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*sigh*

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The ex and I pretty much agree on everything when it comes to KatyBeth. In fact, the only thing we’ve ever disagreed on is the subject of pierced ears.

KatyBeth was less than a year old when Ex Missus and her mother announced that they wanted to get Katy’s ears pierced.

I pitched a fit. Not that I’m against piercings and body jewelry, but I am when the wearer is still in diapers.

“Not a chance in Hell,” I vowed.

They were genuinely taken aback at my vehemence. “Why not?” they asked, surprised. “It’ll be cute!”

“My daughter is already cute,” I answered, “and I’m not going to allow her to be mutilated for someone else’s idea of aesthetics.”

They didn’t care for my use of the word mutilation, but in my mind that’s exactly what it was. And they knew better than to broach the subject again. It was one of the few times I felt it necessary to show my ass to my wife and MIL.

A couple of times since then, Katy has approached me about piercing her ears, an idea obviously planted by Grandma and not something Katy wanted herself. I told her to go back to Mawmaw’s house and tell her, “Daddy said NO WAY.”

I told the Ex that I’d let Katy get a piercing under the following conditions:

1. Only one pair of holes, in an earlobe only. If she wants a second set, she has to wait until she’s in high school.

2. No noses, eyebrows, tongues, or navels, ever. Is she wants to pierce anything besides her ears, wait until she’s 18 and out of my house. And if she ever decides to pierce any part of her hoo ha, she’d better wait until I’m dead and in the ground before sharing that little tidbit.

3. Where tattoos are concerned, see #2. No butterflies, flowers, cartoon characters, barbed wire, Chinese symbols or tramp stamps until she’s at least 18.

4. When she wants her ears pierced, she’ll have to ask me, and convince me it was her idea.

*sigh*

That day came today.

Hopefully I’ll be dead before she decides to decorate her coochie like a Christmas tree.

Posted by Ambulance Driver on June 17, 2009 • Filed under: Uncategorized
  • phoenixtoashes
    My plan for any future kids of mine, piercing-wise, is that they can get one set of holes in their earlobes at age 12 if I believe that they can do proper aftercare.


    Up until then, I'm restricting them to stick-on and clip-on earrings.



    Definitely no infant piercings, for me - if I want my kids to look "cute," I can find a set of stick-ons!
  • Ambulance Driver
    Sewmouse, the difference is that those blood tests and inoculations have a proven therapeutic benefit, and earrings do not.


    Plus, the potential for infection with those medical needles pretty much ends with the injection. Not necessarily so for a piercing.
  • Andrea
    Just remember AD, the more you resist, the more she may push back. One hole in each ear is REALLY not that big a deal. You can put your foot down on the other piercings and tats and so on, but be sure not to drive her to rebel even harder by resisting even the simplest of piercings.


    Pick your battles. :)
  • Sewmouse
    Matt asked:
    Can someone explain to me why a 12-month-old with pierced ears doesn't result in child abuse charges for someone?



    Matt, it's for the same reason that having your infant inocculated against diseases, or given a blood test doesn't result in child abuse charges. There is no more pain or (if done by a professional) danger than either of those procedures.



    Heck, some doctors actually hook babies up to IV's, which is exponentially more painful than having one's ears pierced. I think a bit of "perspective" might do you well.
  • Jay G
    Happy Father's Day AD!
  • nemo of utopia
    Just another voice seconding the use of a disposable needle over the gun; less trauma, less risk of infection, in short, her ears will thank you. I went through the whole cauliflower ear think with wrestling, and ear trauma is not fun. Also had 9 14 gauge earrings in one ear with no problems... done by a professional piercer with needles in a clean studio. It was fun while it lasted, but the earrings went away when I started pulling 3 shifts a week on the ambulance and the holes are barely noticeable.
    And remember; while they may change the way people are perceived, piercings don't change who you are. She's still your same little girl, just a little sparklier now
  • reflectoscope
    If I ever have daughters and they want their ears pierced, they can drive themselves (in their car, with the license and insurance they're old enough to have and paid for themselves) to the place and get it done. I figure if they're willing to go to that much trouble, they mean it.


    Jim
  • Grace
    I had my youngest daughter's ears pierced when she was about 3 months old. I asked them to put the holes pretty close to her head as her ears would probably grow. Wouldn't you know it, she has pretty dainty ears and the holes are still really close to her head (and she is in her twenties).


    When I was in grade 5 (a gazillion years ago), my teacher pierced my ears at recess, using her fingers to pinch (to numb them) and a needle and a potato. My parents never gave permission (and the teacher would never have thought to ask). Any teacher who did that nowadays would be sued to high heaven! Probably rightfully so.
  • Bo...
    aargh...I hate that word "coochie".... (kill me, I'm a prude.)
  • Mrs. Who
    LabRat: Yes, I've got double pierced ears...The first I did myself, the second set was 'professionally' done. I'm not saying it would hurt that much...just a deterrent for KB until she's older. Especially, as others have said, for her to be able to keep it clean those first few weeks.


    (Word verification: trinests...for birds into menage-a-tois.)
  • just a girl
    my six y/o girl's best friend has pierced ears. i reminded little red head of her hatred of IVs and she has decided no way does she want anything that may cause pain, swelling, etc. smart kid. i got drunk at fire convention this week though, and came home with a belly button ring. trying to hide it from redhead til she's at least 40 :)
  • LabRat
    Oh Christ yes, no piercing guns ever. I cannot fathom why people will take every precaution with any other piercing but somehow think their earlobes are immune to infection or ineptitude. I'd get my lobes pierced from the same level of professional I'd get my nipple pierced by.


    Ms. Who- have you never had anything pierced? That clothespin thing you describe would be orders of magnitude worse than just about any piercing save a large-gauge cartilage job.



    Word verifiction: "redneste"- the genitals of a backwoods meth-head woman.
  • Sashka
    Hopefully it'll be a while before my little girl asks me (she's 1), since I don't even have my own ears pierced and neither does my mother. Just never cared much, I already have the right number of holes in my head. For now I'm thinking that if she really wants it I'll save it as part of a special mother-daughter day when she gets her first period.


    And lest anyone accuse me of being inconsistent, I refused unnecessary aesthetic modifications on my little boy, too. ;)
  • Anonymous
    My parents did the "when you're 13 or you start your period - whichever comes first!"


    Mom broke dad down when I was 10 but I get why they waited, they're hard work to keep clean and if she has sensitive skin she'll have to have only gold -- mine react to even stainless steel.
  • Rick R.
    My wife has an interesting, and unrefutable (in these PC-days) response, when people ask why we wouldn't consider tatoos or having our 3 year old pierced:


    "It's not part of our culture."



    Word Verification: "Hymatic" -- Sounds like an automated deflowering device.
  • 10%
    My In-laws still don't know I have tattoos. Technically I only have two, although I'm closing in on 20 hours total work. I'm 100% certain they will hit the roof if/when they do finally find out.
  • Christina LMT
    IF she ever does get her hoohah decorated, don't worry. You will never, ever find out.


    I, too, hate seeing small children (of either gender!) with pierced ears. I just don't see the necessity.
  • SANDY G.
    I feel for you, lol! I hate to tell you, it's only going to get worse. I've raised three girls and the teen years can be very interesting!
  • Sabra
    Can someone explain to me why a 12-month-old with pierced ears doesn't result in child abuse charges for someone?


    For much the same reason a newborn boy with his foreskin forcibly removed doesn't. It's de rigeur in our society.
  • Crucis
    My daughter got her ears pierced the same day my wife did. My daughter was 15 at the time. My wife went first and that almost made my daughter back out. That was 15 years ago.


    A few years later when she was in college, she asked my about getting a "small" tattoo. I told her if she was into self multilation, why didn't she just stand in front of a mirror and slap herself silly. She didn't like that response but she didn't get a tattoo either.



    Now she's married and a mother of three. A few months ago she said she was thinking about getting a small tattoo on her ankle. (A friend of her and her hubby at their church has one.) I just looked at her and didn't say a word.



    Far as I know, she still hasn't gotten at tattoo. From time-to-time, she and the kids will sport washable tats, but that's all.



    It's just stupid, really.
  • Matt
    Can someone explain to me why a 12-month-old with pierced ears doesn't result in child abuse charges for someone? Unbelievable. My daughter won't be getting anything pierced until she's at least 120 months old.
  • grandmamargie
    My eighteen year old nephew (years ago) got his ear pierced which caused his 12yr old brother to want his done. My brother-in-law, a country boy, talked him into waiting until he was eighteen by telling him that at that time, if he still wanted it done, he would get his done too. Yep,Country Boy had to get his ears pierced on his son's eighteenth birthday. HeeHee (But it only lasted about three days.)
  • Ambulance Mommy
    In our family, we got our ears peirced for our 10th birthday. It was a special celebration that we did with my grandmother (my mom's mom)


    All of the girls in the family looked forward to the special event. It was a really cool tradition, and we've started it with my neice already.



    At 10, we were fairly responsible enough to twist the earings daily, and make sure it was clean, etc. So I think I would agree to it, if I ever have a daughter
  • Bernice
    I had to wait until I was 12 to get my ears pierced. Fine and dandy. When I wanted second holes at the age of 16, they told me no. I pierced them myself. As well as three or four in my cartilage for good measure.


    I may not have much say in this since I am not a parent myself, but from the point of the daughter... pick your battles AD. :) At least I waited until I was out of the house to get my first tattoo.
  • oliviastotland
    We are so lucky in that our daughters' school doesn't allow any kind of jewellry, and any existing piercings must be removed whilst on school premises (it's a boarding school, so that means for 2 weeks at a stretch). They move on to senior school at 13, and then they are allowed to consider having their ears pierced. Eldest took me up on this, and did a good job of keeping clean and had no infections. What the other two will decide, I don't know!! At least their next school only allows small gold studs and single piercings only. I'm totally with you on multiple piercings/body piercings and tattoos!
  • Sabra
    Around here, little girls typically have their ears pierced as babies. Mine were pierced when I was about 6 weeks old, & I'd originally intended to do the same with my daughters. Took one round of immunizations to change my mind. No way would I hurt my baby for MY vanity.


    Now I have three daughters, and it's not on their radar at all. Of course, I wear earrings only rarely, so it's not something they're exposed to much.



    The current plan is that they are allowed to do it at menarche, but even then I will not encourage it (and as others have said, they're going to a reputable piercer).



    I'm just lucky my ex-husband is still enough afraid of me that he probably won't go behind my back and get it done. (Actually, I don't think he realizes he can, legally, & I'm really happy about that.)
  • 40lizard
    I had to be old enough to take care of my ears once they were pierced so I was older than the average bear so to speak. And after getting a re-awakening in bloodborne this last semester it will be a cold day in hell before my daughter gets hers done! Unless I can sterilize everything before hand!
  • Barbara
    FWIW, I'm with you, for a couple of reasons:


    1. The average small child won't be able to do a good job of aftercare. I don't need to tell you about the importance of keeping a wound clean while it's healing. You know your daughter well enough to say whether she's up for the job.



    2. A child's body will change as she grows. Those holes that are nicely even now might wind up with one higher than the other once she's done growing--she doesn't want to look lopsided. A reputable piercer (i.e. not the untrained mallrats with guns) will recommend you wait until you're done growing before getting a permanent body modification.



    If she MUST do it, have it done someplace where they use one-time-use needles. The needles are used once and discarded (no risk of transferring disease or infection from a previous use) and the needles are hollow and very sharp (it hurts a hell of a lot less).



    Those mall places that use the guns? Run away. The guns cannot be autoclaved/sterilized, and they work by punching a solid stud into the earlobe--does a lot more trauma to the flesh, takes longer to heal, and hurts like a mofo. I had my ears done both ways (first with a gun second time with a needle) and I can tell you the needle is a LOT less painful, and my ears didn't wind up with horrible infections afterwards.
  • Anonymous
    It too shall pass AD. Mine where pierced before I even knew what piercing was and for that am thankful. I've gone back and got two holes in one ear and one in the other, and it hurt. As for the other piercings and tat's, yeah my Daddy wasn't too happy about it, but he still loves me. She'll always be Daddy's girl no matter what decorations she gets.


    Angie
  • Beaker
    I never did find out why, but at one point my (then) four-year-old daughter really wanted her ears pierced. I didn't believe how serious she was until she was behaving perfectly in an attempt to show me she was ready.


    When she wouldn't clean them properly and wouldn't let me clean them, the earrings came out and the holes closed up. She can try again when she's 13. :)
  • Mrs. Who
    Have KB to allow you to put several clothespins on her ears. Wear for several hours, even while sleeping. Tell her the pain and discomfort she feels is NOTHING compared to the pain of getting her ears pierced and the healing process. When she can do that for a whole week...then she's ready.


    I had told my daughter to wait till she was 12...then my ex-hubby got them pierced before then when she was on her summer visit...grrr.



    Sorry for the length...and this may have been something my mother made up to keep me from getting my own ears pierced...but I vaguely remember that piercing before puberty can hinder the absorption of some mineral or something.
  • BangBangMedic
    I never saw anything with pierced ears, provided, as others have said, the girl is mature enough to take care of them herself. Oh, and when my youth squad members wore hoops on call or drill. Thats's a no go.


    As for the body piercing, if I ever have a daughter, she'd better be at LEAST in high school. Tattoos...thats up to them when they are fully adults. I didnt get mine till recently, when I was sure I wanted to live with them.
  • Midwest Chick
    Please, PLEASE, if she decides to get her ears pierced, take her to a professional piercer, NOT the mall.


    The way those piercing guns work, they crush the flesh rather than make a hole. There's also no good way to get them sterile.



    BTW, I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 20 and I did it myself. Don't recommend the ice cube and Jack Daniels piercing method either.
  • WyzWmn©
    that's funny - the christmas tree statement made me spit coffee on my desk....


    I think body mods are an ageist thing...my mother (at 80 yrs) never has had her ears pierced, I (at 53)have 2 holes in each ear and a couple of tattoos (course I am a pagan and a biker) the generation behind me has those scarification marks and implants (them things just freak me out! how do you keep yourself from staring at them?)



    I used to work in a call center as a manager...we had a "business casual" dress code - so one day I'm going up the stairs to the training dept and there's a new hire coming down the stairs. He has tribal tattoos coming up his neck outta his collar and onto his face, he has ear stretchers in both ears, implanted horns, 2 rings in his upper and lower lip and waist long dreadlocks....



    but he was wearing a shirt and tie...so he met our dress code...(on an aside...I never did figure out how he talked on the phone without those rings clanging..but he did)



    eye of the beholder I guess...course I don't have a young daughter either...
  • charlotte g
    I was 40. Never had been able to wear earrings because of sensitive earlobes. Piercing changed that. I feel more dressed up with the ear jewelry.
    Oldest granddaughter got hers at 10. Parental approval necessary for suitable adornments. All the other fifth grade girls also got them, which made for really cheap and appropriate Christmas presents. Her 7-year-old sister, of course, is pushing hard. I don't THINK she will beat the age limit. Said feminine older granddaughter is also a killer athlete and student. The balance ain't bad. just so you know. The future is arriving faster than you think.
  • TheRedHead Who Reads
    Oh boy, does this bring back memories of me and my Dad. I was the last girl in my class (at age 13) to want pierced ears. I wanted so badly to join the "earring club".


    Dad persistently and adamantly kept saying no; with no solid reason why he thought that way until my mother really pinned him down on it. He then replied that only BAD (those kind of) women got their ears pierced.



    Mom then fired back (righteously so) "Well, I've got my ears pierced - so what does that make me???"



    For one of the few moments in life that I knew of, he was speechless. She totally deflated his argument with her logic. He then had to reluctantly concede that it was okay for her to have her ears pierced, therefore, he relented on his decision about my potential ear piercing.



    I got my ears pierced ASAP but only after agreeing to wear only tasteful, dainty earrings - no dangly, sleazy stuff. I kept the bargain all the way through ... and finally got my second and last ear piercing when I was 23.



    I have no tattoos, however, have contemplated it, but nothing definite yet.



    I agree with not piercing ears of babies and little, real little girls - not until they're capable of taking care of the piercings and being responsible for their earrings, etc.



    Body piercing - no way!! Not for me. I've heard too many horror stories of piercings gone wrong or swallowed tongue studs, umbilical piercings torn out, etc. I'll pass on that. ;D



    It's really rough for Dads to see their daughters begin to grow up. You just can't turn back the clock, but stick to your principles. Some things you just can't reverse easily.
  • Owen
    Hopefully I'll be dead before she decides to decorate her coochie like a Christmas tree.


    you most likely won't be but i bet your girl is smart enough not to tell you.
  • TOTWTYTR
    My daughters first effort at ear piercing ended up with a visit to the ED to have them removed. Her second attempt was done by an MD and she's had no problems since.


    She's had no interest in tattos or other piercings, about which I'm pretty happy.



    Not that I could stop her, she being 24 and all.
  • Holly
    my girls both got pierced ears when they were oh.....12 or so. One let them grow back, one did not. One has an eyebrow piercing now (and it's not too bad, quite tasteful as in not gaudy) and the other has a lip ring and very small nose stud. The nose stud is not gaudy at all, but I'd like to rip the lip ring off. One very attractive tat around an upper arm that I thought I would hate but actually like.


    Point being, to each his own. KB is young yet, but they all do grow up and do things we don't love at some point.



    Oh, and btw....both are now college grads and productive members of society....reliable, responsible employees.
  • Old NFO
    THAT brought back some memories... sigh... It's the first step on growing up, at least according to them.
  • John McElveen
    Man that's gotta be tough.
    We raised our neice and the same words came out of my mouth. She's now 21 and has had her tongue pierced for years. FOR WHAT?????



    She doesn't even have her drivers license because she is scared to try to get it. You can have your TONGUE pierced by you can't frigging parallel park!



    Feeling your pain,



    J
  • OHN
    I got my ears pierced after being told no, by my mom. It was the only time in my life I was ever grounded. I was 15. In her era, only "THOSE kind of girls" had pierced ears.


    10 years later mom had hers pierced and I grounded her. :)
  • hilinda
    Interesting. My daughter tried to convince me today, too.


    I agree with LabRat- when she's old enough, and committed enough, to keep it clean and healing well by herself.



    Once she's 18, I figure it will be her business, and I have no problem with what she decides, except I'll lobby against anything that causes permanent nerve damage.
  • Aunt Murry
    Hang in there AD. She's growing up. Good for you for letting her get her ears pierced.
  • LabRat
    Perhaps ironically for someone with four holes in her body she wasn't born with (none in the earlobes) and a vastly growing area of inked sink, I agree with you 100%. Pierced ears on babies and toddlers creep the living hell out of me, and nobody should modify their body until they're old enough to understand what they're doing and capable of keeping it clean and healing well by themselves.


    Didn't get anything stabbed or scribbled until I was 20, for the record.
  • Sherm
    Our girls couldn't get pierced ears before they were 12 (I think). One did, one didn't. The one got a 2nd ear piercing when she was in college. It is long gone now. The other's 26 and still has yet to pierce. I don't see that happening real soon. Suits me fine.
  • Jay G
    Heh.


    BabyGirl G. is older than KatyBeth and *still* has zero interest in pierced ears...
  • Joe Allen
    As far as body modifications go: with piercings, generally speaking, you can remove the thing when you're tired of letting your freak flag fly and resume a normal life with no one the wiser.


    If you go in for the giant tribal hula hoops in the ear, you're stuck with a permanent reminder,and if you chose to bling out your wedding tackle, there may well be permanent scarring.



    The average piercing however, will heal over without leaving you looking like an out of work carny for the rest of your days.



    Tattoos on the other hand, like love and herpes; are forever.
  • Brad J (Kazrak)
    Agree with you entirely, AD. Fortunately for me, so does my wife.


    My daughter has no desire to get her ears pierced right now. She decides that she wants it, sure. But not until then.
  • Epijunky
    I remember when I got my tongue pierced. I was married with a child and my father still pitched a fit of epic proportions.


    I took it out a year later as a Christmas gift for him. He told me that was the only thing he wanted.
  • Michael Morse
    You will be surprized at how the little teenaged princesses manage to get their own way.


    Little creeps still have me wrapped around their fingers, and they're pushing thirty!
  • TheUnpaidBill
    Been there, done that, died a little inside when my little girl got her ears pierced, but you can't keep them from growing up.


    BTW, good to see you posting more, I enjoy reading them.
  • LL
    There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with having the hoohah decorated like a Christmas tree!! *ahem*
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