the “advocates” for abused women will tell you that's not the answer. Apparently that piece of paper from the court has magical powers to stop a maggot from beating on his wife or girlfriend.

  • Old_NFO

    Sad, but consistent with a certain type of relationships… and usually kids are involved… sigh…

  • Mike Doyle

    Something similar happens at Booking, too. When the subject douchebag appears and you review the arrest report before taking custody from the arresting officer, you find yourself doing the job that you're supposed to do, instead of the job you need to do – in a polite (exaggeratedly so), professional (coldly so), manner, so the subject douchebag can't cloud the issue with claims of police brutality…

    One thing about it – I've learned to say, “Sir” as a synonym for “A***hole”

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  • http://lookingthroughapairofpinktraumashears.blogspot.com Medic Trommashere

    If only Mommy woulda capped daddy… I've been on too many calls like this, and I can only do the same thing: being so dry and clinical that it comes off as if I am completely cold and uncaring. It's hard enough to try and take care of the abused, but the abuser…sometimes I'm glad there's a cop in the room.

  • CBEMT

    UP, he fell UP the stairs. Get it right! :-p

  • E_courtright

    This is all tredgic because it is far too comon and true. I understand it is hard to deal with this in a profession like yours on a regular basis but if you are tired of your heart feeling cold becasue you have to turn in off to compleete your job according, remember those children crying and the mother battered can be helped by your kindness of words. So, next time you resopnd to such a scene think to yourself what are just a few words that can give that woman the strength to not allow this to happen anymore or to the children to not allow them to accecpt this experience to define who they will be. Sometimes. just sometimes a few words is all they need to change their aspect on life. And if this is a repeated scene sometimes they need to hear it repeatedly. On a vacation for one week when I was 13 I was repeatedly told Jesus loves me. I didnt understand it until 10 years later but it did change my perspective of my own self worth and I finally hear thos words in my heart. Plant that seed in someone who needs it.

  • Nvguyusa

    I recommend that you visit the battered wife and have her view this video:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyGAvulgWmw&feat…

    Before hubby gets out of jail.

  • nvguyusa

    Oops. Hit post too quickly. Second try:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyGAvulgWmw&feat…

    County road 233, under my feet
    Nothin' on this white rock but little ol' me
    I've got two miles till, he makes bail
    And if I'm right we're headed straight for hell

    I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun
    Wait by the door and light a cigarette
    If he wants a fight, well now he's got one
    And he ain't seen me crazy yet
    He slapped my face and he shook me like a rag doll
    Don't that sound like a real man?
    I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of
    Gunpowder and lead

    Well it's half past ten, another six pack in
    And I can feel the rumble like a cold black wind
    He pulls in the drive, gravel flies
    He don't know what's waitin' here this time

    Hey I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun
    Wait by the door and light a cigarette
    If he wants a fight well now he's got one
    And he ain't seen me crazy yet
    He slapped my face and he shook me like a rag doll
    Don't that sound like a real man?
    I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of
    Gunpowder and lead

    His fist is big but my gun's bigger
    He'll find out when I pull the trigger

    I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun
    Wait by the door and light a cigarette
    If he wants a fight well now he's got one
    And he ain't seen me crazy yet
    He slapped my face and he shook me like a rag doll
    Don't that sound like a real man?
    I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of
    Gunpowder and,
    Gunpowder and lead

    Gunpowder and lead, yeah

  • http://reflectoscope.wordpress.com/ Jim

    Some people really would best serve society by removing themselves from it.

    Jim

  • http://phoenixtoashes.livejournal.com/ Ix

    Agreeing with some of the folks above: if this – I don't even *know* words foul enough to describe something disgusting enough to do this, so I suppose “cockroach passing as a human being” will have to do – if he's gone to the point of abusing an animal that wasn't doing him any harm (and while I'll agree that those little anklebiters can be vicious, I doubt that it was doing anything but being in the wrong place at the wrong time) god only knows what an exam on the kids would turn up.

    And god only knows what kind of poison he's filled their minds with; I doubt he bothers to keep a lid on what he's thinking, while he's whaling on them.

  • http://twitter.com/chainsawferret Brian Kinnison

    fell up the stairs onto a baseball bat. Thirty seven times. Must be a clumsy guy or something.

  • TwistedThoughts

    You, sir, have far more restraint than I would. Guess that is why I am not in your profession. Or in the public service profession. I would be far too tempted to grab a hold of that piece of garbage's throat and squeeze every ounce of life from his pathetic soul.

    People may ask, what makes me so special as to be to judge, jury, and executioner. As far as scum goes, I believe let's just kill em all – and let God sort them out. For our society is ran by criminals. We can't even get a decent elected official. Someone has to do the dirty work. Someone special. Unfortunately, that person would essentially be sacrificing their soul and damning themselves to hell. For there is no redemption down that road.

  • Steve

    Can you tell you really touched a nerve here AD? This is a tough subject with no clear cut answers. It's certainly makes us feel better to romanticize killing the SOB. But many, as in your case involve children who would be further scarred by mommy killing daddy and all the baggage that would come with which may or may not now include not having a mother or a father. Not to mention the woman herself coming to grips with the act.

    In my much younger days, way before EMS, I took part in a “blanket party” for one such individual. We all thought man we taught that guy a lesson… until he beat her even worse as payback for our actions only a couple of days after. In this instance we actually ended up saving her. Pitching in enough money to but her a plane ticket to spend some time with her father in another state. She ended up staying out there. Nice ending but not something you can do for all.

    I didn't really go into my ghost story in my earlier comment. It is still hard for me…Let's just say The girl (not woman) admitted she needed help. She was an underage alcoholic but she shared with me the reasons that caused it.and asked for my help. I don't think I have ever written a longer report. Shared not only with the hospital but with police officers in person. In the end when her 72 hour voluntary commitment was up, It was her abuser who picked her up and two days later she took her own life.

    The one thing I like about being older now is I can act more like a father figure and be accepted for it. On that call I was very kind, supportive, reassuring, but thought the center I was taking her too would have the answers. I now believe that what little time I have in the back of the rig should be used full tilt to save this person. Just as if they were having a heart attack or any other life threatening event. I need to focus every skill I have on reaching them.

    It's sad to say I've seen enough of them to have planned answers now. My approach is still kind, supportive, and reassuring but I have no problem moving it to include a more fatherly lecture tone. When they say but I love him. I tell them No you love the image you have of him.When they tell me they will change I tell them No they wont change, the only thing that will change is the intensity of your beatings. I use the kids, too usually they will deny that the kids get abused. They say that they take the abuse to save them. I tell them sooner or later he will move on to the kids and you have to end this cycle now. I usually appologize for becoming blunt but emphasize how important and dire the situation is. It's Life Threatening

  • Antibubba

    It's bad enough for the children to see the abuse. But when the victim keeps returning to the abuser, and keep taking the violence, the kids grow up to think this is normal, acceptable behavior.

  • Jumperlass

    “if he's gone to the point of abusing an animal that wasn't doing him any harm”

    Wow. As if that's the clincher. Beating the girlfriend to the point that she needed tending from AD wasn't the end of the story; the punchline is that he beat the dog, too.

    Wow.

  • Jumperlass

    AD–Thanks for doing your job. And thanks for caring enough to need to write about it later.

  • Susieh

    and what does the little child tell his little friend/friends at school?

  • http://twitter.com/fm114fd Jared Alexander

    LOL'd at the bleach and chlorine thought… well said

  • N3qtrtme

    Having some from this kind of situation in my distant past, I strongly, strongly, support documentation as the best approach for someone in AD’s position. Here are the issues I ran into when trying to get away from an abusive “mate”:

    1. You can be killed trying to get your kids away, or if there are no kids, you can get killed.
    2. You have to leave your job – no notice, no further contact. They WILL show up there. They will treat your co-workers/boss like they treated you or worse, given the chance.
    3. You have to abandon your family – any they know about. They will show up there, too. Yes, they will get even better “treatment” than the co-workers.
    4. You have to abandon any friends they knew about. Yes, they get worse treatment than the family and the co-workers.

    So, where the heck do you go if you are an abused woman (or man, for that matter)?

    No job. No family. No friends. You are lucky if you scored a car to live in and places to hide until they decide not to hunt you down. They probably already have all the money…

    Just saying that although the situation is hard to deal with on the ambulance, it’s not likely going to be something you can fix, no matter how many pamphlets you carry covering domestic violence. Yes, you can help by supporting the person emotionally. Proper documentation is going to be the biggest help down the line, when that person finally decides to go to court and pulls up every bit of evidence possible against the abuser. PLEASE, do it right… I found scanty resources available when I needed them and it would have been such a big help.

    That is how EMS can help…

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