It’s having conversations like this:
Rookie Partner: “The chick at the window says there’s no one in the Whitney Houston suite.”
Ambulance Driver: “Oh, well. Drive around the courtyard. There’s only so many rooms at Habib’s Crack Palace and Arms Bazaar. Maybe we’ll find our guy.”
RP: “What did the dispatch notes say again?”
AD: “Intoxicated male, in the Whitney Houston suite. Requests transport to substance abuse rehab. Which, of course, makes it your call, Partner.”
RP (hopefully, after making the circuit of the motor court, and interrupting at least one blowjob for a john to cheap to invest in a room): “I don’t see anybody. You reckon he’s left?”
AD (pointing): “Nope, that’s our guy right there.”
RP: “Aww, shit. Why him?”
AD: “Call it a hunch, but a naked guy sitting in a lawn chair, pissing into his shoe while swigging Cuervo straight from the bottle just screams ‘detox’ to me.”
And indeed, that was our guy.
You meet such a… high quality of person in your job, AD.
Tacias, my friend. (tacias being the word verification. I assume it's Spanish for Tank You…)
i love they way you can tell you a story…. this one made a good start to what i fear is going to be a LONG day
a naked guy sitting in a lawn chair, pissing into his shoe while swigging Cuervo straight from the bottle just screams 'detox' to me.…
Even in SW Louisiana? Damn, AD, you ARE a bona-fide professional. *ducks*
(and I live in The Golden Triangle, maybe an hour and a half from you, so I know I don't have much room to talk. LMAO)
Hey! I think I know that guy!
Did he smell strangely like pickles? Cuz the guy I know smells strangely like pickles… How'd he get from my town to yours?
Sounds like ONE of those shifts…
You should have told him Sumdood sent you to pick him up.
Why didn't you assume it was the john? Kind of like a last cigarette before getting in the ambulance, he may have wanted one last BJ before going into rehab. For some reason, they don't let you bring your own hookers in rehab.
A conversation from my last shift:
Flying Monkey (FM): Ma'am, I believe your father is just working too hard to breathe. I'd like to put a tube in his throat so we can breathe for him.
Clueless Family (CM): You can't.
FM: Oh, does he not want that?
CM: No, I'm sure he does, but the drugs you people use don't work on him, and he'll be upset. If you wait awhile he'll quit breathing and then you can do it.
FM: You want me to wait until he quits breathing, essentially until he dies, and then you want me to intubate him?
CM: Can you do that?
FM: No. I'm sure the drugs I have will be more than adequate to do the job. (Said as I give pre-induction Versed)
CM: Well, what if they don't?
FM: I'll give more, lots more.
CM: Oh, that's fine. Say, since you have so many, could you leave me some so the next time this happens I can give him some before you people show up?
FM: Not a chance.
Some things I'll just never understand….
-The Flying Monkey
Pak Karamu reading and visiting your blog
AD you need a combination pumper truck and ambulance. If you firehosed that guy he would "detox" right there and you could get back to your coffee and doughnuts faster.
Word verification-welit
Drunk guy to harried EMS guy:
"Walit took youse long nuff ta ged here!"
Steve