Attention, Pregnant Females!

64 comments

If you are pregnant and suffering labor pains, cramps or *minor* vaginal bleeding , and you live in Podunk, Lousiana or the surrounding vicinity, and your choices are either driving fifteen minutes to this tiny little ER or going to the big hospital fifteen minutes further away that has Labor and Delivery services…

…GO TO THE OTHER HOSPITAL.

Yes, we will attempt to take care of you here. No, we will not be able to handle your problem, if there is anything to it. Yes, you will have to go by ambulance to the other hospital that you should have gone to in the first place. Yes, you will be expected to pay the fee for that ambulance transport if you are uninsured or your Medicaid does not pay.

If you are one of those who shows up in our ER several times a week, despite having heard this lecture every single time…

…then I beg of you, please give your baby up for adoption. You are too stupid to be allowed to raise children.

That is all.

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Posted by Ambulance Driver on March 3, 2008 • Filed under: Uncategorized

Snigglefrits

No hospital within 60 miles of my home will deliver babies. No questions, no fancy retorts, just a plain, “We don’t do that here.”. The idgit I work with uses the local ER like an after-hours clinic and it drives me insane. I broke my foot late one Friday night and wouldn’t go to the ER because I wasn’t sure it was broken and didn’t want to take up their time and spend my money if it was just sprained.Until I started reading your blog AD, I thought it was just a local problem. Sad that it’s everywhere.May tomorrow be a better day for you. (Funny the word verification that came up was purjerk. Even blogger knows that folks who abuse the ER are pure jerks. Or maybe they’re talking about me? heh)
Snigglefrits

No hospital within 60 miles of my home will deliver babies. No questions, no fancy retorts, just a plain, “We don’t do that here.”. The idgit I work with uses the local ER like an after-hours clinic and it drives me insane. I broke my foot late one Friday night and wouldn’t go to the ER because I wasn’t sure it was broken and didn’t want to take up their time and spend my money if it was just sprained.Until I started reading your blog AD, I thought it was just a local problem. Sad that it’s everywhere.May tomorrow be a better day for you. (Funny the word verification that came up was purjerk. Even blogger knows that folks who abuse the ER are pure jerks. Or maybe they’re talking about me? heh)
shooter

Thankfully, my preggers wife, ‘Swede’, is neither dumber than a box of hammers, nor lives anywhere near Podunk General Hair Care and Tire Salon. We’re surrounded by books, my OT sister begging to do cranial what-the-hell-ever therapy, other preggers co-workers, and a grandma-to-be wearing a catcher’s mitt. Got a lot of people to talk to before we have to call the doc or make the trip to PdGHC&TS.BTW, Swede is at five months and I can feel the little balogna loaf starting to wiggle around in there. How amazing is that?!?!
shooter

Thankfully, my preggers wife, ‘Swede’, is neither dumber than a box of hammers, nor lives anywhere near Podunk General Hair Care and Tire Salon. We’re surrounded by books, my OT sister begging to do cranial what-the-hell-ever therapy, other preggers co-workers, and a grandma-to-be wearing a catcher’s mitt. Got a lot of people to talk to before we have to call the doc or make the trip to PdGHC&TS.BTW, Swede is at five months and I can feel the little balogna loaf starting to wiggle around in there. How amazing is that?!?!
shooter

Thankfully, my preggers wife, ‘Swede’, is neither dumber than a box of hammers, nor lives anywhere near Podunk General Hair Care and Tire Salon. We’re surrounded by books, my OT sister begging to do cranial what-the-hell-ever therapy, other preggers co-workers, and a grandma-to-be wearing a catcher’s mitt. Got a lot of people to talk to before we have to call the doc or make the trip to PdGHC&TS.;BTW, Swede is at five months and I can feel the little balogna loaf starting to wiggle around in there. How amazing is that?!?!
shooter

Thankfully, my preggers wife, ‘Swede’, is neither dumber than a box of hammers, nor lives anywhere near Podunk General Hair Care and Tire Salon. We’re surrounded by books, my OT sister begging to do cranial what-the-hell-ever therapy, other preggers co-workers, and a grandma-to-be wearing a catcher’s mitt. Got a lot of people to talk to before we have to call the doc or make the trip to PdGHC&TS.;BTW, Swede is at five months and I can feel the little balogna loaf starting to wiggle around in there. How amazing is that?!?!
Scott

So I take it you subscribe to “nurture” over “nature.” LOL!
Scott

So I take it you subscribe to “nurture” over “nature.” LOL!
Scott

So I take it you subscribe to “nurture” over “nature.” LOL!
Scott

So I take it you subscribe to “nurture” over “nature.” LOL!
Christina LMT

Shooter, “cranial-sacral therapy”, perhaps?
Christina LMT

Shooter, “cranial-sacral therapy”, perhaps?
Christina LMT

Shooter, “cranial-sacral therapy”, perhaps?
Christina LMT

Shooter, “cranial-sacral therapy”, perhaps?