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Radio Traffic From Last Night

26 comments


Dispatcher: “Borg Unit Four, you have an assault/rape at Masquerade, 1384 Waterfront. 23-year-old male at the rear entrance*.”

Temporary Partner: “What’s Masquerade?”

Ambulance Driver: “Local gay bar. They have an awesome drag show on Wednesday nights.”

Temporary Partner [on radio]: “Dispatch, where did you say the patient was again?”

Dispatcher: “Unit Four, your injury is going to be at the rear entrance.”

TP: “Ummmm, okay.”

And she blushed so charmingly, too.

*I don’t know if it is intentional, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was…when the club moved to its current location, the club owners made the original entrance the emergency exit, and made the former emergency exit the main entrance of the club. So now, everyone comes in through the rear entrance. Srsly.

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Posted by on January 25, 2009 • Filed under: Uncategorized
  • Not tellin’ you my name …

    I will never hear Berlin’s “Masquerade” the same way again.

  • Not tellin’ you my name …

    I will never hear Berlin’s “Masquerade” the same way again.

  • Mark

    *snerk*That’s even better than my first US job. I sang out one day “I’ve made a mistake – can I borrow a rubber?”The art department was largely female.“Honey, if you’ve already made the mistake, it’s too late for a rubber!” came back.(I should have said “eraser”, but in the UK we call ‘em rubbers. Because you rub out with them. And they’re made of rubber. Two countries, separated by a common language…)

  • Mark

    *snerk*That’s even better than my first US job. I sang out one day “I’ve made a mistake – can I borrow a rubber?”The art department was largely female.”Honey, if you’ve already made the mistake, it’s too late for a rubber!” came back.(I should have said “eraser”, but in the UK we call ‘em rubbers. Because you rub out with them. And they’re made of rubber. Two countries, separated by a common language…)

  • TOTWTYTR

    We had a dispatcher, who was gay, who would make a point of saying that when ever he’d send a unit to one of the gay clubs. “Ambulance 309, enter through the rear.”It always got a laugh, at least from me.

  • TOTWTYTR

    We had a dispatcher, who was gay, who would make a point of saying that when ever he’d send a unit to one of the gay clubs. “Ambulance 309, enter through the rear.”It always got a laugh, at least from me.

  • Ben

    LOLOne of the local Gay Sauna around here also have it’s main entrance at the back.Are we on something there?

  • Ben

    LOLOne of the local Gay Sauna around here also have it’s main entrance at the back.Are we on something there?

  • Joeymom

    Our gay bar with the awesome drag show shut down. (Not due to lack of popularity, but due to the onset of insanity of the owner). We used to watch the dresses and all go by on Wednesdays, too. It was totally fabulous what some of those guys could do.

  • Joeymom

    Our gay bar with the awesome drag show shut down. (Not due to lack of popularity, but due to the onset of insanity of the owner). We used to watch the dresses and all go by on Wednesdays, too. It was totally fabulous what some of those guys could do.

  • Recovering Grady Addict

    Nothing beats asking Fulton County Dispatch repeatedly for the name of the buckhead bar…Grady 196: Sorry radio, can you readvise your traffic, we have a lot of crowd noise here at post…Fulton Co: 196, you are responding to an assault in Uranus.Grady 196: Are you advising Uranus?Fulton Co; 10-4That exchange could have gone on all night and never lost an ounce of funny!!!

  • Recovering Grady Addict

    Nothing beats asking Fulton County Dispatch repeatedly for the name of the buckhead bar…Grady 196: Sorry radio, can you readvise your traffic, we have a lot of crowd noise here at post…Fulton Co: 196, you are responding to an assault in Uranus.Grady 196: Are you advising Uranus?Fulton Co; 10-4That exchange could have gone on all night and never lost an ounce of funny!!!

  • Sherry

    I don’t know if it has anything to do with that bar, but I know that because of the law not allowing bars and liquor stores within so many feet of a school, some bars will put the entrance in the back and that would technically put them far enough away to be within the law.

  • Sherry

    I don’t know if it has anything to do with that bar, but I know that because of the law not allowing bars and liquor stores within so many feet of a school, some bars will put the entrance in the back and that would technically put them far enough away to be within the law.

  • Gator

    Hmmmm… I wonder if the patient in question knows he’s the butt of all these jokes.

  • Gator

    Hmmmm… I wonder if the patient in question knows he’s the butt of all these jokes.

  • Legman688

    Damnit AD, this post needs to come with a Class Four (IV) Beverage Warning.

  • Legman688

    Damnit AD, this post needs to come with a Class Four (IV) Beverage Warning.

  • Janie B

    Yeah, I’d blush too. BTW, my National Health Care shirt got some stares, but no comments, at the military commissary last week.The other shirt I’m waiting on: http://cameesa.com/support/design/185/pink-gorilla

  • Janie B

    Yeah, I’d blush too. BTW, my National Health Care shirt got some stares, but no comments, at the military commissary last week.The other shirt I’m waiting on: http://cameesa.com/support/design/185/pink-gorilla

  • Wyatt Earp

    Are you sure it wasn’t Unit 69?

  • Wyatt Earp

    Are you sure it wasn’t Unit 69?

  • Anonymous

    Sorry if this sounds rude, but… since when is ANYTHING about rape of any kind funny?

  • Anonymous

    Sorry if this sounds rude, but… since when is ANYTHING about rape of any kind funny?

  • Ambulance Driver

    Not exactly rude, Anonymous…but more like someone in search of a reason to be offended.Actually, “assault/rape” merely refers to the dispatch category. All instances of interpersonal violence that did not involve knives or firearms are lumped in this same category for the purposes of allocating resources to a particular call.Doesn’t necessarily mean anyone was raped, or that we were making sport of it.

  • Ambulance Driver

    Not exactly rude, Anonymous…but more like someone in search of a reason to be offended.Actually, “assault/rape” merely refers to the dispatch category. All instances of interpersonal violence that did not involve knives or firearms are lumped in this same category for the purposes of allocating resources to a particular call.Doesn’t necessarily mean anyone was raped, or that we were making sport of it.

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