But do you have the tee shirt? Get it on my Zazzle panel at the bottom of the page.

If you’ve been in emergency medicine long enough, chances are you’ve asked that question. A couple of days back, I got the following e-mail from a friend and fellow paramedic instructor: Today was a red letter day in my Paramedic Class. They discovered The Butt Page. It all started with a HIPAA violation perpetrated by one of my students. I ...

…if your bank is prone to bunging up your Visa debit card access on a regular basis, and you decide to hop on your bike for a jaunt to Houston to visit a friend… … withdraw some $%#^& CASH MONEY before you go, less the bastards strand you in Deeepinahearta, Texas in broiling heat fifteen minutes after the customer service ...

… post a few motivational posters of your own, with even bigger boobs. That will show those sexist bastards that not only are you onto their game, but that you’re subtle and devious and not someone to be trifled with. Yeah, that’ll teach ’em. And be sure to send me the link, so I can ogle see how you put ...

*ring, ring*AD (groggily): “Huh, who, whazzis… um, hello?”Ex Wife: “Hey, are the batteries charged on your cardiac monitors?”AD (confused): “Uuuuhhh… yeah, I suppose I could find some hot batteries. Why?”Ex Wife: “Husband In Law is getting dizzy when he stands up. I’d like to see what his rhythm his before I decide to schlep him over to the ER.”AD: “Um, ...

Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. I rarely hurry on a bad scene. I don’t dawdle, but neither do I bark orders and scurry about with a grim expression set on my face. I’m calm, and I’m deliberate. That works for me. When everyone around you is shitting their pants, stumbling over their own feet and handling objects as ...

If ever your boyfriend happens to beat you to an unrecognizable pulp, and the paramedic asks if he has ever struck you before, the proper answer should never be, “Well yeah, but not this bad.” No, the proper answer is, “No, this was the first and last time. The cops are still photographing his body in the other room, but ...

When I first entered the blogosphere, I mostly read and linked the gun blogs. Soon thereafter came my fellow EMS bloggers, and finally a number of physician and nursing blogs found their way onto my blogroll. I follow quite a few, and I get something different from each one. Dr. Lucy Hornstein of Musings of a Dinosaur is where I ...

Sent to me by a friend, an ER nurse in a major trauma center, in an e-mail the other day: Guy comes in last evening with an abscess on the left lower chest wall, been there for about a week. It was I&D’d (incision and drainage procedure) here a few days ago, and he was kept as an inpatient for ...

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQCjeb5Dc6s&hl=en&fs=1&]Courtesy of Native American Nurse, a bunch of us from PGHNSTRACH went to the ZZ Top concert tonight. The last time I was at a ZZ Top concert was well over twenty years ago, and a lot of things have changed since high school. Back then, bare titties were plentiful and you could get a decent contact high by just ...

“I… I just can’t,” he sobs into his hands. “I can’t take care of myself… I can’t deal with things. I need to be in a home.” “Any family? Anyone you could stay with?” I ask, already knowing the answer. Still, I hope that somewhere in his fractured memories, a loving family member might magically appear, someone who will take ...

… the call comes in, you know who it is before you even get there. If the complaint is “rectal pain and bleeding,” the call comes in after midnight, and the location is a random street corner, the patient is going to be Hasbro.* With Hasbro, it’s always rectal pain and bleeding, it’s always a 10/10, and he was always ...

It would seem that my review of Cycles and More’s customer service has struck a nerve. Some cretin who calls himself “gjerry3,” who has a Blogger profile only a couple of weeks old, has taken it upon himself to defend Cycles and More, and to inform the entire Intarwebz that I am a fat, flaming douchebag who can’t be pleased ...

… because we carnivores are smarter.Brain food, anyone?

Thanks, Uncle Strings! Serious, she digs the bear. So much so, that I think the only way you’ll top it is to book a command performance from Hannah Montana herself.