Skip to content

I'm Baaaaaack…

Comments


As the saying goes, rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

Sorry about the paucity of pithy posting lately, but I’ve had my reasons.

Spent the last week celebrating New Year’s with my lovely sweetheart, who showed me the sights of southern Georgia, cooked delicious meals, dealt with my daughter’s hero worship and incessant questions, and ignored my smelly feet. The woman’s a saint, I tell you.

Blogging was not high on my list of priorities, but Babs managed to soothe away the aches of 2007 and recharge my emotional batteries, so the coming year should be a good one.

Before I could leave for Georgia, I had a few major personal and professional items to attend to before the end of the year, but I am proud to say that I was able to make the drive without fear of being apprehended by The Man.

*Note To Self* Never take the Podunk PeeDee Police Chief up on his offer to fix a ticket for you. It’s much cheaper and less aggravating to just pay the damned ticket.

*Note To Self Number Two* Never trust a man who says, “Here, I’ll pay those tickets for you. It’s the least I could do; after all it was my trailer, and you were doing me a favor.”

This especially applies to a man who can’t be trusted to pay the utility bills for his own damned ambulance service.

*Note To Self Number Three* Never, EVER drive through Woodworth, LA again.

Whilst paying my exorbitant fines to the legally sanctioned extortionists Woodworth Police Department, I was able to peruse the swanky Town Hall I have personally financed over the years.

Honestly, I’ve never seen gold-plated bathroom fixtures outside of Graceland. It felt almost sacrilegious to take a dump in such a fine toilet.

Then I remembered how much I had paid for said toilet, and gleefully grunted up a monster loaf to symbolize my everlasting love for their fine town…

…and left without flushing.

I live for such moments.

Posted by Ambulance Driver on January 4, 2008 • Filed under: Uncategorized
  • Lemon Stand
    :o)
  • Lemon Stand
    :o)
  • LawDog
    Minion reporting in.
  • LawDog
    Minion reporting in.
  • Christina LMT
    I am a proud minion of Farmgirl...consider yourself harrassed!< />< />You've got to learn the etiquette of bribery. See, you have to actually pony up the bribe you offered to get what you want. < />< />Makes sense, no?
  • Christina LMT
    I am a proud minion of Farmgirl...consider yourself harrassed!< />< />You've got to learn the etiquette of bribery. See, you have to actually pony up the bribe you offered to get what you want. < />< />Makes sense, no?
  • DB
    Anything above 35 is speeding in Woodworth & LeCompte is just as bad.
  • DB
    Anything above 35 is speeding in Woodworth & LeCompte is just as bad.
  • Farmgirl
    I have orders to pass this along since blogger doesn't seem to like her just at the moment....< />< />"Consider yourself bugged at Farmgirl's request! -- Farmgirl's Mamaw"
  • Farmgirl
    I have orders to pass this along since blogger doesn't seem to like her just at the moment....< />< />"Consider yourself bugged at Farmgirl's request! -- Farmgirl's Mamaw"
  • Red
    *poke*< />< />That is my attempt at harassing the writer.< />< />I'll gladly be a minion of Farmgirl - it means I get more of 2 great stories, so I win anyways! More Star of Life and Jane from you both....pretty please?
  • Red
    *poke*< />< />That is my attempt at harassing the writer.< />< />I'll gladly be a minion of Farmgirl - it means I get more of 2 great stories, so I win anyways! More Star of Life and Jane from you both....pretty please?
  • Lemon Stand
    The things you can learn in the comments section... I'll have to look up the speed traps when driving down south. It's the opposite where I live. < />< />As for the Poo... TOO funny!!!< />< />Here's wishing you a wonderful 2008!
  • Lemon Stand
    The things you can learn in the comments section... I'll have to look up the speed traps when driving down south. It's the opposite where I live. < />< />As for the Poo... TOO funny!!!< />< />Here's wishing you a wonderful 2008!
  • Recovering Grady Addict
    Glad to see Babs had offerd you another heapin helpin of our Southern Hospitality. Maybe one fine visit will drag the both of you kickin and screaming to the big city and I can host you for some off the beaten path ATL fun. Since I chewed my leg off and freed myself from the scheduling and overtime HELL of Grady EMS... WE HAVE A LIFE NOW!!! YIPPIE!!! BTW... EXPO '08 is in Vegas. Already listing a kidney on e-bay to fund the debauchery! Better see you there!
  • Recovering Grady Addict
    Glad to see Babs had offerd you another heapin helpin of our Southern Hospitality. Maybe one fine visit will drag the both of you kickin and screaming to the big city and I can host you for some off the beaten path ATL fun. Since I chewed my leg off and freed myself from the scheduling and overtime HELL of Grady EMS... WE HAVE A LIFE NOW!!! YIPPIE!!! BTW... EXPO '08 is in Vegas. Already listing a kidney on e-bay to fund the debauchery! Better see you there!
  • Farmgirl
    You are so full of poo! You didn't update here at all today! There better be a Star of Life Chapter tomorrow or I'm holding my next chapter hostage! :P< />< />Considering the way things went today I might even be able to post another entire chapter by Wednesday.... IF you fulfill your side of the deal.
  • Farmgirl
    You are so full of poo! You didn't update here at all today! There better be a Star of Life Chapter tomorrow or I'm holding my next chapter hostage! :P< />< />Considering the way things went today I might even be able to post another entire chapter by Wednesday.... IF you fulfill your side of the deal.
  • Bob
    Don't get mad, get even, I always say.
  • Bob
    Don't get mad, get even, I always say.
  • Ron
    < />< />Have a great day< />< />(I would have tagged Babs as well, but she ain't sharing with us lowly AD followers anymore)
  • Ron
    < />< />Have a great day< />< />(I would have tagged Babs as well, but she ain't sharing with us lowly AD followers anymore)
  • phlegmfatale
    "It felt almost sacrilegious to take a dump in such a fine toilet."< />< />Then again, every day is a good day to vote for Hillary (what we call excreting poo in my clan).< />< />I figured you and Babs were celebrating in style. Glad to see you back, but so pleased to know you had a lovely holiday despite other irritations.< />< />Cheers, m'dears!
  • phlegmfatale
    "It felt almost sacrilegious to take a dump in such a fine toilet."< />< />Then again, every day is a good day to vote for Hillary (what we call excreting poo in my clan).< />< />I figured you and Babs were celebrating in style. Glad to see you back, but so pleased to know you had a lovely holiday despite other irritations.< />< />Cheers, m'dears!
  • Christina LMT
    Read AD in 2008 to make more *notes to self* about which towns to avoid driving through if at all possible...< />< />Happy New Year, AD!
  • Christina LMT
    Read AD in 2008 to make more *notes to self* about which towns to avoid driving through if at all possible...< />< />Happy New Year, AD!
  • Anonymous
    AD - Woodworth was 'only' ranked #5 in the state in a leg. study - though speedtraps.org says it's the worst. I've about memorized the list - regularly go through three of the top ten (in La.) According to speedtrap.org, the worst in Ga. is Pendergrass - hope that's not in your path!
  • Anonymous
    AD - Woodworth was 'only' ranked #5 in the state in a leg. study - though speedtraps.org says it's the worst. I've about memorized the list - regularly go through three of the top ten (in La.) According to speedtrap.org, the worst in Ga. is Pendergrass - hope that's not in your path!
  • TrekMedic251
    Welcome back and a belated Happy New Year!
  • TrekMedic251
    Welcome back and a belated Happy New Year!
  • Gary
    "...and left without flushing."< />< />BTW, did you stuff a bunch of paper towels down into the toilet before leaving your "present"? < />< />Imagine the surprise the next person to flush would have had.
  • Gary
    "...and left without flushing."< />< />BTW, did you stuff a bunch of paper towels down into the toilet before leaving your "present"? < />< />Imagine the surprise the next person to flush would have had.
  • HollyB
    You guys and your bathroom humor...I grew up with 4 brothers and I STILL need brain bleach after readin' this...< />but I'm glad you and the sproglette had a good time with Babs, AD. When you and Babs have time, you'll see I left you both a NY message on my page on the 2nd. < />< />Now, get back to entertainin' us! And where's my Star of Life Chapter, dammit?
  • HollyB
    You guys and your bathroom humor...I grew up with 4 brothers and I STILL need brain bleach after readin' this...< />but I'm glad you and the sproglette had a good time with Babs, AD. When you and Babs have time, you'll see I left you both a NY message on my page on the 2nd. < />< />Now, get back to entertainin' us! And where's my Star of Life Chapter, dammit?
  • Wyatt Earp
    If you really had a set of peaches, you would have given that swanky restroom an "upper decker." Heh.
  • Wyatt Earp
    If you really had a set of peaches, you would have given that swanky restroom an "upper decker." Heh.
  • Scott
    Hahaahha! I'll probably never make it to Louisiana, but if I do, I'll drive really slowly, and go take a crap in that bathroom on your nickel! LOL!
  • Scott
    Hahaahha! I'll probably never make it to Louisiana, but if I do, I'll drive really slowly, and go take a crap in that bathroom on your nickel! LOL!
  • Gary
    Just look on the bright side. You'll have more stories for EMStock in September. < />< />Harking back to the time you ex let you truck insurance lapse. I laughed at that story when you told it to me. < />< />I didn't laugh so much when I found out that my wife had forgot to pay the insurance on our cars and I had been driving around for three MONTHS with no auto insurance. < />< />Sheesh.
  • Gary
    Just look on the bright side. You'll have more stories for EMStock in September. < />< />Harking back to the time you ex let you truck insurance lapse. I laughed at that story when you told it to me. < />< />I didn't laugh so much when I found out that my wife had forgot to pay the insurance on our cars and I had been driving around for three MONTHS with no auto insurance. < />< />Sheesh.
  • Brendan
    Sounds like one of those towns where the cops pull over out-of-state tags for 1 mile over, and magically find a bag of weed in the glove compartment. I've heard La. aas a few of those.
  • Brendan
    Sounds like one of those towns where the cops pull over out-of-state tags for 1 mile over, and magically find a bag of weed in the glove compartment. I've heard La. aas a few of those.
  • Jay G
    Glad to see you back, AD.< />< />Hope 2008 is even better than 2007!
  • Jay G
    Glad to see you back, AD.< />< />Hope 2008 is even better than 2007!
  • dylthedog
    Happy New Year AD wishing you and yours a great 2008. Good to have you back!!
  • dylthedog
    Happy New Year AD wishing you and yours a great 2008. Good to have you back!!
  • Babs
    Well I'm no demon, Matt...much as some might like to paint me that way. Still, I do have my own set of horns that come out every now and again.< />< />He'll figure it all out, even if I have to bash him over the head with one of those horns. ;)
  • Babs
    Well I'm no demon, Matt...much as some might like to paint me that way. Still, I do have my own set of horns that come out every now and again.< />< />He'll figure it all out, even if I have to bash him over the head with one of those horns. ;)
  • Matt G
    fortunate lapses in decorum. < />< />Complete and utter lack of an internal censor. < />< />And you take him on, anyway? < />< />Maybe sainthood is out... but you realize what the alternative is, dontcha, Babs?
  • Matt G
    fortunate lapses in decorum. < />< />Complete and utter lack of an internal censor. < />< />And you take him on, anyway? < />< />Maybe sainthood is out... but you realize what the alternative is, dontcha, Babs?
  • Babs
    Saint? Eh. You overstate.
  • Babs
    Saint? Eh. You overstate.
blog comments powered by Disqus