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Blame Valerie DeFrance for this one. If you know the other faces here, you’ll laugh even harder…
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- The Cost of System Abuse: At shift change this morning, we got a walk up customer. Guy knocks on the door, says.. http://bit.ly/89AD4D #
- Yeah, they've got a little Captain in 'em… http://tweetphoto.com/7206931 #
- When It’s 2 am And You’re Still Wrapping Presents…:
… yeah, they’ve got a littl.. http://bit.ly/5vDSNo #
- "…When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer…" – BLAM! – Reindeer venison, anyone? #
- Happy Blogiverary To Me!: Today marks my third anniversary of the day I decided to ape by blogfather LawDog and.. http://bit.ly/8yTVOA #
- Whoever said laughter is the best medicine obviously never had gonorrhea. #
- Whatever happened to the good old days, when people posed their drunk friends for embarrassing pictures, instead of calling 911? #
- Now There’s a LolCat I could Love: Dino Doc knows what I like! http://bit.ly/8MLOJv #
- Took A Break This Morning…: … from deadlines and writing assignments to visit the local Post Orific.. http://bit.ly/7HljjY #
- I once made a pass at Brittany Murphy, and she replied, "Over my dead body!" So I'm thinking now, I might have a shot… #
- So I'm sitting here navel gazing… and I think I see the face of the Virgin Mary in the lint gathered there. #
- Ambulance Driver’s Aimless Tweets:
For Those Of you Who’d Rather Read A Screen Than A Page…:.. http://bit.ly/7N2HaD #
At shift change this morning, we got a walk up customer. Guy knocks on the door, says he needs an ammalance. Now, what dire medical emergency necessitated his desperate call for our lifesaving skills, you ask?
An earache.
Mind you, this is an earache for which he has already received an examination and treatment. Christmas night, he went to the ER with this earache, and received a $4 prescription for an antibiotic. A prescription he didn’t fill, by the way, because he either didn’t have $4, or had better use for the money (read: crack or booze).
So now he wants to go to the other ER across town, because he had to sit a few hours in the waiting room at last night’s hospital while they were, you know, treating legitimately sick people. And he’s pissed because the ER doctor didn’t wave his Magic Wellness Wand and make his earache disappear.
So now he wants an ammalance to take him to another ER, at a cost to the taxpayers of well over $500, where the ER doctor will listen to his tale, and likely as not tell him to go fill the prescription he got Christmas night.
And some people would have you believe we have a problem with access to quality health care in this country, and that’s why the current health care reform bills are so direly needed.
Horse shit.
No, what is needed is health care payment reform that 1) reimburses primary care physicians enough that caring for Medicaid patients like this isn’t a quick route to bankruptcy, and 2) allows medical providers to tell Earache Boy to go piss up a rope when he asks for an ambulance or goes to his second ER in 24 hours for a minor complaint.
Of course, the current bill will do neither, and in fact will make both problems much worse. This is something I, and every other EMS and ER provider in the United States, sees multiple times every damned day.
And as an additional kicker, while we were treating Earache Boy, there was a cardiac arrest less than a mile from the station. The next closest ambulance was at least three minutes further away. That’s 30% greater likelihood, at minimum, that the cardiac arrest victim will not be resuscitated successfully.
While the paramedics were treating a mother. fucking. ear. ache.
… yeah, they’ve got a little Captain in ‘em.
Today marks my third anniversary of the day I decided to ape my blogfather LawDog and air my miscellaneous musings on the web for all to see.
That’s three years.
944 posts.
19, 474 comments.
1, 175,000 (more or less) visits.
And more than a few wonderful new friends.
Thank you all. You guys rock!
Why not the Christmas Edition, you may ask?
For the same reason I don’t call it the Hanukkah Edition, or the Ramadan Edition, or the Winter Solstice Edition, or the Kwanzaa Edition, that’s why.
Or even the Festivus Edition, for you Seinfeld fans.
No matter by what name you call God, this season holds special meaning to many people. Or at least, it should. It’s a time to rejoice in the brotherhood of man, and show the kindness to one another that our respective deities command. Sadly, it’s a commandment often lost in the stress and holiday parties and crass commercialism, and one routinely ignored the other eleven months of the year.
Some of us, like my buddy Mule Breath, prove that kindness and respect for your fellow man need not be inspired by belief in a deity, nor even practiced only one month of the year.
And whatever else may be said of the season, whether you bemoan the commercialism or remember to pray for peace on Earth and good will toward man, it has always been been true that, for as long as the holidays have been observed, there have been people who spend them away from their loved ones to protect us from our enemies, or keep our streets and homes safe, or care for the sick.
Hence the theme for this edition of The Handover: “The call that made the shift.” The sacrifice isn’t always easy to make, but these are the patients, partners and people that make it worthwhile.
Over in the “Bah, humbug!” corner is TOTWTYTR, whose aversion to Christmas cheer probably lies with the fact that he ain’t Christian and isn’t the sentimental type, anyway. But beneath his hard, cynical exterior lies a chewy nougat center, and he did bestow a thoughtful gift on one of our favorite ER nurses one snowy night.
Happy Medic learned one Christmas that, compared to some people, his problems are nothing. And before you think of his story as a downer, consider that, were it not for he and his engine crew, one family would have been out of a home instead a couple of appliances and half their gifts.
Spence over at Siren Voices tells of a frequent flier patient who unexpectedly left him with a smile on one Christmas night. Read about it here.
Ckemtp from Life Under The Lights demonstrates how one simple gesture can melt a career’s worth of cynicism. It would have made me melt too, CK.
Mama Mia of Dust In The Wind, in a neat twist on The Night Before Christmas, tells us of one of those co-workers that make those holiday nights in the ER totally worth it.
Speaking of co-workers that make it totally worth it, EMS Chick from That’s BLS, Not BS gifts her co-workers on major holidays by offering to cover their shifts while they can stay home with their families. And one particular holiday, she received the best gift any EMT could ever receive: the chance to truly make a difference for someone.
Bernice from I Just Call it As I See It offers a cautionary tale for all, but specifically written for the Christmas season.
Medic Scribe from Street Watch: Notes of a Paramedic tells us a tale of a frequent flier patient, the kind we all know and loathe… until they remind us that even our simplest gestures are often appreciated far more than we realize.
And in that same vein, The Insomniac’s Guide to Ambulances tells a powerful story of a lost and forgotten soul, and how he was saved. An act that, as it turns out, brought meaning to more than one life.
999 Medic offers his heartfelt Christmas wishes to all of us working stiffs, and reminds us that to give of yourself is the greatest gift one can bestow, and need not be limited to one day a year.
Mack505 of Notes From Mosquito Hill got to give someone the bestest early Christmas present evar – their life. And if that’s not enough to make your shift worthwhile, I don’t know what is.
Greg Friese of Everyday EMS Tips points out that the guys at the firehouse are your family, too, and that sharing dinner with them isn’t such a bad way to spend a holiday. He even goes so far as to wish everyone working a quiet holiday shift, but he’d better be careful…
… because Lieutenant Michael Morse of Rescuing Providence demonstrates just what can happen if you thumb your nose at the EMS Gods and say the Q Word on Christmas night.
I certainly hope Shrtstormtrooper of New Nurse Insanity: Fundus Chop! doesn’t have that kind of shift on her first Christmas in the ER. Word of advice, dear - don’t say the Q Word or the S Word, and for goodness’ sake, don’t ever say, “You know what? We haven’t gotten a really greasy trauma all night!”
That’s it for the themed submissions for the Holiday Handover, but we did receive a few open submissions:
Rogue Medic, in his typically droll fashion, writes of a routine call that certainly did make his shift.
Medic/Nurse points out that ER nursing experience is not necessarily interchangeable with street skills.
Finally, Mr. Fixit points out that, at least where EMS is concerned, stupidity equals job security.
As for my contribution to The Handover… well, my contribution is remaining silent, and spreading the linky love among all the other bloggers who were kind enough to submit posts for this edition. This is their spotlight, so please, read them all, bookmark them, and shower them with comments. That’s what we bloggers live for, anyway.
Next month’s edition of The Handover will be hosted by Buckman over at Gomerville, theme to be announced in the coming days. This will be the First Anniversary Edition, so get to working on your submissions!
… from deadlines and writing assignments to visit the local Post Orifice, and what do I find there but numerous parcel notifications, and my long-awaited Concealed Handgun License!
Suh-weet!
So, at this particular moment, I’m sampling cookies from FarmMom and Dixie, stashing Monster Hunter International into my briefcase for reading later tonight, and thanking my lucky stars for the friend that sent me these:
If you attend many conferences or trade shows, I’m sure you’re familiar with the ubiquitous name badge holders they give to participants. Typically, mine carry my ID badge, banquet, party and raffle tickets, and as many business cards as I can stuff in there.
And usually, the badge holders comes with a lanyard embroidered with the conference name or that of one of its sponsors. Over the years, I must have collected a hundred of the things. Well, those days are gone, because I now have my very own Browncoat lanyards!
Now, how cool is that?
- For Those Of you Who’d Rather Read A Screen Than A Page…: … it would seem that En Route is av.. http://bit.ly/6C507f #
- The Handover Deadline Approacheth!:
Submissions deadline is midnight tomorrow, Friday, December 18.
Yeah, I.. http://bit.ly/55B7uE # - I don't know but I've been told, a big leg woman ain't got no soul. Fat bottom girls do, however, make the rockin' world go 'round. #
- If you ever doubt the decline of human intelligence… just read the comments on any YouTube video. #
- Lounging at the station in my underwear, scratching my ass. Unfortunately, my station is a street corner, so the cops are a little pissed… #
- STEMI patient: 12 lead, ASA, O2, 3 Nitro, 2 IVs, Nitro paste, 4 of Morphine, in 14 minutes from 911 call to ED arrival. Why yes, I DO rock. #
- I'll bet the worst part of getting a lung transplant is that the first few loogies you cough up… are not your own. #
Dances With Wolves on another planet, except the villain is that evil corporation from Aliens and not the U.S. Army.
Also, the most visually impressive film I have ever seen. It is positively lush, and makes you totally rethink the limits of CGI.
Okay, that was three sentences, but I really liked this film. You should go see it.
Family Practice Resident: “So what was up with the patient y’all just brought in?”
Ambulance Driver: “Which one? We’ve been here three times in the past ninety minutes.”
FPR: “The chick that was moaning so loudly, writhing all over the stretcher.”
AD: “Oh, that one. Porn star, rehearsing for her next scene.”
FPR: “Ha, funny. Seriously, though, I saw a portable oxygen tank between her legs.”
Rookie Partner: “She’s a method actor.”
FPR (doing a spit take): “With an oxygen tank?”
AD: “It’s niche porn.”
Ex Wife: “The rehab unit? I can’t work the rehab unit!”
AD: “Why not?”
EW: “I know nothing about psych nursing, that’s why!”
Ambulance Driver: “Neither do any of our psych nurses. You’ll fit right in.”
EW: “I’m serious!”
AD: “So am I. Take a look back there. The main difference between the nurses and the patients is that the nurses know where the bathrooms are, and their uniforms don’t tie in the back.”
For you police, fire or EMS types that have swallowed the iKoolaid, there are some nifty apps to be found over on tacticalpants.com, a purveyor of, oddly enough, tactical pants.
Or, as TOTWTYTR refers to them, “action-adventure pants.”
FTC Disclaimer: I have no financial relationship with Tactical Pants (although I’ll gladly accept any free schwag, hint hint). Just passing along some nifty stuff for someone on my reciprocal blogroll.
… is done.
If you link me, peruse the blogroll and make sure you’re still on there. If you haven’t updated your blog in months, that’s probably the reason you got dropped.
While you’re there, check out the other blogs. There’s some good ones in there!
JB On The Rocks envisions what the sleigh would look like if I were Santa.
At the rate I’m going, I’d have to make seven more trips to Colorado to have a full team.
I don’t know how I went this long without adding her, but welcome Roberta X to the Blogs I Read Every Day.
In other news, I’ve finished cleaning up the old reciprocal blogroll, and over the next week or so, I’ll migrate it over here to a new page on this site. I deleted a bunch of defunct blogs, blogs that haven’t updated in months, and reciprocated links that no longer list me on their blogrolls.
So, when the new blogroll goes up, and you link me but don’t see your blog on there, drop a comment and I’ll add you.
- I'm thinking that J.C. Whitney is the man responsible for the near-extinction of the North American nauga. #
- Ever gotten a contact high at a party or concert? Well, I was just in a bar filled with 20-something hotties, and now I have a contact DUHR. #
- All Right, You Medblogging Slackers!:
The submissions deadline for The Handover is only a week a way, and I on.. http://bit.ly/4CXQrI # - Never Teach A Pig To Sing…:
It's long been known that the EMS system in our nation's capitol .. http://bit.ly/7ko3vt # - You know what's a market niche that needs filling? Wii porn. We really need Wii porn. Think of the possibilities for controllers! #
- Corduroy: Helen Keller's favorite color. #
- Triage nurse: "Why'd you bring him here?" AD: "I tried to talk him out of it, but he's willing to accept shoddy care as long as it's free." #
- Those people who think they know everything are really annoying to those of us who do. #
- I have an agoraphobic goldfish. Ever since I bought him, he's been hiding in the friggin' castle… #
- Heard "Sharing the Night Together" on an episode of Cold Case, and I've been on a Dr. Hook groove ever since. #
- Magnum Elite Force 8.0 Boots: The Final Verdict: Well, I’ve worn them for a week now, and I think I’.. http://bit.ly/6dLk3B #
- Michelle Duggar is pregnant with her 19th child. Hey, Michelle? It's a vagina, sweetie, not a clown car. #
- Observation : When a patient starts by saying "I ain't gonna lie to you," … they usually are. #
- Working a short shift at Podunk General Hospital, Nail Salon, Tire Repair and Crawfish Hut. I wonder, why did I ever leave this place? #
- Whenever someone names their kid "Nevaeh," they should also be required to change their own name to "Diputs" or "Toidi." It oughta be a law! #
- Ambulance Driver’s Aimless Tweets:
Currently coated with an inch of global warming, and the Cajuns are b.. http://bit.ly/5D9oNl #
… via copological indicators.
H/T to Divemedic.
The submissions deadline for The Handover is only a week a way, and I only have a handful of submissions!
Submission deadline is midnight, December 18, and the theme for the Christmas edition is the “the call that made the shift.” What calls or patients have you had that made that holiday shift worth the time away from your family? I’m dying to read about them!
Epijunky, TOTWTYTR, JB on The Rocks, RevMedic, all you guys here on the JEMS blog network, I’m looking at you!
Or, if you like, we always take open submissions that don’t necessarily fit the theme.
… it just wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Dr. Augustine, who has an excellent reputation in EMS circles, has become the latest in a series of medical directors who failed to fix the problems with DC Fire/EMS. The article states that Dr. Augustine resigned due to health concerns. I tend to agree with TOTWTYTR that likely Dr. Augustine was sickened by the climate in DC.
The organizational climate within DC Fire/EMS, that is.*
It’s long been known that the EMS system in our nation’s capitol is littered with the professional corpses of many a medical director who tried, and failed, to teach that pig to carry a tune.
It’s the EMS equivalent of the Oakland Raider’s coaching job; a thankless career dead-end, without the power to affect any meaningful change. It’s almost like the administration takes pride in being the smelly armpit of EMS care in this country. Yet, they seem intent on every employee there being a medic/firefighter/rescue technician, and ignoring the fact that they fail miserably at providing even basic EMS care.
Don’t get sick in the District of Columbia, folks. The EMS system there doesn’t run any better than any of the other circuses in town.
* If you’re a medic working DC Fire/EMS, and trying to provide quality care, you have my respect and my sympathies. You deserve better administration than you’re getting.
Well, I’ve worn them for a week now, and I think I’m ready to render a final verdict:
Comfort/Wearability: B.
My normal boots are a leather/Cordura upper, and require very little break-in. The Elite Force boots, with their full leather (or reasonable facsimile) upper, took a week to begin wearing comfortably. Initially, the left boot rubbed my outer ankle quite a bit, but that is no longer an issue. Now, they’re as comfortable as any Magnum boots I’ve ever worn – which is to say, very comfortable. They breathe very well, which in my experience, is pretty unusual for a pair of waterproof boots.
Looks: A.
Seriously, they’re good lookin’ boots. I particularly like the rubber armor panel above each heel, which keeps you from scarring up your boots when you kick them off.
Waterproofing: C.
You may recall that the left boot filled with water during the extended immersion test. Considering that the same boot is the one that gave me comfort problems, my guess is that there was some defect in the boot lining, although none was immediately apparent to visual inspection. Since then, I’ve worn them in rainy conditions, and both boots kept my feet dry, even when wading briefly up to my ankles.
Although one boot failed the immersion test, I’ve become a believer in the Magnum’s Ion Mask technology. It does indeed repel water, and still allows maximum breathability.
Overall, I’d have to say I’m impressed with these boots. I still wish they had a boot zipper, but it turns out that Magnum offers my favorite Viper II boots – with side zipper – with the Ion Mask waterproofing technology.
Next time I buy a new pair of boots, it’ll be those.
- Currently coated with an inch of global warming, and the Cajuns are begging Al Gore, "Neaux meaux sneaux!" #
- It's snowing outside, in south Louisiana. I checked the sports pages, and… yep, sure enough, the Saints are 11-0. That proves the theorem. #
- Just discovered that there is such a thing as "eel porn." That's the end of the internet, folks. Nothing more to see here, move along… #
- EMS Terminology Of The Week: Incarceritis: [in-kahr-suh-reyt-is]
- noun medical condition induced by the threat.. http://bit.ly/6JM4qD # - Firefighter Hazmat vs Cop Hazmat: Firefighters use the “Rule of Thumb,” in which they stage upwind .. http://bit.ly/5aki46 #
- I'm thinking I need a classy motto, perhaps something in Latin. And that motto shall be… "Carpe scrotum." #
- Indeed.: FIX BAYONETS!
Hat tip to The Smallest Minority. http://bit.ly/5t8YJA # - When my legion of flying monkeys completes my quest for world domination, SSM will be outlawed, and all the medics will get free Slurpees! #
- Fifteen minutes, seven post changes. Apparently it's a goldfish dispatcher on the console. Wait, what am I saying? They're ALL goldfish!! #
- For You EMS Types…: <i>"I've already called my doctor. He's going to meet us at the.. http://bit.ly/62FmM6 #
- Eating roadkill deer tenderloin. This is what being at the top of the food chain is like, bitches! #
- The Press Ganey Protection Racket: The docs over at M.D.O.D. give us a view of the asshattery that is JCAHO and.. http://bit.ly/7tKaYd #
- Random Musings From An Ex Dog Trainer: You teach a hound when to hunt.
You teach a pointer how to hunt.
You tea.. http://bit.ly/4LGdBP # - Dear Chris Matthews…: … get off my side.
Seriously, “enemy camp?” WTF?!?
I’m no f.. http://bit.ly/7JEOky # - Heh. He knows me too well. http://bit.ly/7OU8yp #
- Product Review: Magnum Elite Force 8.0 WPI Boots: Are they waterproof?
We’re about to find out.
TheyR.. http://bit.ly/6tcVRH # - Seen on Facebook: Superman wears Drew Brees pajamas! #
- Saints beat the mostly like AFC Super Bowl contender like they stole something. Who dat, beeyotches?? #
- You know what I'd like to do with Paris Hilton? I'd like to tie her down to the bed… and feed that girl a sammich! #
- Having a serious man crush on my boy Drew Brees. If I were gay, I'd boil his jock strap and drink the broth. Geaux Saints! #
- Thinking that if I tied KatyBeth's arms to her side, she'd be mute. Definitely got that from her mother. #
- Just interviewed by Slate Magazine on the Tiger Woods wreck. Do a press con, Tiger. Wolves are already circling, dude! #
- Something I Didn’t Know: Apparently, those of you who who are debating with Nurse K. over in this post ar.. http://bit.ly/7tiVfG #
- Blogroll Maintenance: Alas, Boob, Injuries and Dr. Pepper and Voodoo Medicine Man are no more.
Pity. http://bit.ly/6oAAzx # - Also in favor of beating certain ER nurses who view disagreeing viewpoints as "ignorant." But that much fun is probably illegal, too. *sigh* #
- Once again reminded that so-called "high performance" EMS systems use paramedics for fuel. #
- Ambulance Driver’s Aimless Tweets:
Funny As Hell…: … but it would be even funnier if I had n.. http://bit.ly/82Nw0X #
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