Skip to content

You Know He's a Frequent Flier When…

20 comments


… the call comes in, you know who it is before you even get there.

If the complaint is “rectal pain and bleeding,” the call comes in after midnight, and the location is a random street corner, the patient is going to be Hasbro.*

With Hasbro, it’s always rectal pain and bleeding, it’s always a 10/10, and he was always operated on just. last. week.

Rookie Partner thinks I’m clairvoyant, and I didn’t even have to recite Hasbro’s medical history, address and baseline vital signs, all of which I know by heart.

* So named because if he actually had as many rectal fistula repairs as he claims, his anus ought to resemble a Play Doh Fun Factory set on “spaghetti.”

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Posted by on July 16, 2009 • Filed under: Uncategorized
  • Ross

    So… you're saying that your patient is a rectal pain?

  • Ross

    So… you're saying that your patient is a rectal pain?

  • grandmamargie

    Eww, those surgeries are painful. Don't ask me how I know. I just do. :)

  • grandmamargie

    Eww, those surgeries are painful. Don't ask me how I know. I just do. :)

  • Ambulance Mommy

    we have a frequent flyer whose name, social security number, date of birth and med history about 75% of our service can recite from memory!!! Now that is sad. she gets drunk, she falls over and goes boom, and then calls 911 to say she had a seizure. Sometimes 3 times a day. Fun.

  • Ambulance Mommy

    we have a frequent flyer whose name, social security number, date of birth and med history about 75% of our service can recite from memory!!! Now that is sad.

    she gets drunk, she falls over and goes boom, and then calls 911 to say she had a seizure. Sometimes 3 times a day. Fun.

  • Old NFO

    And it's ONLY going to get worse… They had a blurb on TV up here about some idjit that is costing about $300k/yr in ambulance and ER charges because they are "sick" at least once a week and need transport…

  • Old NFO

    And it's ONLY going to get worse… They had a blurb on TV up here about some idjit that is costing about $300k/yr in ambulance and ER charges because they are "sick" at least once a week and need transport…

  • Rogue Medic

    Gotta love the regular customers with regular emergency pain. They make it difficult for patients with real emergency pain to get what they need.

  • Rogue Medic

    Gotta love the regular customers with regular emergency pain. They make it difficult for patients with real emergency pain to get what they need.

  • Anonymous

    You're all so non-caring and insensitive to their situations. They're people, too. Can't you all just leave them alone?(Sorry, my Word Verification was "bully")

  • Anonymous

    You're all so non-caring and insensitive to their situations. They're people, too. Can't you all just leave them alone?
    (Sorry, my Word Verification was "bully")

  • Rogue Medic

    Anonymous,It would be nice to leave system abusers/drug seekers alone, but they won't let us.Abusers actually are responsible for hurting the patients with real pain, because everybody is so jaded by dealing with these people abusing the system. should real pain patients be denied appropriate treatment, just because of these abusers, and we should remain silent.This is a real problem. This is not just stereotyping people. You are defending the wrong people.People with chronic pain should never, or almost never be calling 911 to deal with their pain. That is not what 911 is for.How many surgeries do you think this guy has had?Drug addicts do not care whom they hurt as long as they get their drugs. Defending drug addicts is not a good idea.Nobody is suggesting abusing the abusers. We are just frustrated with having to deal with their scams to try to get drugs. We are frustrated with the way they prevent us from delivering appropriate care to those in real pain, not self-inflicted need to get well pain.

  • Rogue Medic

    Anonymous,

    It would be nice to leave system abusers/drug seekers alone, but they won't let us.

    Abusers actually are responsible for hurting the patients with real pain, because everybody is so jaded by dealing with these people abusing the system. should real pain patients be denied appropriate treatment, just because of these abusers, and we should remain silent.

    This is a real problem. This is not just stereotyping people. You are defending the wrong people.

    People with chronic pain should never, or almost never be calling 911 to deal with their pain. That is not what 911 is for.

    How many surgeries do you think this guy has had?

    Drug addicts do not care whom they hurt as long as they get their drugs. Defending drug addicts is not a good idea.

    Nobody is suggesting abusing the abusers. We are just frustrated with having to deal with their scams to try to get drugs. We are frustrated with the way they prevent us from delivering appropriate care to those in real pain, not self-inflicted need to get well pain.

  • Anonymous

    Sorry, my tongue was planted firmly in my cheek on that comment. As I said, my verification word was "BULLY".

  • Anonymous

    Sorry, my tongue was planted firmly in my cheek on that comment. As I said, my verification word was "BULLY".

  • Rogue Medic

    Anonymous,It is difficult to tell when something is tongue in cheek. There are plenty of people who would write what you did, but intend it to be sincere.

  • Rogue Medic

    Anonymous,

    It is difficult to tell when something is tongue in cheek. There are plenty of people who would write what you did, but intend it to be sincere.

  • WhatsHerName

    I can't tell you how many of these "frequent fliers" I was having to hand over to an annoyed ambulance driver while I worked with a corrections facility. The only hard part for me was not taking their annoyance to heart, since most of the time the only person they would project their feelings onto was me. Oh how I do not miss those nights at 3 a.m. when someone who's got a charge of "possession" or "dealing" is calling in for the fourth time in a week complaining of some pain that is so unbearable that they need to call 911. Of course, their reasoning was usually A) to score off some pain meds and/or B) to get out of the house (House Arrest). We all knew it, but there wasn't much that we could do…

  • WhatsHerName

    I can't tell you how many of these "frequent fliers" I was having to hand over to an annoyed ambulance driver while I worked with a corrections facility. The only hard part for me was not taking their annoyance to heart, since most of the time the only person they would project their feelings onto was me. Oh how I do not miss those nights at 3 a.m. when someone who's got a charge of "possession" or "dealing" is calling in for the fourth time in a week complaining of some pain that is so unbearable that they need to call 911. Of course, their reasoning was usually A) to score off some pain meds and/or B) to get out of the house (House Arrest). We all knew it, but there wasn't much that we could do…

Vote for me! Click Here

Polarized sunglasses, Flashlights, and Hiking boots.