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This One Deserves A Post Of Its Own

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TOTWTYTR asked in the comments on my last post:

“What’s a clitris, anyway?”

To which I replied,

“Legend has it that that the clitris holds the key to a woman’s sexual satisfaction.

At puberty, they teach budding young women to tell their mates, ‘You almost found it,’ seconds after they give up in frustration.

Personally I don’t think the damned thing exists.”

His rejoinder:

“Oh, that thing. It’s sort of like Sumdood in that a lot of people know other people who say they’ve seen it, but no one actually has proof.”

*snerk*

Posted by Ambulance Driver on September 24, 2008 • Filed under: Uncategorized
  • Anonymous
    AD, I'll let ya find mine, if you want... lol< />< />~Head Case
  • Anonymous
    AD, I'll let ya find mine, if you want... lol< />< />~Head Case
  • OrangeNeckInNY
    I know where the clitris AND the G-spot is. To think I'm still a single guy.
  • OrangeNeckInNY
    I know where the clitris AND the G-spot is. To think I'm still a single guy.
  • The little tech that does...
    Wow.
  • The little tech that does...
    Wow.
  • easily lost
    Hmmmmm, a week now and it's still going strong, this should tell you something
  • easily lost
    Hmmmmm, a week now and it's still going strong, this should tell you something
  • CountyRat
    Anonymous said... < />"betcha the blind virgin couldn't find it ;)"< />< />Betcha he could. It is better located by palpation than visual assessment . . . .< />< />Honing those palpatory exam skills is hard work, but it has its rewards.< />< />You can trust me on this; I have a license from the government!
  • CountyRat
    Anonymous said... < />"betcha the blind virgin couldn't find it ;)"< />< />Betcha he could. It is better located by palpation than visual assessment . . . .< />< />Honing those palpatory exam skills is hard work, but it has its rewards.< />< />You can trust me on this; I have a license from the government!
  • Anonymous
    betcha the blind virgin couldn't find it ;)
  • Anonymous
    betcha the blind virgin couldn't find it ;)
  • Queen of no man's land
    I need a ciggie.. be back later.. I'm exhausted..
  • Queen of no man's land
    I need a ciggie.. be back later.. I'm exhausted..
  • CountyRat
    My, AD, you seemed to have touched on a sensitive subject here. Wait, that's progress, actually, isn't it?< />< />I'm just so confused!
  • CountyRat
    My, AD, you seemed to have touched on a sensitive subject here. Wait, that's progress, actually, isn't it?< />< />I'm just so confused!
  • Anonymous
    Blogger Epijunky said...< />< /> Wow. After reading that whole exchange I feel like I've spent five hours in bed with a blind virgin.< />< /> September 28, 2008 10:33 PM< />< />< />< />That made me giggle
  • Anonymous
    Blogger Epijunky said...< />< /> Wow. After reading that whole exchange I feel like I've spent five hours in bed with a blind virgin.< />< /> September 28, 2008 10:33 PM< />< />< />< />That made me giggle
  • Anonymous
    This reminds me of the old joke "Why do men climax quicker than women? Who cares?"< />< />LOL< />< />As for the Lesbian weighing in, she is just another women trying to do a mans job.< />< />Ray
  • Anonymous
    This reminds me of the old joke "Why do men climax quicker than women? Who cares?"< />< />LOL< />< />As for the Lesbian weighing in, she is just another women trying to do a mans job.< />< />Ray
  • Guncrazy
    If we had a group of people mass debating here, it would just be one big circle jerk.
  • Guncrazy
    If we had a group of people mass debating here, it would just be one big circle jerk.
  • Epijunky
    Wow. After reading that whole exchange I feel like I've spent five hours in bed with a blind virgin.
  • Epijunky
    Wow. After reading that whole exchange I feel like I've spent five hours in bed with a blind virgin.
  • Wyatt Earp
    If we get enough people together, we can have a mass debate.
  • Wyatt Earp
    If we get enough people together, we can have a mass debate.
  • Ted
    Debate on AD's blog? I don't see it happening.
  • Ted
    Debate on AD's blog? I don't see it happening.
  • philthemedic
    Is this going to be yet another one of AD's posts where the comments turn into a raging debate?
  • philthemedic
    Is this going to be yet another one of AD's posts where the comments turn into a raging debate?
  • Anonymous
    Ah. so you ARE a chicken.
  • Anonymous
    Ah. so you ARE a chicken.
  • OA
    Cluck cluck cluck.
  • OA
    Cluck cluck cluck.
  • angrycanrn
    oa,< />< />I'm just not sure what you want from this exchange. We try to take the high road and not impugn your masculinity. I don't think that avoiding such juvenile accusations make us "slackers" Then you complain that I are slow witted since it took me so long to bring it up.< />< />OA:< />"Most people are just too angry, too unhappy, too full of unrealistic expectations."< />ME:< />"I hope you find happiness because not everyone is cynical and jaded, angry and full of unrealistic expectations."< />< />Reading comprehension? Really reaching there buddy.< />< />And as for being classy all the time, not just when it's "convenient".... The internet is a wonderful fantasy stage, where you can pretend to be anyone. So you really can't glean any information about my personality from these exchanges.< />< />Interesting though that you dissected my response line by line, but didn't answer a single question. I suspect I know why.< />< />Good luck anyway. And if your condolonces were sincere, they are appreciated. But no, I don't need to be told how to keep my husband's memory alive for my children who were only 22 months old when he died.< />< />If you are lucky you will find a classy lady (or gentleman) who steps out of the "classy" persona in the bedroom.< />< />Best of luck
  • angrycanrn
    oa,< />< />I'm just not sure what you want from this exchange. We try to take the high road and not impugn your masculinity. I don't think that avoiding such juvenile accusations make us "slackers" Then you complain that I are slow witted since it took me so long to bring it up.< />< />OA:< />"Most people are just too angry, too unhappy, too full of unrealistic expectations."< />ME:< />"I hope you find happiness because not everyone is cynical and jaded, angry and full of unrealistic expectations."< />< />Reading comprehension? Really reaching there buddy.< />< />And as for being classy all the time, not just when it's "convenient".... The internet is a wonderful fantasy stage, where you can pretend to be anyone. So you really can't glean any information about my personality from these exchanges.< />< />Interesting though that you dissected my response line by line, but didn't answer a single question. I suspect I know why.< />< />Good luck anyway. And if your condolonces were sincere, they are appreciated. But no, I don't need to be told how to keep my husband's memory alive for my children who were only 22 months old when he died.< />< />If you are lucky you will find a classy lady (or gentleman) who steps out of the "classy" persona in the bedroom.< />< />Best of luck
  • OA
    "My "doth protest" statement was directed at your obvious "size" issues. (Since you tried to short circuit that argument, I assume you must have some self esteem issues in that department.)"< />< />Yup, that must be it.< />< />A few posts too late with it, but better late than never, right?< />< />"And baby, just cause it seems like you could use simplified directions, we don't want your tongue in your cheek."< />< />Oh, you're ever so witty. Apparently you have poor reading comprehension, but you're witty, in a "saw it coming from a mile away...and what took her so long?" way.< />< />"Since you asked, I actually am classy."< />< />Then behave like it. It's an "all the time" type of thing, not just when it's convenient.< />< />" But lets make that a classy widow since my husband died last year."< />< />My condolences.< />< />"...since 3 year old twins take up most of my time."< />< />Ever wonder if they're sneaking Mountain Dew? And I'm sure that you don't need to be told, but make sure they know what kind of a man their dad was.< />< />"I was really just trying to rile things up a little."< />< />And not very well. I don't think I even started to jiggle a foot mildly.< />< />"I hope you find happiness because not everyone is cynical and jaded, angry and full of unrealistic expectations."< />< />Poor reading comprehension again.< />< />"I am..."< />< />Clearly.< />< />"I just miss my husband."< />< />Again, my condolences.
  • OA
    "My "doth protest" statement was directed at your obvious "size" issues. (Since you tried to short circuit that argument, I assume you must have some self esteem issues in that department.)"< />< />Yup, that must be it.< />< />A few posts too late with it, but better late than never, right?< />< />"And baby, just cause it seems like you could use simplified directions, we don't want your tongue in your cheek."< />< />Oh, you're ever so witty. Apparently you have poor reading comprehension, but you're witty, in a "saw it coming from a mile away...and what took her so long?" way.< />< />"Since you asked, I actually am classy."< />< />Then behave like it. It's an "all the time" type of thing, not just when it's convenient.< />< />" But lets make that a classy widow since my husband died last year."< />< />My condolences.< />< />"...since 3 year old twins take up most of my time."< />< />Ever wonder if they're sneaking Mountain Dew? And I'm sure that you don't need to be told, but make sure they know what kind of a man their dad was.< />< />"I was really just trying to rile things up a little."< />< />And not very well. I don't think I even started to jiggle a foot mildly.< />< />"I hope you find happiness because not everyone is cynical and jaded, angry and full of unrealistic expectations."< />< />Poor reading comprehension again.< />< />"I am..."< />< />Clearly.< />< />"I just miss my husband."< />< />Again, my condolences.
  • angrycanrn
    Oh, poor baby oa. So misunderstood.< />< />My "doth protest" statement was directed at your obvious "size" issues. (Since you tried to short circuit that argument, I assume you must have some self esteem issues in that department.)< />< />And baby, just cause it seems like you could use simplified directions, we don't want your tongue in your cheek.< />< />Since you asked, I actually am classy. But lets make that a classy widow since my husband died last year. Thanks for asking. Yes, I enjoyed our sex life immensely mostly because we cared about pleasing the other. Not on the rebound and not looking, since 3 year old twins take up most of my time. < />You admit you got out of the dating scene long ago. Married? Or just content to live the single life? Either way, I wish you luck. I was really just trying to rile things up a little. Moreover, I hope you find happiness because not everyone is cynical and jaded, angry and full of unrealistic expectations. I am, but not everyone is. I just miss my husband.cw
  • angrycanrn
    Oh, poor baby oa. So misunderstood.< />< />My "doth protest" statement was directed at your obvious "size" issues. (Since you tried to short circuit that argument, I assume you must have some self esteem issues in that department.)< />< />And baby, just cause it seems like you could use simplified directions, we don't want your tongue in your cheek.< />< />Since you asked, I actually am classy. But lets make that a classy widow since my husband died last year. Thanks for asking. Yes, I enjoyed our sex life immensely mostly because we cared about pleasing the other. Not on the rebound and not looking, since 3 year old twins take up most of my time. < />You admit you got out of the dating scene long ago. Married? Or just content to live the single life? Either way, I wish you luck. I was really just trying to rile things up a little. Moreover, I hope you find happiness because not everyone is cynical and jaded, angry and full of unrealistic expectations. I am, but not everyone is. I just miss my husband.cw
  • OA
    angrycanrn said... < />oa:< />Thou doth protest too much, me thinks.< />September 27, 2008 8:47 PM< />< />I protest too much, when I'm not the one that can't figure out a tongue in cheek post?< />< />Right.< />< />"Fact is, I like being on my knees, guys hands gripping my hair...... but it doesn't mean I'm going to give it my all, especially since I have to return the rental in the morning."< />< />Ahhh...a classy lassie. On the rebound?< />< />< />Anonymous said... < />oa, chill out. It's OK hon. Nobody here accused u of having a little dick.< />September 27, 2008 9:06 PM< />< />I'd have to be het up to need chilling. But yeah, no one went with Internet 101. Sling the "little dick" or "doesn't get laid" accusation. You girls are slacking. < />< />"I have to confess myself that I've given some really sloppy blow-jobs while being drunk/halfasleep/uninterested, so we can't really accused the boys of bad behaviour LOL)"< />< />Fact is, most people just aren't that good at it in general. Apparently both sexes believe if they watch enough porn and plow through a bunch of partners then they're just fantastic in bed, but generally it just makes them overconfident in their abilities and jaded towards relationships. Glad I got out of the dating scene long ago. Most people are just too angry, too unhappy, too full of unrealistic expectations.
  • OA
    angrycanrn said... < />oa:< />Thou doth protest too much, me thinks.< />September 27, 2008 8:47 PM< />< />I protest too much, when I'm not the one that can't figure out a tongue in cheek post?< />< />Right.< />< />"Fact is, I like being on my knees, guys hands gripping my hair...... but it doesn't mean I'm going to give it my all, especially since I have to return the rental in the morning."< />< />Ahhh...a classy lassie. On the rebound?< />< />< />Anonymous said... < />oa, chill out. It's OK hon. Nobody here accused u of having a little dick.< />September 27, 2008 9:06 PM< />< />I'd have to be het up to need chilling. But yeah, no one went with Internet 101. Sling the "little dick" or "doesn't get laid" accusation. You girls are slacking. < />< />"I have to confess myself that I've given some really sloppy blow-jobs while being drunk/halfasleep/uninterested, so we can't really accused the boys of bad behaviour LOL)"< />< />Fact is, most people just aren't that good at it in general. Apparently both sexes believe if they watch enough porn and plow through a bunch of partners then they're just fantastic in bed, but generally it just makes them overconfident in their abilities and jaded towards relationships. Glad I got out of the dating scene long ago. Most people are just too angry, too unhappy, too full of unrealistic expectations.
  • Anonymous
    oa, chill out. It's OK hon. Nobody here accused u of having a little dick.< />< />Goshh..< />< />I have to confess myself that I've given some really sloppy blow-jobs while being drunk/halfasleep/uninterested, so we can't really accused the boys of bad behaviour LOL)
  • Anonymous
    oa, chill out. It's OK hon. Nobody here accused u of having a little dick.< />< />Goshh..< />< />I have to confess myself that I've given some really sloppy blow-jobs while being drunk/halfasleep/uninterested, so we can't really accused the boys of bad behaviour LOL)
  • angrycanrn
    oa:< />Thou doth protest too much, me thinks.< />< />Darling, if you even TRY, you will get a much more enthusiastic, willing to try *anything* partner. And isn't that better all round? Especially if you like it a little on the rough side?< />< />But hey, if all you want is wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Straight up missionary position that's ok too. Perhaps that is as creative as you can get?< />< />Have you ever had a mediocre blow job? Yeah, same rental car analogy applies. We just don't care enough. Fact is, I like being on my knees, guys hands gripping my hair...... but it doesn't mean I'm going to give it my all, especially since I have to return the rental in the morning.
  • angrycanrn
    oa:< />Thou doth protest too much, me thinks.< />< />Darling, if you even TRY, you will get a much more enthusiastic, willing to try *anything* partner. And isn't that better all round? Especially if you like it a little on the rough side?< />< />But hey, if all you want is wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Straight up missionary position that's ok too. Perhaps that is as creative as you can get?< />< />Have you ever had a mediocre blow job? Yeah, same rental car analogy applies. We just don't care enough. Fact is, I like being on my knees, guys hands gripping my hair...... but it doesn't mean I'm going to give it my all, especially since I have to return the rental in the morning.
  • OA
    Anonymous said... < />oa, that is hysterical. Kind of like you assume we maybe enjoyed it enough that we had an orgasm. you assume much.< />< />September 27, 2008 6:20 PM< />< />We? I haven't had sex with you. And it's rather hard of y'all to fake involuntary muscle spasms and liquid. Ever had such a hard orgasm that you damn near blacked out? So hard that your muscles were too smoked to stand? Doesn't take much, couple of fingers working the g-spot and lips sucked down on the clit and the tongue working away after some rowdy sex...which brings me back to the point that angered you, lots of guys can do it, they just don't care enough about the girl to do it. One doesn't care to deeply for a rental car.< />< />What's next, accusing me of having a little dick?
  • OA
    Anonymous said... < />oa, that is hysterical. Kind of like you assume we maybe enjoyed it enough that we had an orgasm. you assume much.< />< />September 27, 2008 6:20 PM< />< />We? I haven't had sex with you. And it's rather hard of y'all to fake involuntary muscle spasms and liquid. Ever had such a hard orgasm that you damn near blacked out? So hard that your muscles were too smoked to stand? Doesn't take much, couple of fingers working the g-spot and lips sucked down on the clit and the tongue working away after some rowdy sex...which brings me back to the point that angered you, lots of guys can do it, they just don't care enough about the girl to do it. One doesn't care to deeply for a rental car.< />< />What's next, accusing me of having a little dick?
  • Recovering Grady Addict
    And the lesbian chimes in.....< />< />Boys, boys, boys... It's NOT so difficult to find, but rather, it's sometimes difficult to figure out exactly WHAT to do with it when you do. If you had taken the time to do so, your ladies would claw your notches in your headboards for you, cook you breakfast, AND toss your laundry in before leaving on wobbly legs.< />< />Not to mention that less and less of your girlfriends would be kissin girls and batting for MY team these days. HA!
  • Recovering Grady Addict
    And the lesbian chimes in.....< />< />Boys, boys, boys... It's NOT so difficult to find, but rather, it's sometimes difficult to figure out exactly WHAT to do with it when you do. If you had taken the time to do so, your ladies would claw your notches in your headboards for you, cook you breakfast, AND toss your laundry in before leaving on wobbly legs.< />< />Not to mention that less and less of your girlfriends would be kissin girls and batting for MY team these days. HA!
  • mimi
    I don't care if they don't care about me much. As long as they care about my "clitris" everything is fine.< />< />:-O
  • mimi
    I don't care if they don't care about me much. As long as they care about my "clitris" everything is fine.< />< />:-O
  • Anonymous
    oa, that is hysterical. Kind of like you assume we maybe enjoyed it enough that we had an orgasm. you assume much.
  • Anonymous
    oa, that is hysterical. Kind of like you assume we maybe enjoyed it enough that we had an orgasm. you assume much.
  • OA
    You assume all the guys you've been with actually care about you enough to bother with it, but for whatever reason just don't.< />< />You assume much.
  • OA
    You assume all the guys you've been with actually care about you enough to bother with it, but for whatever reason just don't.< />< />You assume much.
  • angrycanrn.wordpress.com
    If only men were successful in finding it and romancing it.... < />< />Then WE (the female gender) would exhaust you. AND we might even cook for you.< />< />Keep searching boys.
  • angrycanrn.wordpress.com
    If only men were successful in finding it and romancing it.... < />< />Then WE (the female gender) would exhaust you. AND we might even cook for you.< />< />Keep searching boys.
  • momster
    I swear to God this is true. About a year ago I had a dream I was being attacked by pirates. They had me down on the deck when one pirate says, "Arr what they be captain?" The captain replies, "That be a clitoris." The pirate answers , "What it be fer?" And the captain replies, I show you what it be fer." And then I woke up. I often wish the pirates would come back but no such luck.
  • momster
    I swear to God this is true. About a year ago I had a dream I was being attacked by pirates. They had me down on the deck when one pirate says, "Arr what they be captain?" The captain replies, "That be a clitoris." The pirate answers , "What it be fer?" And the captain replies, I show you what it be fer." And then I woke up. I often wish the pirates would come back but no such luck.
  • easily lost
    omg you were talking about a typo?< />nabs her mind back out of the gutter, sorry :) < />points at AD, it's all his fault
  • easily lost
    omg you were talking about a typo?< />nabs her mind back out of the gutter, sorry :) < />points at AD, it's all his fault
  • TOTWTYTR
    Steve, sometimes these things take on a life of their own, so it's wiser to leave it to run it's course.
  • TOTWTYTR
    Steve, sometimes these things take on a life of their own, so it's wiser to leave it to run it's course.
  • Anonymous
    So, having read all of the comments on this post and the one that spawned it I have observed that no one appears to have considered the possibility (however remote) that the original commenter might have been reacting to the fact that the word was MISSPELLED! The proper spelling is clitoris not clitris. This is however an amusing thread nonetheless.< />< />Steve
  • Anonymous
    So, having read all of the comments on this post and the one that spawned it I have observed that no one appears to have considered the possibility (however remote) that the original commenter might have been reacting to the fact that the word was MISSPELLED! The proper spelling is clitoris not clitris. This is however an amusing thread nonetheless.< />< />Steve
  • easily lost
    If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Trust me, we won't argue ;)
  • easily lost
    If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Trust me, we won't argue ;)
  • William the Coroner
    been to med school.< />< />Ducks and runs like a weasel.
  • William the Coroner
    been to med school.< />< />Ducks and runs like a weasel.
  • Wyatt Earp
    It's a myth . . . like one-hour martinizing.
  • Wyatt Earp
    It's a myth . . . like one-hour martinizing.
  • OA
    Perhaps poor phrasing, given the subject, but I think some folks need to look up "tongue in cheek".< />< />And anyone old enough to remember the East German swim team knows bloody well that Sasquatch have clits. Big, big clits.
  • OA
    Perhaps poor phrasing, given the subject, but I think some folks need to look up "tongue in cheek".< />< />And anyone old enough to remember the East German swim team knows bloody well that Sasquatch have clits. Big, big clits.
  • William the Coroner
    "No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman." Honore de Balzac.< />< />'Nuff (muff) said.
  • William the Coroner
    "No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman." Honore de Balzac.< />< />'Nuff (muff) said.
  • Ambulance Driver
    .< />< />Come to think of it, mine left me too. < />< />;)
  • Ambulance Driver
    .< />< />Come to think of it, mine left me too. < />< />;)
  • EE
    I would make some rude comment about if you're big enough finding it doesn't matter...< />< />but I won't go there.< />< />I just grossed myself out a bit...
  • EE
    I would make some rude comment about if you're big enough finding it doesn't matter...< />< />but I won't go there.< />< />I just grossed myself out a bit...
  • Peter
    A tip from my long distant youthful past.< />< />When you've just given your partner a massage with Deep Heat mentholatum rub, for a sore muscle . . .< />< />And things turn a little passionate . . . < />< />It's not a good idea to seek that portion of anatomy while you still have the residual Deep Heat rub on your fingers.< />< />How do I know this?< />< />Trust me.< />< />I know this.< />< />8-O< />< />Ah, well, it was a nice relationship while it lasted . . .
  • Peter
    A tip from my long distant youthful past.< />< />When you've just given your partner a massage with Deep Heat mentholatum rub, for a sore muscle . . .< />< />And things turn a little passionate . . . < />< />It's not a good idea to seek that portion of anatomy while you still have the residual Deep Heat rub on your fingers.< />< />How do I know this?< />< />Trust me.< />< />I know this.< />< />8-O< />< />Ah, well, it was a nice relationship while it lasted . . .
  • paula
    What type of ambulance driver are u that you're not able to locate it? It should be mandatory for all EMS drivers :-)
  • paula
    What type of ambulance driver are u that you're not able to locate it? It should be mandatory for all EMS drivers :-)
  • paula
    My "clitris" exists, and no, I'm not the Lochness monster, but thanks to it I'm able to have lochness monster orgasms. Some guys suceed at finding it others don't give the time of the day. The latter ones I never call them back.< />< />:-)
  • paula
    My "clitris" exists, and no, I'm not the Lochness monster, but thanks to it I'm able to have lochness monster orgasms. Some guys suceed at finding it others don't give the time of the day. The latter ones I never call them back.< />< />:-)
  • easily lost
    (y'all just aren't looking hard enough)< />A little to the right and a smidgen higher please :D
  • easily lost
    (y'all just aren't looking hard enough)< />A little to the right and a smidgen higher please :D
  • TOTWTYTR
    Of course trying to find the Lockness Monster's would give new meaning to the term "Muff Diving". < />< />Even I'm offended at that one!
  • TOTWTYTR
    Of course trying to find the Lockness Monster's would give new meaning to the term "Muff Diving". < />< />Even I'm offended at that one!
  • Ambulance Driver
    She might, but she's just too darned hairy to tell.
  • Ambulance Driver
    She might, but she's just too darned hairy to tell.
  • Jeff
    But does Sasquatch have one?
  • Jeff
    But does Sasquatch have one?
  • curmudgeon
    I've heard of them. I've also heard of Sasquatch.
  • curmudgeon
    I've heard of them. I've also heard of Sasquatch.
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