Two years.
639 posts.
And as of midnight, 703,216 unique visits.
I can’t even count the friendships, blog children, blog grandchildren and pleasure you guys have provided by stopping by my little corner of the blogosphere.
You guys rock.
In honor of this inauspicious occasion, here’s the post that started it all:
A New Disease
The wonders of medical science never cease to amaze me. Since the days of of post-WWII, we have ushered forth the Age of Penicillin, followed soon thereafter by the Rise of Resistant Bugs, only to be followed by the Super Antibiotics, and of course The Super Bugs. Like the age-old battle between armor and projectiles, every medical advance seems to only bring forth a newer, meaner strain of Super Cooties.
Back in the day, strokes were just things that happened to old folks, and were simply To Be Endured. After the big event, we turned Grandpa toward the sunlight and kept him watered, and hoped like hell he recognized you when you visited. Maybe, just maybe, he learned to feed himself again, and then only if you (and he) were lucky. Now, we have vascular Drano that can circumvent that whole horrific process, if the Drano itself doesn’t finish Grandpa off in the process.
When you’re having a heart attack, you can go to the Roto Rooter man…excuse me, I meant interventional cardiologist…and have the old pipes cleaned out.
If your goober doesn’t work, we have pills to fix that. Ladies, if you weren’t visited by the Titty Fairy in your adolescence, the wonders of breast implants can fix that. Yet, given the paltry funding for Alzheimer’s research, we will soon have a generation of geezers with perky boobs and big erections with absolutely no recollection of what to do with them…
…but I digress.
My point is, we learn more about disease and disability every day. Yet I find myself highly suspicious of some of the latest medical conditions to be identified, not sure if they are legitimate disorders or just the feverish ramblings of Uncle Melvin locked somewhere in the basement at the CDC… you know, perhaps he has gotten out and and has found a forum.
As case in point, I give you Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.
I suppose a name like Mad Cow Disease was already taken. Ladies, pardon my dragging knuckles here, but what about this syndrome is any different than PMS?
Bloated? Check.
Bitchy? Check.
Wild mood swings? Check.
Persistent anger? Check.
Fatigue? Check.
Spouse walking on eggshells and offering you large quantities of chocolate? Check.
Spouse whimpering incoherently and bunking with his hunting buddies? Check check.
So what here is so radically different than good ole garden variety PMS? Is it possible, that like alcohol, PMS merely magnifies your less-desirable personality traits? Like, if you are already a wee bit bitchy, does PMS make the fangs come out? Or is it a clinical syndrome beyond your control, the dreaded PMDD????
Like a Mel Gibson apology, I ain’t buying it.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a sensitive fellow. Warm and fuzzy, even. I like sunsets, long walks on the beach, puppies and poetry. I’m also fond of slaying God’s furry little creatures with projectile weapons, but that’s the predator in me. Man can become too civilized, you know.
And lest the distaff persuasion think I am merely picking on them, I also highly skeptical of any child with a diagnosis of ADHD. Don’t get me wrong, I know it exists. Many of us in EMS have all the symptoms – restlessness, need for constant stimulation, inability to focus and complete simple — Hey! A Butterfly! C’mere Mister Butterfly! Hey guys, let’s catch the pretty butterfly! Guys? Uh, guys? —
Oh yeah. Sorry, where was I? Right, ADHD. Even though it may be a legitimate medical disorder, I see mood-altering drugs prescribed to waaaaaaaaaay too many kids with a “diagnosis” of ADHD made by doctors too lazy to truly assess the child, or too scared to deny Mommy and Daddy a panacea for bad parenting.
Back in the not-too-distant past, when I was a schoolboy, parents and school administrators knew exactly what was wrong with Little Johnny when he exhibited disruptive behavior, fighting, talking back to the grownups and poor impulse control. Little Johnny suffered from Chronic Hickory Deficiency, a malady easily cured by liberal topical applications applied by the parents at home. If needed, my principal kept a large, highly polished Hickory Booster hung on the wall behind his desk, and he was not afraid to use it. And it worked. And they hadn’t even heard of things like Ritalin or serotonin levels…
Of course, I’d rant more but I’m sure I’ve already offended enough people, besides which I’ve always been easily distracted. And I have a hyperactive child to beat. Or I could just let the Ex-Missus dole out the beatings. She’d enjoy it. It’s that time of the month.
Congrats on the anniversary!
Congratulations, AD. You were the first EMS blog I stumbled across, and I’ve loved the journey you’ve taken us on for the last two years.To many years more.Thank you.
Congrats, AD! Keep on writing and we’ll keep on reading.
Happy day to you! Your blog also started my interest in all things EMS blog related! Keep up the great writting!
Congratulations.I suppose TOTWTYTR, Mule Breath, and I are some of your blog grandchildren.
Only two years? Seems like I have been visiting you daily for longer than that.Congratulations! Please don’t burn out on us. We need you.
Heh, funny thing is, if I’d been medicated in school I might actually *be* “Doctor” Strangegun by now. No poor impulse control, no disruption, just a complete and utter, no, TOTAL inability to focus on bookwork that honestly follows through to today. For someone who’s supposed to be smurt, that 2.8GPA I tried so damned hard to keep sure doesn’t reflect it.And the capcha is “valvings”. So apt.
Holy Crap, congrats AD!!!Two years. It seems like much longer than that we’ve been graced with your light.Or something like that.Let’s go shootin’!
You’re the best. End of story.My word verification is “phyllato”. Sounds like a cross between “fellatio” and “phyllo”.Gives new meaning to the filling in puff pastries.
Hey, happy anniversary!!!! Somehow i found your blog through the EMS related stuff, and I’ve been hooked ever since. Great stuff!! I hope you keep going for many more years!
Two years! It seems like a mere 730 days ago. Two years and how many offended snurses, overimportant doctors, ambulance service managers, and would be EMS experts? I for one have lost count, but I haven’t stopped enjoying watching the pompous amongst us nursing their bruised egos. Keep it up.
Happy Blogiversary!
AD,First of all congrats on the anniversary! and second of all I love this post-somehow I missed it the first time around! Third, I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed the blog-just so you know-I’ve almost gotten in trouble more times than I care to admit over the hysterical laughter-not to mention scaring everyone with the tears with some of your more tender posts! Your blog was also one of the first I ever read! and let me tell you- its a riot!
Keep up the good work! You are so talented! And thank you for sharing your life with us humble folk!
W00t! Congratulations!
CONGRATS!!!And thank you for the witty writing, comic and even sometimes educational moments!Hope to check in with you soon.And my capcha is UNITYRIG… does that indicate I have to get along with my EMT’s now? Damn…. (pouting)
Congrats on your mile marker! Loved reading your first post again. I'm with you… the ADHD and PMDD bull*&%t is way over rated. I'm off to find some chocolate now…no hyperactive child to beat.
Congratulations.
Congrats! I’m hooked, that’s for sure!
Thanks for the laughs AD! Keep them coming!
You may not think you’re a great writer, but your writing’s the reason I keep reading your stuff. Congratulations on doing it for two years.
Congratulations! I really enjoy your stuff! Please keep it coming! Some days, I really need the humor that you provide. You’ve got a gift and thank you for sharing it!
Congrats ADYou are a great writer and I really enjoy reading them all.Awhile back you promised us another 3-part post with 2 of your fellow bloggers. I’m hoping you will still do it.
As a wee little blogger of only one and a half years… (cripes am I really only six months behind you?? Doesn’t seem possible) I’ve been addicted to your wit, humor, and absolute disregard for the so called conventions of writing since the start. You know you’re one of my blog idols, AD. Totally aside from me wanting to kidnap you for a month and hole up in a cabin to write together, any time you have something to tell us… I’m listening.And in the vein of reporting capchas… mine is stophor.I think your blog just called me a whore….
Your blogiversary is an even greater celebration for us, your readers. As the father of one ADD child and one Asperger’s/Tourette’s child, you’re not offending me at all. Both of said offspring know how to behave in ALL social situations. Their tolerance for those who use their ‘diagnoses’ as a behavioral carte blanc is as non-extant as their father’s.I’m not quite so articulate as to use the term ‘hickory deprivation’. I simply refer to ADHDNAW as the obvious diagnosis. Translated? He/she may have ADHD, but definitely Needs Ass Whoopin.
Congratulations on your anniversary. On the topic of unusual medical conditions, what is the deal with “Restless Leg Syndrome.” The first commercial I saw, I swear I thought I was watching some parody ad, like on SNL.
Congratulations!(coupled with ‘Blimey! has it really been that long?’)
I’ll call ya out, you bastid!! I’m still waiting to hear why the bitchy partner got canned. Don’t make me come over there and crack a cat o’ nine tails on your ass!! I vaguely recall some hints about trying to throw you under the bus? It’s been so long…shit, I’ll have grandkids by the time you get to it.Oh, and happy blogiversary.
My word verification is ‘fockli’ which is a word which will find it’s way into conversation one day soon.I found your blog by luck, best luck in the last few months, and I haven’t got back to that first entry yet, so you have saved me the trouble. Still got a fair bit of reading to go, and I am enjoying the ride. Congratulations and thank you.
Thank you for what you’ve given us! (And I’m not talking about the stuff you need penicillin for, either!)
Happy anniversary AD, and here’s to many more. bob
Hey AD, congrats!! That’s wonderful. I’ve been reading your blog for perhaps a year and a half now and it’s on my Must Read list daily. Sometimes I’ve laughed so hard, I’ve cried. Other times I’ve cried and felt the pain you shared with us all. You’ve definitely got a gift of storytelling, making us come back for more and that’s rare to find these days. May your inspiration keep you going because really good stories are hard to find and greatly appreciated. Thanks for deciding to do this blog – it’s one of the best I’ve seen.
Happy Blogiversary AND Merry Christmas, AD!
I am a very new reader but LOVE IT!! Congrats!!Nicole
Congrats AD!
Congrats on the anniversary, AD, and now that it’s a couple minutes into the 25th heree, Merry Christmas, too!
Dos anos, eh? Sounds like a tequila brand. Might be some correlation there. I swear you must be flying on some psychoactive to come up with some of the mierda you print. You’re a gem, AD, and a keeper. Proud to call you friend. Happy Christmas from this godless pinko.[oh, maybe you could get me MonkeyGirl's number...eh?... Buddy?...]
< HREF="http://recoveringgradyaddict.blogspot.com/2008/12/blogger-spotlight-kelly-grayson.html" REL="nofollow"> YOU WERE FEATURED IN THIS MONTH’S BLOGGER SPOTLIGHT!!!<>Yeah.. I know it took a while. But I don’t have the fame or notariety you do. Gimmie a break!
Congratulations, A.D. You have earned our respect, gratitude, and every single visitor.
Hey, your post cracks me up!! It took me 34 years to get a physician to diagnose me with ADHD/ADD. Several doctors I went to in the past kept diagnosing me with Depression and forced upon me drugs that would keep me zombified…I finally told the last physician that he could stick his lousy diagnosis you know where!It would be another 3 years before I went to another physician about my problems…The right doctor came along and explained to me that I’m a lazy person with a hyperactive brain..but, because I live in Jefferson County Missouri, people look at my address and assume that I am looking for meth ingredients…L..O..F’n..L…Adderall helps me a little, but I’m not speeding around and often, I forget to make appointments to refill my adderall…Its not so easy getting an ADHD diagnosis around here, if you’re a parent of a child and you bring up the subject of ADHD testing, the physicians around here suspect you want the drug for yourself…have funkT